Chaya

Monday morning: I drifted awake on the tail end of a dream. I think the moment just before I opened my eyes, I had been (in my dream) repeating, "Chaya, Chaya, Chaya ..." (No, not the 'Chaiyya chaiyya' song.)

The Chaya in my dream had been a beautiful, dark-haired woman.

In my dream, I was (I think) on my first day at a job—either as a receptionist or assistant to a doctor who didn't/hadn't (yet) turn up at work—and I was handling all the patients/clients who came to the office, wanting to see the doctor. Prior to going into the office, I seemed to be walking around with a friend (Jen, I think?) which gave me the opportunity to look around. The setting was natural and calming; think: ivy-covered stone walls and muted gurgling of man-made waterfalls.

In the doctor's office, I wasn't in a panic and the patients/clients weren't pushy or angry. They seemed content to be rescheduled and, in a more or less orderly manner, asked for their (new) appointments.

Chaya was one of them. I apologetically explained that the doctor wasn't in (yet) and asked whether she would like a new appointment, perhaps later that same day. She said she would like to be registered for the earliest possible opening but could I please give her a call as soon as the doctor came in. I promised I would. She wrote down a long-ish string of number and left her name.

I think maybe that was when I started waking up, repeating her name and staring at her phone number.

Anyway, it was an unusual name so last night I decided to look up its meaning. I pronounced her name 'chah-yah' (the Hindi way) which was what I was more familiar with; however, I'd just finished The Mathematician's Shiva on Sunday night so I'm kinda leaning towards the Hebrew meaning (however differently it is pronounced).

Does that dream mean anything? Hm.

Guilty Reads

• Jonathan Kellerman—The Golem of Hollywood
• Jonathan Kellerman—The Golem of Paris
• Stuart Rojstaczer—The Mathematician's Shiva

(Yeah, strange coincidence of reading back-to-back books with a Jewish theme. This is why I have a feeling that the Chaya in my dream isn't Indian but Middle Eastern/Jewish.)

Next Project

I'm itching to do more cutting—more specifically, Yule cards—but I've also been thinking of the updating that Rach's family tree cutting needs with the new addition to her family. Because I'm adamant that I don't draw anything (there're just too many steps, what with sketching and endless re-sketching—I often tear and crumple paper with my furious erasing—then scanning and adjusting/tracing, before I can even print and cut), I took days to find the right vectors to edit and paste together.

Anyway, after trying unsuccessfully to work on an actual tree cutting, I ended up pasting together something from a couple of Art Nouveau vectors I found online:

This looks like it could very well be a viable piece with both positive and negative cuts. The only criteria Rach gave me were that it be A3 and portrait (so she can re-use the frame she bought for the previous cutting).

Time to buy paper and get this printed out ...

I would like to do a series of small-ish Yule cards decorated with himmelis and/or with piercings (like the card I made for Jen) ... unfortunately I don't have anyone to give the cards to. I don't think I want to mail those cards—the himmelis will make the cards bulky and maybe slightly fragile.

Guilty reads:

• Christopher Moore—Fool
• Peter Mayle—The Marseille Caper
• Jonathan Kellerman—Motive

Nothing

The ornare card ended up being completely ruined after the spray paint job because of a small malfunction, so I just crumpled it up and threw it away. I think the next time I make such a card, I'll draw the design out by hand on graph paper—which will help keep my perforations more or less uniform in distance too (not that it really matters).

And then this straw thing just didn't turn out as I thought it would ... sigh.

I'd envisioned a bowl. This isn't even remotely bowl-like. And it's kinda flimsy. Worse: it looks like a fucking tortoise. I'mma try to salvage this, maybe turn it into a hanging thing as Emily suggested.

Guilty reads:

• Christopher Moore—A Dirty Job (I really, really, wholehearted-fuckingly dig this book. I don't think I laughed so much whilst reading, especially at Mrs Ling's stereotypically Chinese idiosyncrasies. I lmfao-ed at the "duck in pants" dish!)
• Christopher Moore—Secondhand Souls
• Jonathan Kellerman—Compulsion
• Jonathan Kellerman—Guilt
• Jonathan Kellerman—Killer
• Carl Hiaasen—Star Island
• Peter Mayle—The Vintage Caper

I also re-read Tom Holt's Who's Afraid of Beowulf. This and Expecting Someone Taller are prolly my two favorite titles by Holt although I think I enjoyed them more when I was doing Old Norse and Old English classes (I'm also re-reading Grailblazers but it's only okay). Still trying to finish reading Meadowland ... sigh.

Working on designing a new "family tree"-type paper cutting for Rach but I'm all out of inspiration ... -_-

One To Go

So ... Okay. Not exactly as I had envisioned, but close, I guess ... Once again, let down by my poor execution. Sigh.

Was too lazy to think up and make an envelope that will accommodate the bulkiness of the himmeli, so I folded a sleeve instead. (I intended to give this to a friend I'm supposed to meet for coffee this week. I don't think it's safe to mail this—too much room for destruction.)

I'd just spraypainted the other card. Lord, there was a dripping issue with that one so that card is actually ruined. (But I'm still curious as to how it'll turn out once I remove the tape, etc.)

Yule Cards WIP

First attempt at ornare:

Using a fucking thumbtack (for the lettering) is a real pain. Literally. I'm interested enough in this technique to look for more appropriate piercing/perforation tools—maybe get like a pergamano needle or two.

The perforations on for the snowflake were made by a very fine-nosed screwdriver my dad found me, but I'll definitely want to be able to make perforations of varying diameters. NO MORE THUMBTACKS ugh.

Because I'd printed the stencil inside the card, I'm gonna like spraypaint the inside as soon as I buy a better can of spraypaint. (I bought a can of Chase glitter spray on Friday and it is a fucking POS. I tested it on two of my cocktail straw himmelis and all I ended up with were two fucking glitter bombs. I'mma go get me a can of Krylon Glitter Blast soon. You get what you pay for, I guess.)

Alternatively, I guess I might washi-tape the inside up? I still have two rolls of pretty nice silver-patterned washi tape.

This card's meant to have a star himmeli mounted on the card front, but since Chase's lousy glitter spray is fucking up my star ...

Wreath

Actually, this is pretty easy to make since I don't gotta measure or cut anything. It's pretty flimsy though, using cocktail straws and sewing thread.

I bought a can of silver glitter spraypaint for a small star I made for a card. If there's any leftover from my test sprays (gonna use the previous straw thingies I made as test subjects), I'mma spraypaint this baby.

60

Not sure if my calculations are correct. If a regular icosahedron has 20 little triangles in total, then I add three triangles to each little triangular face to make a triangle-based pyramid, I'd get like 60 surface triangles? (Honestly, I don't know the names to these shapes and shit. I either was not taught it, or I'd been spaced out when it was taught ...)

I have to say though: I don't like this spiky orb thing.

Sigh

Yesterday was the Diwali public holiday. The only Hindi movie screening on the free-to-view channel was fucking Chennai Express. Why the shitty show I don't have a clue, but I guess a movie like That Girl in Yellow Boots or Ugly isn't exactly something that will liven the holiday mood.

Tried out a himmeli orb (well, I made two, actually) while streaming Gone Girl:

I'd not read Gone Girl but the movie I couldn't finish nor did I want to. Visually, the movie looked great, but the characters and story—big fucking ugh. I found the movie to have zero incentive for me to continue or finish watching: I dislike both major characters and don't give a fuck as to whether revenge was had or they reconciled and had a happily ever after.

Anyway, books I finished in the last week or so:

• Bad Monkey
• Mystery
• Victims
• Sandman Slim:
  [note to self] Not sure whether to pursue this series or not. This book came as a if-you-like-[book A]-you'll-like-[book C] recommendation, [book A] being the Cabal brothers series. While I adore Johannes (and Holt) Cabal, James Stark isn't a character I feel much for either way. Sure, the book's throwaway one-liners gave me a number of amused snorts along the way, but I had to push myself to continue reading, almost right until the take-down at Club Avila when it got kinda exciting.

The himmeli orb has 20 facets (if I counted correctly), which makes it a regular icosahedron—I think. With no internal spokes, the structure is less stable than I like. Maybe I'll try stellated polyhedra next ... or something in a larger scale.

Wilde Cut

This is, I think, my first attempt at a pop-up card without a template ... so, as expected, my calculations and measurements are a little off. (Not to mention the lack of structural support in the text so that the first are is collapsing backwards.)

The background isn't coming through the way I thought it would (it's the starry night-sky background I created for my VSC 2 assignment, the Cirque des Rêves booklet).

This is one of my favorite quotes (out of context). Something I hope to remind myself when times get shitty.

A Quick One

The basic building block of this thing (three-sided triangle-faced) came to me while I was lying in bed on Sunday morning. This thing turned out to be kinda 'movable'—as in it can be rotated like flip food lunchbox.

I guess if I used bugle beads or something with clear nylon thread, this could arguably be worn ... right?

Mini Projects

As soon as I decided on wearable himmelis, I started making a butterfly one (cribbing from a design I found on Etsy) which is definitely not wearable.

Completed this one on Friday ... and it doesn't look much like a butterfly because I eyeballed the different lengths required based on the design. Ah well.

Also, I finally finished the first of my Islamic pattern cuttings yesterday:

I don't quite know what to do with this—mount it? Make it into something of a lampshade? What??? I gotta try to give this away to a friend so it's gotta be made into something.

I've also been on a bit of guilty-reading binge. I borrowed a bunch of books last Wednesday and the Wednesday before last after my blood test and a doctor consultation (re: blood test results; I'mma stop my thyroid pills now that my TSH and other crap have leveled out) and have been steadily going through them.

Guilty reads so far:

• The Girl Who Saved The King of Sweden
• Explosive Eighteen
• Notorious Nineteen
• Takedown Twenty
• The Outsourcer's Apprentice
• The Woman Who Died A Lot
• Johannes Cabal: The Fear Institute

Gotta say, I absolutely adore the Thursday Next and Johannes Cabal series! It used to be Tom Holt was my favorite (because of books like Who's Afraid of Beowulf and Expecting Someone Taller) but Jasper Fforde is now my new hero. And Jonathan L. Howard—hoo boy, I love me more of the brothers Cabal!

Not What I Had In Mind ...

See, what I'd intended to make was a bangle/bracelet; what I ended up with was a fucking wreath. A tiny wreath, but still a wreath nonetheless. Fuck.

I'm quite determined that I make something wearable today. And not flat.

The Devil's Workshop

Idle hands, devil's workshop ... No, but really, I find working with my hands therapeutic, soothing, and kinda rewarding (depending on how the final product turned out).

It started with wanting to make a housewarming gift for a friend (whose housewarming I eventually didn't attend): I was wavering (two to three days prior to said housewarming party) between a calendar and a hanging planter but soon decided that a plant seemed like more an appropriate gift. I was really taken by the himmeli planters I saw online and thought they didn't look very difficult to make ... (HA!)

Materials:

• Black straws (bendy bits snipped off)
• Cocktail straws
• Embroidery floss (I had loads from Daiso leftover from the friendship band attempts) and a long needle—I did try regular sewing thread (too fiddly for my fat fingers) and a spool of twisty tie (it doesn't lie straight and flat and curves the straws uglily); I think if I were to continue making these straw mobiles/ornaments, I'd use clear fishing wire/nylon beading wire thread.

I used the design of a star pendant I found. The whole thing measured approximately 30 cm; I cut my straws into 15 cm and 8 cm lengths. The plant I bought was an air plant, Spanish Moss (Tillandsia usneoides), which Emily pointed out resembled an untrimmed (pubic) bush.

So ... yeah. (That wasn't why I didn't attend the housewarming and give this thing I made though.)

These recent days have been weirdly tiring ones for me. Inexplicably so. I couldn't wake up, didn't feel like I slept restfully, and spent most of the day in a fugue of sorts. Making another himmeli was the only productive thing I've done between Monday and today (and the damn thing only took less than a single afternoon—while I was half-watching, half-listening to Drishyam.

Filmi-digression: Drishyam was decent enough but anybody expecting Rahasya-level suspense and thrills will be sorely disappointed. Tabu was fricking amazing and my, my, my does she look so delish. I also liked Shriya Saran enough to want to watch her other Hindi and English works, namely Gali Gali Chor Mein and Cooking with Stella).

This I made with the cocktail straws which had the two constraints of being of very limited length and very thin.

Conclusion: himmelis are actually really fun to make. It's just that I've nowhere to dump finish pieces (my mother will flip if I tried to display every single project I've made—from all my modular origami shit to paper-cuttings, and now this himmeli crap). For now, my sketchbooks and other assorted tools are scattered between my sister's vacated room (aka my dump-yard) and the living room coffee table (my preferred spot for working on paper-cuttings).

I wonder if it would be possible to make himmelis in a sorta paper-pleat pattern (which is also geometric). That would be interesting I think. Guess I could continue to scale down my himmelis to make them wearable art (look out WoW LOL!) ...

And speaking of paper-cuttings, I've been working on this for a few evenings now:

The coloring-as-therapy craze that's on right now—I find that super stressful. I can never be a color-er. Cutting is so, so, so much more relaxing and therapeutic. I'm also very much into the geometric Islamic motifs and patterns right now—not only are they pretty, they're really easy to cut!

Mini Collage (aka Didn't Know What To Do With Myself Today)

Collage as in I pasted vectors and patterns I found elsewhere into an artboard in Illustrator. All while listening to what I think of as a struggling-to-hold-on-hold-tight playlist.

Playlist:

• Dor – Yeh Honsla
• 3 Idiots – Jaane Nahin Denge Tujhe
• Hasee Toh Phasee – Manchala (this is my Hindi emotional counterpart to Sia's 'Chandelier')

Credit where credit is due:

• Feather vectors: Freepik.com
• Teardrop pattern: Creative Market
• Typeface: Notulen
• Dragonfly vector: Insects (Dover Publications, Dover Pictura Electronic Clip Art series)

(Scribble: mine.)

I think the word 'hope' is too off-center for my liking, but then hope always is ... Originally intended to make it into a cutting template but no way am I gonna be cutting that many curves.

Project: Paper-cut card

So someone I know launched her own studio, which is an amazing feat, and I decided a card is much faster to make than—say, an A3 cutting—because I only had maybe a week or so to work on it. (Even as a full-time bum, one week isn't a lot of time to go from conceptualizing to designing—and endless redrafts, given how quickly I change my mind about things—to buying materials, printing, and cutting (and re-cutting in the event of design or cutting mistakes), to presentation.)

This was the final product I gave:

The envelope was a simple one—Paul Jackson's angled envelope—made with tracing paper. The card design itself, lord that must've been the third of the three completely different designs I was working on.

I started out with a grid of letters ("congratulations") on a seamless pattern (which I took forever to decide on) but halfway through that, I started thinking of a variation of Cirque des Rêves (yes, based on The Night Circus) which had a circular motif and a typeface with beautiful swashes (Giza Pro).

Finally, because it was all getting overwhelming and (needlessly) complicated, I settled on this much simpler design which also meant an easier cutting time.

What I used:

• Typefaces:
  • Hello Script ("Hazel" and "I wish you every success")
  • Moon ("congratulations")
  • Reislust (the last two lines from Robert Crawford's 'Advice' which, fuck me, yes I didn't catch that I'd attributed it to Richard rather than Robert Crawford until I finished cutting and it's too late to reprint and re-cut. Major UGH.)
• Paper: Campap watercolor paper, 300 gsm, 229x305 mm
• Triangle pattern: I took a single triangle from a hand-drawn seamless pattern set then manually pasted it around (using Transform Each to rotate/copy). I thought of using the Symbol Sprayer tool but this was such a small canvas it was actually much faster to manually create the pattern than to spray, then shift/scrunch/size, etc.
• Colorful watercolor background from Freepik.com
• Silhouette: DIY from a photo of Hazel I found in her FB album

Making this card (as well as having 10 more sheets of watercolor paper left in my block) makes me want to do more cutting! So far, I've decided to do another card—this time, one with a quote in a simple pop-up—and two seamless geometric patterns. Will get those printed out at the only print shop I'd go to since I have the time to travel there—he works with a lot of students (from the nearby art school) so he's really patient and comes at really low rates and great advice (plus free throw-ins like cutting and scoring haha)!

Why

... do I appear to have an unnatural amount of anxiety about the interview this afternoon?

And, honestly, I don't think I'm anxious about screwing up the interview or that I'm nervous about being turned down for the position after the interview. I feel like I'm more anxious about being offered a position than having the interviewer dislike me. =( This is so weird.

Halp!

A One-Eighty?

What happened since the last post:

• Yesterday: A call from someone from a recruitment company asking me whether I was interested in a training position; promised to email me a detailed job description;
• Yesterday: A call from a local library body asking me to attend an interview next week;
• Yesterday: Came across a comms position that actually excited me (plus it's located in the east!) and I can't wait to apply;
• Today: Before I could even start doing up my cover letter for that comms job, a call from a local university library asking me about my availability for an interview in a fortnight and a promise to send an email to me once the details have been confirmed;
• Today: I actually got a reply from a local welfare group who had previously told me I wasn't going to be considered as a candidate because my expected salary was too high but to which I asked to be considered based on my experience and skills—it is really short notice, but they've asked me to go in for an interview tomorrow!

Now, of course, in an ideal world, I'd be getting job offers from all these interviews, but I know that's hardly going to be the case. I'm just now a little torn about what I would like to do IF I did manage to get different job offers.

I'd sent off applications for many library positions because I think I want to start on my MSc next year (if I found work in a library within this year, then hopefully my manager/employer could write me a recommendation letter to strengthen my application for the MSc). The interview with the local library body is for a short-term contract (ending at the end of March 2016) at a public library while the position with the university library is a permanent role.

PROS:

• They're library jobs and I actually like working in a library (although I'm not too sure about public library work—I've only ever worked in academic libraries)
• The more library work on my résumé, the stronger my MSc application.
• University (or research/academic) libraries are where I want to work.
• The university library that called me this morning is the only university in this country offer the MSc; I could kill two birds with one stone (if I got the job and got accepted into the MSc program).

CONS:

• Location—oh holy fuck they're on the west side of the island, with the university campus practically located in the neighboring country (yes, that's how FAR away it is), and the commute might just kills me.
  
  I know this is the only con that I can see (for now) but it's a very frightening, pragmatic, and realistic one. I'd gone for an interview at that same university a couple of weeks ago (for a position I didn't even apply wtf) and my dad drove me. It was THE. LONGEST. CAR. RIDE. OF. MY. LIFE. The train ride home was similarly THE. LONGEST. TRAIN. RIDE. OF. MY. LIFE. (Well, they're not—I've taken road trips and train rides between Auckland and Wellington—but that car ride and that train ride were so boring they felt like the longest journeys ever.)
  
  Some years ago, my friend Jen received a work-study scholarship for her MSc at this very university. She eventually dropped out of the program because of the commute and the people in the office. =(

Okay, that's just one dilemma. The other one I have is about the types of job I've been applying to. For the interview I'm going to tomorrow ...

PROS:

• It's at a great (central) location (and near both an aerial/pole arts studio, art schools where I can perhaps pursue a certificate or part-time diploma in Visual Communication/Communication Design or any other design/artsy-crafty course, and the national library)!
• If I got the job, I might just get to work with the wonderful and smart and tireless women who are involved in producing CEDAW shadow reports (which I only got to know about thanks to the QUILTBAG group).
• There's a direct train from this job's location to another local university where I can pursue an MA by coursework (in Linguistics/English Language or English Literature). I figured if my goal is to become a subject librarian, I should have both a Masters in a subject and in library studies, no?

PROS:

• I don't know what kind of a (professional) future I'd have in that organization—I don't think I'll be able to become a professional (i.e. as compared to being a librarian).
• Going away from library work then applying for the MSc is likely to weaken my application ...

Once I finish and send in the application I'm writing, I'd have applied for two Communications-type jobs. These are actually interesting to me because I think the jobs would require me to both design and write—two things I think I'm actually decent at and which aren't completely snore-inducing for me. However, I have no interest in pursuing a Masters in Mass Communication at this point (even if it is a professional degree) and I think I might have to start at the bottom of the food chain in this field if they don't recognize the communications and promotion/marketing work I did in the library. I really enjoy visual communication-related tasks and want to continue to develop my skills in design as well as the software used.

Bah. This is thinking too far ahead. Damnit, I should've only written post if/when I actually have job offers ...

Anyway. The best news today is actually the fact that when I googled Mephisto's name, his Twitter account is the top result! HE'S ALIVE THANK THE GOOD GODDESS!!!

Funny Side

Look on the funny side of things, maybe?

Surely it is better to laugh in the face of desperation and dread than to implode and crumble?

Of course, perhaps it is one of my life's learning goals to learn HOW to do exactly just that—laughing instead of fearing and collapsing.

A Few Flicks

Hindi movies I watched since my blogging hiatus (in the order I watched it):

• D-Day

  I think I was in the 'serious' and action-type movie phase when I watched this. I liked the film but was really sad at how it ended for Irrfan's character.

  Sigh <3 Irrfan! (<3 <3 <3 Irrfan more when he collaborated with AIB!)

• Ungli

  Eh ... the flick was okay. It had so much potential but ultimately failed to deliver. Poor Arunoday Singh's role was so tiny, never mind Kangana's. WTF, if you're gonna cast her, her character needs to have more to do!

• Talaash: The Answer Lies Within

  Awesome. Film.
  
  Rani was radiant but I wished she had a meatier role. Bebo's character reminded me a little of her Chameli. Sigh, those Chameli days seemed almost innocent. So nostalgic ...

• Detective Byomkesh Bakshy!

  YES I FINALLY WATCHED IT! Even though I was a little underwhelmed by it (thanks to my high high high expectations for it), it was still good — a proper whodunit (though not quite as intense as Rahasya).

• Dum Laga Ke Haisha

  Awww, this was the sweetest film I watched this year. The chemistry between the leads, the story, the feminist-leanings — all quite lovely. Plus, for once, I actually like an Anu Malik soundtrack (mainly because of nostalgia).

• Desi Boyz

  Oh lord, why did I watch this?

  ... Prolly because of Akshay and Chitrangada Singh. GIVE THAT LADY A PROPER MOVIE AND STRONG ROLE ALREADY GODAMNIT!

• Dil Bole Hadippa!

  I want to like this but knew, going into it, I was never going to.

  Didn't buy the Rani-Shahid Kapoor pairing (because I don't like him). Don't ever want to see them as a couple in a movie again. I need to rewatch She's The Man to figure out which was a better take on Twelfth Night than Trevor Nunn's version (which I couldn't sit through).

• Don 2

  Ugh.

  SRK.

  Ugh. I really must try not to watch any of SRK's old films.

• Son of Sardaar

  Oh god, why ...?

  I must've been in the mood for something brainless when I decided to watch this.

• Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

  Ugh, no.

  Just ... NO. (For fuckssakes, NO MORE SRK MOVIES, GIRL!)

• Singh is Kinng

  Okay, I know this is a dumbass comedy but I was already well disposed towards it when I first saw the music video that had Akshay and Snoop Dogg in it. Man, that was funny! I even played it for my kids before my workshops.

• Khiladi 786

  Actually, I didn't mind this so much (even with Asin in it). I do love me some Akshay action-comedy. He's like the Jackie Chan of Hindi cinema — but so much MOAR SEXAY.

  AND I actually liked the title track (not so much 'Hookah Bar' though)!

• Singham

  Watched this for the sexay Ajay Devgn. Was not disappointed.

  If Hindi cinema decides to rip off Hollywood's Taken franchise, there are now at least two contenders for Liam Neeson's character — Akshay and Ajay. (But, all in honesty, if anybody wants the Hindi version to surpass the rather low-bar standard of the English one, then have a good screenwriter or two *coughReemaKagtiFarhanZoyaAkhtarAnuragKashyapVishalBhardwajTigmanshuDhuliaAparnaSenUrmiJuvekarcough* tweak the screenplay and cast Nawaz, Irrfan, and Radhika Apte.)

• Singham Returns

  More sexay Ajay.

  Did not like the Ajay-Bebo pairing. Wow, the age gap between the male and female leads is beginning to bug me more and more.

  Also, I just saw a picture of a prepubescent Bebo and Salman Khan together. The caption said she was being consoled by him. All I could think of was: HOW THE FUCK do you play the romantic lead opposite someone you watched grow up?! That's like a million fucking shades of gross ...

• Happy New Year

  You know, every time I think Farah Khan couldn't get worse, she pulls an even shittier film outta her ass.

  Lady, we get it. You have a huge crush on SRK. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. (On the other hand, kudos to Farah for not making her crush nearly as gross as Stephanie Meyer's on the Edward vampire.)

• John Day

  Sigh, another film with potential that failed to deliver. BUT WHYYYY? The actors were so good, why and how did the film fuck up???

• Cash

  Speaking of fuck-ups ...

  Well, at least I got to ogle at Sharmita Shetty's rather delectable figure.

• Chaalis Chauraasi

  For some reason, my mind is mashing up the narrative of this film with what I think are very similar films, like Barah Aana, Mithya, Ek Chalis Ki Last Local, The Film Emotional Atyachar, etc.

  But this film is still better than any SRK film.

• Gabbar Is Back

  I like these 'social justice' type movies! Which other movies are in this vein??

  The schadenfreude in such movies is addictive. Who doesn't love it when the little guy (i.e. your aam aadmi) sticks it to Da Man (corrupt govt/authoritative/wealthy asshats)?

• Break Ke Baad

  I ... must've been in the mood for brainless rom-coms. Imran Khan is good in rom-coms but he'll always be Tashi to me.

  That said, I'm looking forward to Katti Batti. Imran Khan + Kangana = WIN (fingers crossed)!

• Khoobsurat (2014)

  I'm surprised I liked this more than I thought I would — and I actually found it to have rewatch value. Sonam Kapoor does excel in playing ditzy girls although she really isn't much of an MPDG.

  Aw, the good ol' days of no-kiss Bollywood films ...

• Players

  Yeah ... no.

  I was still in Welly when this was shot (C and I actually saw part of the shooting at Jervois Quay/Civic Square area although I don't think I saw any actors, just the Mini Coopers). The film was dumbass-shitty, but the shots of NZ — specifically those of Welly — brought back memories. NZ will always be one of my first-loves (there are many types of first-loves: pole is my first-love aerial-type activity and NZ is my first-love country).

• Fox

  The story sounded promising. The movie was shit.

  Maybe it would've been better had they cast better leads than Sunny Deol and Arjun Rampal ... and can the goddamn song-and-dance routines.

• War Chhod Na Yaar

  HINDI CINEMA NEEDS TO COME UP WITH MORE SATIRES LIKE THIS (although with less slapstick, thank you very much). I love love love the song fights and the affectionate bickering between the Indian and Pakistani camps. We're all just human, after all — why can't we just all get along?

  (Because money. Yeah, I know.)

• Bajatey Raho

  This one's okay, but Khosla Ka Ghosla was so much better. If I'd known, I'd have rewatched Khosla rather than watched this cuz the plot is almost exactly the same.

• Mickey Virus

  I've still yet to watch a decent hacking-type movie. It seems like movies don't do computer/hacking well. Everything looks so dumb.

  Also, Manish Paul looked too old to play the Mickey character. That said, I would like to see him in more comedies in the future.

• Piku

  Have I mentioned how much I adore Irrfan Khan? <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

  And Deepika in a non-romcom role is always a win (see: Finding Fanny). Girl, give up those lousy movies and do more awesome films like these! And, for once, I actually liked AB Sr. in a movie (never was a fan).

  I watched this as I was eating lunch — I didn't know better. I do now ...

• Tanu Weds Manu Returns

  Well, I didn't finish watching this. Couldn't bear to. I didn't want to see Tanu mope over losing Manu. Girl should've hooked up with Kusum (or Raja). I really don't get Manu's appeal. He's not a very likable or attractive character. I'd rather Raja have more screen time.

  Can someone cast Jimmy and Kangana as leads (opposite each other) in a decent film, please? Does the Saheb need a third wife, maybe?

Motivation

Well, it's been ... awhile. A long while, to be sure. I left my job, had lovely gifts and a send-off from my colleagues, and have been bumming ever since and it got a little dark ... too dark for me to handle.

But I think the dark clouds have passed — at least for now. I've been riding this wave of can-do spirit this week and I hope it doesn't peter out too soon.

The last time I'd been despondent (though maybe not as desperately as the past few weeks) was when my thyroid condition left me incapable of doing the activities I love and I just gave up.

Then, one night, I happened to catch just this bit of Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted on telly/cable:

Katy Perry's empowering lyrics, the visuals — but especially Alex and Gia, and Marty and Stefano, flying through hoops, etc. — suddenly motivated me to stop moping, get off my ass, and start working to get back to where I was. (It was a long process: I started aerial yoga without even being able to do the easiest things; it was just really horrible. I'm stronger now, controlling the thyroid condition with meds, training under a great aerial yoga instructor, and thinking of getting back into aerial arts, starting with the hammock and/or lyra.)

The other things in my life ... well, I hope what I've been doing this week is the first step to getting back on track. I just need to find more aural and/or video motivation.

Addendum: I can't believe I forgot to add that meeting with Ola on Sunday, soaking up her optimism and listening to her fresh (and positive) perspectives, was prolly the gust that blew the dark clouds away.

Multiply (In A Minor Key)

My guess: The almost-full moon, my period, and physically, emotionally, and psychically stressed and exhausted. So it's a 'Multiply' kinda day — that one with a soundtrack composed of 'Addict', 'Hurt', 'Multiply (In A Minor Key)' and X-Japan ballads.

Of course I did what I always do — shut down, went offline, and did a bit of therapeutic cutting.

It's the simple roll box which I got from Paul Jackson's Folding Techniques for Designers: From Sheet to Form to which I added random patterns I cut into the long-side panels. It looks okay, but I think the patterns should be planned next time so the two sides that each has two layers would look nicer.

I think for Hazel's gift I might do a shadow box/frame with different folds on which patterns are cut. White on white on white maybe.

As I was folding and unfolding, cutting, and refolding, I watched (casually, meaning with an ear open but without really watching the screen) Bobby Jasoos. I do like this movie but it's mainly because of Vidya; Ali Faizal did fuck-all and didn't look very compatible to Vidya. The story was interesting enough but the denouement was a bit of a letdown.

I also finished Bol Bachchan — oh lord why had I even started on this in the first place?! It's Rohit Shetty, ffs. Argh, why don't I ever learn???

It's ridiculous to feel so bloody fragile and sensitive that every little thing seems to matter and bruise the soul so much.

So tired, so tired, so tired, so tired ...

May Day

So this holiday, the only Hindi the free-to-air channel showed was Highway. Oh my god, YES. I finally watched it.

It. Was. FANTASTIC. Alia was a revelation and Randeep Hooda did a great job.

I cried when Veera's dream shattered; I cried when she broke down. I've always wondered what other people would do when this happened — when you managed to touch or experience or even just catch a glimpse of something so beautiful it's soul-stirring and changes you and your world, then it's gone ... because it was only a dream from which you have awaken. Something forever beyond you.

I thought Veera would try to kill herself, which I'd thought would be kinda 'happy', but the actual ending was actually better and even optimistic.

Anyway. WILL BUY DVD SOON!

Off-In-Lieu

Left work at 14.00 to drop something off with a friend who's leaving for an overseas trip then went home in time to avoid being caught in the torrential and awfully scary thunder-storm.

Anyway, came home, ate, and finished watching Ankur Arora Murder Case — which was very sadly disappointing. And where do I start?

For one thing, the songs really detracts from the narrative tension. Also, the little detour with the public prosecutor and defense lawyer was totally unnecessary. I think it could've been a taut courtroom drama/thriller by itself; instead, the trial (as well as the twist/denouement which both could've been a little more fleshed out) was given short shrift in favor of an extramarital affair that led to an unwanted pregnancy which resulted in an abortion/miscarriage/accidental suicide.

I guess the disappointment arose from my expectation that this movie would be as good as Rahasya (which incidentally also featured Kay Kay Menon and Tisca Chopra in major roles).

Anyway, what's next — should I continue with the gritty-type movies or take a break with some fluffy romance? Or maybe something middle-of-the-road, like Filmistaan or Sankat City or Antardwand ...?

Goes Away In The End

It's just one of those days, I guess.

Maybe it started with the news of the Nepal quake, which I'd read about before I even got out of bed. Then at aerial yoga, a classmate from India was quite indignant that not many people seemed to care — because, Nepal is a country that, as she said, is "not important".

So after cooking this week's lunch, I looked for a show that would indulge this downward spiral and settled on That Girl in Yellow Boots, figuring if an Anurag Kashyap movie couldn't make you utterly depressed, prolly nothing else would.

I actually like this movie a lot. The actors were all fantastic, but Kalki — she was the light in the murky shadows of the movie. And, I thought, she had never looked more beautiful than she did in the lift scene (back to the massage parlor after realizing who the father she had been looking for was) — pale and completely broken.

The sequence in the streets during which Prashant was looking to kill Ruth's father reminded me a lot of Chungking Express. It's not Christopher Doyle's signature frenetic style, but the streets and the crowds and the futile searching all came together in a way that was reminiscent of Takeshi Kaneshiro's chase and his (later) futile search.

I didn't really get the connection between the cult/god-men-pedophilia thing that Wiki mentioned, mainly because I think Arjun/Benjamin Patel was said to have been told to leave the ashram. Also, was Rajat Kapoor's cameo meant to be a red herring? If not, then it's a really weird and short cameo.

Anyway.

Nine Inch Nail's 'Hurt' makes my skin tingle. I guess it's a feeling, a — not need — want, that never really goes away but just hides right beneath the skin, waiting to bead, bubble, and surface with a scratch.

Or something.

I've always thought Maximilian Hecker's 'Rose' was the song to slowly bleed into oblivion to.

Day 2 of 2

What I watched today:

• Listen Amaya
  Watched this because Auntie Al's client/friend recommended it and because I saw a trailer of it and thought it could be interesting, but mostly because DEEPTI NAVAL.
  So ... it was a decent show. Made me cry a couple of times and Amaya really pissed me off. Don't talk about giving her a slap for her insolence and selfishness, fucking smack her already.
  Also, few times everybody burst into song and dance (especially right at the start of the film) were jarring and — I thought — completely unnecessary.
  This is gonna be a show I'd recommend but would personally never watch again. Because fucking Alzheimer. =...(
• Badlapur
  It took me over an hour after Listen Amaya ended to decide on Badlapur. I'd actually started on Raqeeb but the non-chemistry between Sharman Joshi and Rahul Khanna was too awkward for me. Anyway, Badlapur (does it mean "Change-ville"?).
  I'd been looking forward to watching this but having watched it, I'm a little pissed off by it. Nawaz was great as usual — I think he does the slightly sociopathic pothead well — but he didn't make the movie any less bitter.
  I did not understand Dhawan's character. Raghu should've been a more sympathetic character — he never was (this is not to say Dhawan didn't do a good job in this role; he definitely did ... and without dancing until the end titles were rolling!). I hated that he targeted and used women — raped Jhilmil; murdered Kanchan; humiliated nearly every female character who didn't have the decency to die within the first 15 minutes of the film.
  Not. Okay.
  Can't recommend this to anybody without prefacing it with TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL AND VIOLENT ASSAULT ON WOMEN.
• Billu
  It was either this or Ankur Arora Murder Case; since I'd just seen Kay Kay Menon in a non-villainous role, I thought I'd leave off a movie in which he, again, played a horrible person. Therefore: Billu.
  I think it could've been a much better film had they used someone else other than the King Khan. That said, I do get that SRK was a great fit. I just hate it when he does maudlinness (see: tearful speech at the school function). GAAAH.
  Irrfan Khan was utterly, utterly heartrending as the simple, decent Billu. When he doesn't play a villain, he always make me laugh and/or feel so, so, so sorry for him.
  Lara Dutta is the most glam woman in the whole village despite being perhaps the poorest. That woman isn't made for the village girl roles, I think. I mean, she did a better job than I'd expected in Billu; she maybe should stick more urbane roles.

And back to work tomorrow ... =( On the plus side, I'll prolly spend my day in the office feeling a little high from my cough and flu meds.

Day 1 Of 2

Managed three movies today:

• Zodiac
  This one is good. I found it a little too long but totally worth it. I would've rewatched it if not for its runtime of over two and a half hours.
  I get the obsession and it's such a horrible compulsion, but — boy oh boy — the thrill of the (paper/info) chase. YES.
• Holiday: A Soldier Is Never Off Duty
  After a great film such as Zodiac, I found myself in the mood for other similar movies but less ... heavy. So I decided on Holiday.
  I actually found this one enjoyable (despite the lousy role they gave Sonakshi, not to mention her pairing with another dude old enough to be her father) and I think it has a high rewatch value. In fact, I may even like this more than Baby.
  I like to think of Holiday as the desi Taken because there was a scene in which Akshay and the other pretty face actually had a telephone conversation along the line of "I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you". Off the top of my head, there are only two Hindi film actors I can think of who should play Liam Neeson's role in the inevitable Hindi "remake" of the Taken series: Sunny Deol and hamara ek number Khiladi.
  While I found the song-and-dance sequences a pain in the ass and totally disruptive of the flow and tension of the movie, I do appreciate the brief romantic interludes (even if they featured Chi Chi — cheeeee) because they helped cut some of the tension, but what in the fucking hell were Sonakshi's screen parents thinking, matchmaking their college-aged daughter with such old men?!
  Sonakshi's role seemed to have been shoehorned in just for comic relief. Couldn't the scriptwriter just find a non-romantic comic element (which I thought the Mukund character was meant to be)?
• Rahasya
  Continuing my unusual streak of decent movies was Rahasya. GREAT WHODUNIT!!! I'm not sure I have seen a (more or less) taut murder mystery in recent years. I wonder if the Hindi film industry has produced more such movies in recent years?
  This is also the first (I think) movie I've seen in which Kay Kay Menon didn't play a villainous role. His CBI Officer Paraskar is right up there with Nawaz's Khan (Kahaani) and Ronit Roy's Bose (Ugly). If Sushant Singh Rajput's Detective Byomkesh Bakshy is in the same vein, I'm pretty sure I will like the movie as much as I've been looking forward to watching it.
  God, I hope there's a list of great detective roles in contemporary Hindi cinema that I can use to guide my movie selection. The best detectives are usually eccentric, intense, and offbeat (yes, apparently my preference is heavily colored by RDJ's and Cumberbatch's takes on Sherlock Holmes).

More on day two? We'll see.

Sleepless Week

Yeah, that was last week. It was hard fall asleep immediately upon hitting sack, so I ended up doing little exercises and/or watching YouTube clips till 1 am. That horrible sleeping hour coupled with the time I had to wake (06.30) meant I was just tired all the time when I wasn't totally jacked up on caffeine.

So, not only did I not finish my readings for yesterday, I watched zero movies. However, I did manage to make it to aerial gym on Wednesday night with a couple of girls I got to know through aerial yoga, and saw many familiar faces (and got back on the lyra!) at aerial gym.

After discussion yesterday, we had dinner together again, and drinks again. I do like these outings with the QUILTBAG group. It didn't even occur to me to feel out of place until Auntie Al mentioned and asked me about it. True, I know nothing about and have never been involved in the LGBTQ scene here, but that is why this QUILTBAG discussion group is such an educational and illuminating experience for me.

I have to admit, too, having read the readings given to us I feel inflamed with desire — a need, even — to do something. To give back, from the privileged position in which I have begun to realize I stand.

Then, as I was walking my dog earlier tonight, I thought about the brainwave one of familiar faces at aerial gym had: How about we combine a space for cirque practique with a small kitchen service (that includes wine/alcohol)?

YES. To expand PH's idea further: Obviously, nobody should get up on an appartus when they're less than sober, so we can either restrict entry to the apparatus area once alcohol is being served; or, we install door bitches at the apparatus area. I know the people who go to the dance/yoga studios I'd gone to are all middle-class (and above) — or at least have disposable income. I would like to have these people direct their money to worthy (local) causes while they enjoy themselves. Also, the F&B area will have to source locally, if not from fair-trade imports.

The fact is, among all these lovely people I meet at the studios are people who can cook and bake (one of them even does it professionally), and are artistically inclined. We could beg for their help or hire them.

The only question is: How sustainable is this? My cynical and pessimistic side says: NOT AT ALL. With space at a premium and rent sky-high, unless there are angel investors and someone with good business sense at the helm, and a lot of hard work and long hours, this is but a pipe-dream.

Anyway. I felt the need to watch a silly Hindi film today to avoid feeling overwhelmed by my thoughts and emotions, so I watched Doli Ki Doli ... which was perfect because this movie was underwhelming.

There is no real tension, no real story, and there isn't even a character to root for. The blasé ending could've been ameliorated had Robin Singh not burned the damn 'looteri dulhan' file.

I mean, as Dolly herself pointed out, they do what they do because they're good at it. A better ending, therefore, would've been Robin smiling to himself as he reopens the 'looteri dulhan' file and continues his cat-and-mouse game with Dolly and her gang. Robin and Dolly could've met every so often when he catches up to her.

Anyway. it's an "AK" production so I guess I couldn't expect too much from this film ...

Only Three

Two Saturdays in a row now that I've gone out to dinner and some socialization with the group post discussion, which means fewer movies watched. Not that I rue the time spent not watching movies.

I borrowed four DVDs on Thursdays but only managed to watch two, and watched a Hindi film today. So the three:

• Collateral
  Uh ... watchable, I guess. A bit of the letdown in the denouement. I don't understand Tom Cruise's character at all. I prolly would watch it again if it were playing on FX or some other cable channel, but not otherwise.
• The Hundred-Foot Journey
  Was hoping for a sweet and gentle film in the vein of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but nope. It's watchable enough. Inexplicably, I found Manish Dayal to be Julian Cheung's Indian doppelgänger — no idea why. It's food porn plus the delectable Helen Mirren and yet ... I found the movie insipid.
  I thought the bit after Hassan left for Paris was too rushed and not well fleshed out. Actually, maybe the movie should just focus on Le Saule Pleureur's and Maison Mumbai's rivalry, the xenophobia and racism (which resolves in two interracial relationships, yay), and the harmonization of cultures and cuisines.
  Also: Why did Om Puri play Juhi Chawla's husband?! He's too fucking old. Holy shit, I'd thought she was playing his daughter and that Hassan and his siblings were "Papa's" grandkids. Another also: I thought Juhi Chawla looked terrible and totally blame the lighting and cameramen and whatnot. How could they conspire to make her less than her radiant self?!
  And, goodness, the entire family must've been so traumatized to suffer through two major attacks by fire. Like, holy shit, that's horrible but they all seemed so very well-adjusted? I don't know ...
• Baby
  I didn't like this as much as I thought I would — and, in fact, found much of the tension in the film really contrived.
  If Special 26 was Neeraj Pandey's take on an Ocean's Eleven-esque heist, then Baby was his take on the political-ish thriller, Argo. That's just my uneducated opinion though. Baby apparently had great reviews ...
  Okay, but I must say there were plus points. One, Priya (Taapsee Pannu) could kick ass and take down Wasim Khan without resorting to below-the-belt hits (which I was screaming for her to do during that fight scene). I actually screeched, "Kick him in the balls! I don't know whether Neeraj Pandey is feminist enough to not kill you off as collateral damage!!!"
  So Priya is actually one level up from Constable Shanti (Divya Dutta) in 26 since Priya had something to do other than mouth throwaway lines. (Sadly, apparently the women who play Akshay Kumar's significant other in Baby and 26 are more or less as insignificant in one movie as in the other.)
  Second plus: Akshay Kumar shirtless! Can Kumar and Ronit Roy both be shirtless in the same scene in the next movie, pretty please? Needless to say, their inks should be allowed to show!

Okay, must hunker down to finish my reading AND finish watching the other two DvDs I borrowed by the end of this week.

A First

So after the weekly discussion, some of us head off for dinner and, later, decide to have drinks too.

One in the dinner group brought us to this tiny drinking hole with live music and strong drinks (which were stronger thanks to personal connections with connections with said drinking hole's servers and owner, I think). Which led to my first experience of a beautiful combination of alcohol, live music, and the sharing of poetry.

I think it was amazing. I read their works and I thought they were good. I shared one of mine (but I was embarrassed — almost ashamed — at how poor mine was in comparison).

Still, it made me wish I still scribble.

And what a gorgeous moment that was.

Good Friday

Three and a half movies on Good Friday:

• The Italian Job
  Pretty decent, I thought, and great that the romance didn't come in until after the heist at the end and therefore didn't interfere with the narrative. It was a little clichéd but overall an okay movie during which your brain can switch off — and it has decent rewatch value as well.
• Prisoners
  Wow. This one ... I have no words for. I read its Wiki page and knew the whole story before borrowing and watching the show, but lord was it still so unrelenting. I felt so tired and drained watching it — besides Grace Dover's pills-induced uneasy rest, did no character ever sleep in the movie? Also, I must say Gyllenhaal was really great in this — he seemed like a completely different person with his facial tics and mannerisms. I felt really sorry for Alex Jones though and would've liked for his story to be shown to end a little happier.
  I'm sure there's a philosophical term for how the Nancy Birch rationalized her and her husband's not stopping Dover's torture of Alex Jones. Like, we're not the ones inflicting the torture; we're just not stopping Dover from doing what he wishes to do. Maybe it's like the Trolley Problem?
• The Prestige
  I just gotta put it out there: I think this is quite a pointless movie. Just two magicians one-upping each other at deadlier and deadlier costs. As Roxanne Ritchi puts it so very perfectly:
  
  Also, I watched the "Coffee and Cream" episode in Franklin and Bash (which is based on this movie, I guess?) before I ever saw Prestige so I wasn't impressed by any intended twist in the film.

I also started watching Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi but, however much I like Boman Irani, he couldn't make up for Farah Khan. So ... no. I don't think I'll finish watching this.

And I think Farah Khan should stick to choreography. Like her brother, the infamous Sajid Khan, she should stop directing (and script-writing also in her case) movies that aren't positive additions to the Hindi film industry.

Three

Just three today:

• Ek Chalis Ki Last Local
  Watched to see why it's considered a cult classic. Well, I thought it was a decent movie which reminded me of The Film Emotional Atyachar — in very basic premise of found money, a sorta femme fatale (Kalki in Emotional and Neha Dhupia in Last Local), how everything changes dramatically in a short span of time, lotsa deaths about which I didn't give a fuck, and Snehal Dabi who appeared in both movies.
  
  This movie the first thing I've seen Abhay Deol in and he was decent. I should try to find a comedy he's done because, for whatever reason, Zindagi Na Milege Dobara isn't something that interests me in the least.
  
  Nawaz was woefully under-used in this. GIVE HIM MORE IMPORTANT ROLES DAMNIT.
  
• Game
  I felt Game had so much potential to be a great thriller: Strangers brought together by a mysterious figure who knew what each of them did last summer (sorta). So much potential ... therefore so much disappointment.
  
  Someone — perhaps the scriptwriter — tried really hard to be clever and it showed. Yes, the movie showed how hard they tried to be smart but ended up being so dumb.
  
  Look, I'm the least critical of movie-watchers. I watch movies to switch my brain off, but Game was ... lord.
  
  First off, I don't know what kinda police Kangana Ranaut is supposed to be but even I figured the 'deceased' was left-handed when she was poking around his drawers. Secondly, really? Your field officers didn't have the stamina to outrun a 'civilian'? WTF? Thirdly, did it have to take the dicks that long to figure out Samara could potentially be the murderer?
  
  Also, you can't base a major red herring in your movie purely on coincidence. There's no way Samara could be certain there'd be someone who not only woke early but also was located conveniently outside of the 'murder' scene to provide her with an alibi. Also, how could a seasoned supercop like AB Jr's character not feel a pulse on the 'corpse' who was very much alive?
  
  Anyway. Whatever.
  
  The cast was stellar though, again, sadly mis- and/or under-used. Jimmy Shergill, Kangana, AB Jr., Bomani Irani, Anupam Kher — all very fine actors in this unworthy film. Sigh.
  
• Tevar
  I guess it helps having very low (to nil) expectations prior to watching this movie. I didn't hold it to high expections and understood it to be a masala flick on par with a very mediocre Akshay Kumar action-comedy. So I guess I wasn't disappointed at all.
  
  Only reason I wanted to watch Tevar was that it looked sorta interesting from the 'Joganiyan' video clip.
  
  That said, it's not like I don't have complaints about the movie.
  
  If I had to choose only one thing to complain about, it would be the Radhika character. Every time she appeared in a scene, I'd be like, oh for fuck's sakes, girl because this character did nothing but throw moon eyes in Pintu's way. GAH I wanted to shake her.
  
  This is the first time I've watched Sonakshi Sinha in a sorta lead role but girl needs to quit the moony damsel in distress roles, like STAT. I wish she plays characters more like what she seems to be like in real life — someone who doesn't suffer fools gladly and is assertive.
  
  The end of Tevar was very similar to Chennai Express I thought (similarly ridiculous).

A few of us had dinner together again after the QUILTBAG discussion yesterday. Someone opened a can of worms asking (those present after dinner) if we'd consider dating anybody in the discussion group. A big and immediate NO from me cuz I'm so much older than so many of them but also because ... ugh. It really makes me uncomfortable to even think about such a thing because I like the idea of this discussion group being a purely intellectual and platonic one — in other words, a 'safe' space.

I mean, nothing against the other girls who are open to this; I personally don't like to think that there might be some girls 'fishing' for potential partners in this group because ... I'm neurotic and have issues (mostly about the miasma of the concept of a 'meat market' which may trigger my social anxiety).

But, two girls (old friends) apparently like the same girl in the group so ... hm. I am a wee bit curious and would like to live vicariously through their infatuation! I don't think I'll ever crush on somebody I know personally.

Unplanned Day Off

I applied for urgent leave for today because my dad was unwell and I wanted to accompany him to the doctor's. (On a side note: GPs would've been useless if not for the fact that they dispense the necessary medical certificates required for medical leave.)

Well, the doctor's only took a few hours in the morning so I had the rest of the day sorta free. Spent most of it working on gamifying my online workshop, which was tough because I lacked the coding know-how and am using an idiot-proof web-hhosting service (i.e. just a lot of moving widgets around and WYSIWYG).

In the background though, as I was creating my workshop, I played two of the three DVDs I borrowed from work — Transcendence and Gravity.

Okay, I'll cop to not paying too much attention to Transcendence but, fuck, if my work was more interesting than your movie, you have a problem.

Transcendence was ... dumb. Sorry. Even Johnny Depp couldn't save this movie's sorry ass. It serves me right for not reading the 'Critical reception' on the movie's Wikipedia page before borrowing the DVD.

Gravity was, of course, waaaaayyy better. It was so good that it made me feel uneasily claustrophobic while simultaneously agoraphobic. Drifting in space into certain death is actually on my list of ways in which I hope not to die.

Having not read the synopsis before borrowing the DVD, I was disappointed that it wasn't as science fiction-y as I thought it would be. I found it a straight-up drama of one woman's journey into hope and a second go at living.

Followed the two English movies with Hindi ones — Hasee Toh Phasee and Krazzy 4.

Oh wow was I ever conflicted by Hasee's opening titles. The opening hums of 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' made me assume it was gonna be a shit film (because KJo and Dharma Productions), but then it was followed by ... Phantom Films which, in my books, produces great films.

What was I supposed to think?!

I actually have watched part of Hasee before but not its beginning. As it turned out, I did like the movie. Siddharth Malhotra was better in this than he was in SOTY and Ek Villain. Also, he played his character in such a way that really complemented Pari's character. Great chemistry, these two!

Krazzy, I'd thought, would be on par with Sunday — if not worse.

But NO. (Thank you Goddess!) Krazzy was so much better than I'd expected! Irrfan in a comic role — this fact alone would've made the movie FUCKING AWESOME.

Arshad Warsi also seems to share good chemistry with Irrfan so fingers crossed they collaborate in more projects.

Closing titles hinted at a sequel which I can't wait to watch if that project is a-go. What would it be called though — Krazzy 4x2?? LOL.

Weekend Roundup

Watched Ugly today after aerial yoga. Holy god, that movie is DARK (and human beings are just all sorts of fucked up). I kept stopping the movie and switching over to more lighthearted video clips, just because I felt a little suffocated.

I'm now reconsidering my to-watch list of past and future Kashyap-written and directed movies, which includes That Girl In Yellow Boots, the Wasseypur epic, and Bombay Velvet. Will I be able to handle them, or am I just a big wuss?

Like, literally almost nobody gave a fuck about Kali in Ugly. Bose's the closest to someone who gave a fuck, but his pathological need for control might be the driver of his perseverance in searching for Kali. Everybody looks out only for themselves — fuck everybody else.

I mean, I think it's a great film ... But I think there's a part of me that wished I didn't watch it. So much ugliness. Ugly is truly ugly, a horrible horror-house mirror for humankind.

I prolly need a brain cleanse.

And, hot damn is Ronit Roy's police uniform ever tight. Just like the one he wore in Boss. Just ... an observation.

Other stuff I watched between last Monday and today:

• The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions
• Ever After
  Finally! Hey, I actually like this more than I thought I would, and this is after factoring my adoration of Drew Barrymore. And I actually couldn't recognize Riff Raff!
  The 90s seem like a life ago — it was a very different life for me back then — so I'm quite impressed by how feminist I found it in my first ever viewing of this movie.
  What was a very pleasant wake-up call for me was when Danielle was sold to Riff Raff (I forgot what he's called in this movie) and I was like, oh NO, I hope the prince saves her in time! ... only to find that Danielle had the situation perfectly under control, fuck you very much, and didn't need saving. Seeing that, I was like, d'oh, WHY THE FUCK did I ever think she needed saving when she was the one who saved his sorry privileged ass??, and was totally surprised then mad at myself.
  And I think this movie passes the Bechdel Test too — even though it's really short, I really liked the scene in which Jacqueline tended to Danielle and expressed her sympathy and empathy to Danielle.
• Amit Sahni Ki List
  Thank goodness for my finding this movie as a cleanser for having watched Ugly. It's been on my to-watch list and I found it kinda sweet even though, with nearly all rom-coms, certain tropes tend to be rehashed to death.
  So in this we have the Indian Dharma and Greg because every dull investment banker needs an MPDG to show him how awesome life can be if only he starts living. (To be fair to the movie, Mala is totally my dream girl and I'm not even an investment banker.)
  And, HELLO, there are helluva stunning girls in this movie — Amit Sahni is one lucky bitch.
  I wish the best friend — sadly not employed under the gay best friend trope — had more scenes though.

Five movies again and I again managed to finish my reading for this week's QUILTBAG discussion. Lord, I need to spend less time watching movies. I certainly do not need to push myself to break this little 'record'.

The Tofu of Metaphors and Analogies

Finally finished The Matrix trilogy this week. Prior to borrowing the second and third installments, I was discussing my viewing of The Matrix with Debby and she told me I should just stop watching right here — the other two in the trilogy aren't quite worth watching.

As I was watching The Matrix Reloaded, I realized I prolly should've listened to Debby. I found Reloaded too bloated with needless scenes. Like the needlessly extended fight scenes (although it finally occurred to me who the style of fighting reminded me of — Jet Li in the Once Upon A Time In China series), or the expositions which were needlessly verbose (without telling me shit).

And the Architect. Holy shit, dude, I need to transcribe and parse what you're saying. With a dictionary. I found a transcription of the scene and reading it is actually easier than listening to it.

Is it weird that I actually prefer The Matrix Revolutions? If Reloaded is a whole load of bean-plating and exposition (and, imo, pseudo-intellectual and pseudo-philosophical wankery), then Revolutions is almost its opposite, to the extent that Revolutions appears to be a straightforward action flick.

Also, I found myself thinking about horcruxes and Harry's relationship with Voldemort in relation to Agent Smith, his clones, and his relationship with Neo. If the relationship is simplified to good versus evil, then both must live, no? You can't have one without the other, but is it not impossible to have neither?

Since Neo destroyed Agent Smith (and clones) by allowing himself to be destroyed, there must be, for at least a short moment, in the rebooted Matrix, in which there exists neither 'good' (personified by the One) nor 'evil' (personified by AI programs, i.e. the Agents) in the perspective of the people of Zion?

Anyway. In Debby's and my chat, we both agreed that we would prolly want to be back in the Matrix for the lovely taste of a steak. For me, Reloaded and Revolutions recall The Four Quartets. 'East Coker' begins with: "In my beginning is my end", and ends with: "In my end is my beginning" — which is pretty much repeated incessantly in Reloaded. The Matrix itself more or less boils down to: "human kind / Cannot bear very much reality" (imo).

I'mma take a moment here to mention Persephone (i.e. Monica Belluci). I feel like she seems to serve no real purpose other than to provide eye-candy by way of a beautiful face, an awesomely proportioned female form, and glorious, glorious breasts and cleavage.

Random thoughts while watching the trilogy:

• I don't like Morpheus: I think he's two white rabbits away from becoming the deranged and delirious street-corner preacher.
• Ignore the sartorial/costume choices. Ignore the sartorial/costume choices. Ignore the sartorial/costume choices ...
• Man, did the creepy crawly sentinels provide "inspiration" for the mimics and alphas of Edge of Tomorrow?
• The Matrix trilogy is totally the tofu of metaphors and analogies. Really, you can flavor it (with any context) any way you desire but not everybody is gonna like it. Because tofu. (And texture and consistency.)
• The Nebuchadnezzar reminds me of Serenity and every appearance of Gina Torres makes me scream (internally), "ZOEEEEEEE ZOEEEEE ZOEEEE ZOEEEEE ZOEEEEEEEEEEE ...!!!"
• I miss Firefly. =( The Nebuchadnezzar needs someone who will happily exclaim, "Shiny!"

Ding Dong Rakshasa Mar Gaya

I was gonna shut it from the mountain tops — DING DONG DING DONG vah mar gaya aur ab asha aayegi! — but since I'm playing The Matrix in the background and scanning through scholarly articles that touch on the movie (or the trilogy), I realized a couple of things:

1. I may think of him as an evil little shit but to so many others he wasn't and still isn't one. If you were 'born' and 'live' in the Matrix, telling you something else about your perception of reality isn't going to change your mind. And that's fine — some people are genuinely happier not ever knowing — but it's better to slowly and gently educated those than force them to look at something before they are ready to.
2. There's really no fucking point in remaining even a little angry at something dead, even if it had been an evil little shit while alive. My energy and resources are much better diverted to something more positive and productive. And instead of complaining of the mess and stink the evil little shit left behind for all the living to clean up, why not do something to make it better for everyone else in this swamp?
3. A lot of me runs on anger but, while anger has served me well and fueled certain passions and drive, it's now consuming me. And it's not healthy — not to mention helluva counterproductive. I must learn to ... ♫ let it go, let it go. ♫ (Haha.)

And, with this, I must focus on the lovely things.

Like, how I've taken a day off today (and how my day started with news that brought about hope).

Like, how I've finally collected my certificate in Visual Communication and spent almost two hours at the book sale held by the library at that art school. (I bought over a dozen items, mostly for my senior librarian, but a couple for myself too.)

Well, I didn't manage to make it to Mustafa to look at Hindi DVDs (those book sale items were heavy) but I guess that's how I managed to be thrifty this week. Anyway, I'm not sure I'm mentally ready to watch Ugly just yet ...