The sound of you sleeping

Mephisto took off for home early today because he wasn't feeling well. Somehow, I do worry about him - the fact that he lives alone and might have an unhealthy lifestyle and diet.

I also worry that I worry because I feel sorry for him because he's lives alone - and I don't wanna do that; I don't think I should.

Ocho - 'Ay Que Frio'

Album: Ocho I



I woke up feeling like yesterday's stale milktoast, but after a salsa class and a pole practice session, I'm feeling nearly 100% (except for the aching back and the heavy, heavy eyes). The miracle of dance!

Goddess knows though, in the morning I'm gonna wake up feeling worse than I did today.

Everything is so stuffed up I feel like my head's about to explode. Literally.

Nose is stuffed (and dripping), ears are stuffed (no dripping - small blessing), throat's almost filled with post-nasal drip.

Really, any time now, my eyeballs are gonna get shot out across the room and bounce off the wall and onto the floor - very much like the bluetooth mouse Mephisto flung across his office in a tantrum last week.

Tom Waits - 'Little Drop of Poison'

Album: Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers And Bastards



There's gonna be a pole dance competition at the end of the year and the girls are a-titter with anticipation (I think). I know XY and Kim are planning to enter (prolly both in the solo and group categories), and Kim (being Kim) has picked wonderfully whimsical pieces of music such as this one, and The Dresden Dolls' 'Coin-Operated Boy'. I think theirs could be a lovely performance with costumes and make-up.

Maybe I should consider joining ... I'll prolly pick a trip-hop track or something like Bitter:Sweet's 'Dirty Laundry'.

But I'm not a performer, and I know it.

This is what I read you tonight:

For the Courtesan Ch'ing Lin

On your slender body
Your jade and coral girdle ornaments chime
Like those of a celestial companion
Come from the Green Jade City of Heaven.
One smile from you when we meet,
And I become speechless and forget every word.
For too long you have gathered flowers,
And leaned against the bamboos,
Your green sleeves growing cold,
In your deserted valley:
I can visualize you all alone,
A girl harboring her cryptic thoughts.

You glow like a perfumed lamp
In the gathering shadows.
We play wine games
And recite each other's poems.
Then you sing `Remembering South of the River'
With its heart breaking verses. Then
We paint each other's beautiful eyebrows.
I want to possess you completely -
Your jade body
And your promised heart.
It is Spring.
Vast mists cover the Five Lakes.
My dear, let me buy a red painted boat
And carry you away.



Wu Tsao
(Translated by Kenneth Rexroth and Ling Chung)

The sound of you sleeping

Tired out by a good class and practice session.

Archipelagos and peninsulas and islands of bruises. And burns.

The sound of you sleeping

Been having too many thoughts.

Dance - especially pole - makes for a damn good distraction.

The sound of you sleeping

The ulcer on the right side of my tongue is killing me. And there's something swollen on the same side of my neck, below the jaw. And I was caught in a drizzle walking Doggie earlier this evening.

Prolly should hit the sack soon (now) and hope everything's all right when I wake up tomorrow.

Sigh.

Yay! Instructions!

However did that elude me till now?

Read a poetry thread on Monkeyfilter, found some new poems, read some old, old ones in my portable hdd.

I do like Bukowski.

the sun
itself
knows
the sad truth of
how we surrendered
our lives
and deaths
to simple
ritual,
useless
craven
ritual,
and then
slinking away
from the face of
glory,
turning our dreams into
dung,
how we said
no, no, no, no,
to the most beautiful
YES
ever uttered:

life
itself.



Bukowski, Charles. "misbegotten paradise." Sifting through the Madness for the Word, the Line, the Way: New Poems. John Martin, ed. New York: Ecco, 2003.

The sound of you sleeping

Talking to you made me feel better.

The sound of you sleeping

I think I have much to think about.

Also ... I've been itching to dance. And I mean dance.

There might be a correlation - or not; I don't know.

Wonderful night - dinner at epicurious (definitely going back for their desserts which I didn't try tonight - I only had a salad and a burger) followed by drinks at eM By The River. Then a longish walk to the spitting merlion because Jaya wanted photos. So great to be seeing Jaya after - what, four years?

I'm whacked. Off to bed with you in my ear.

The sound of you sleeping

Mephisto asked - very plainly, very candidly (finally, I think) - why I still "flinch" and "frown a lot" when talking to him when all he's done since the very beginning is trying to make me relax around him.

I thought about that a little while walking Doggie, only a little because the answer came surprisingly fast: He is being too nice to me ... And that leaves me wondering when the other shoe will fall.

Also, it makes me feel worse for wanting to leave.

The sound of you sleeping

As he signed the documents I'd passed him, Mephisto looked up over the top of his glasses at me and asked, "Are you okay?"

Usually, when he comes back from a trip, he'll ask how I'm doing, and, as you would to any stranger/acquaintance who inquired, I always say, "I'm doing okay."

But today's "Are you okay?" - I'm not sure whether it's the question or his tone - it's a little hard to explain why I felt, at that moment (tired, achey, and dizzy), that was prolly the sweetest thing he's ever said to me.

Salsa class was super long today, but made it on time for pole prac; now, I'm achey everywhere.

And tired.

I feel like playing hooky tomorrow ... But I can't.

Man, it sucks being an adult.

=(

The sound of you sleeping

Have I ever mentioned how much I like listening to you sleep?

No?

It makes me smile - even as I fall asleep.

=)

The sound of you sleeping

I removed Anna.

My body was rejecting the piercing - as it usually does, sooner or later.

Now, I don't think I have the same capacity as before to get a new piercing. The piercings had assauged a different wound, a different pain than what I'd feel now, if I hurt.

The sound of you sleeping

Am thinking of Anna out.

Maybe it's about time ...

I'm so tired but I refused to sleep because ... I'm watching House.

Reiteration: Telly is EVIL.

Finally - the weekend, Saturday.

Bone tired ... I hope I get to sleep 'til early afternoon.

Belle & Sebastian - 'You Made Me Forget My Dreams'

Album: Push Barman To Open Old Wounds



I have remembered me.

Yes, I'd first started hankering after the Eee PC last year when it came out; then I'd held out for the 12gb when I'd read about it rather than get the 8gb model (which was unavailable at the IT Show earlier this year).

Then. Then I read about the MSI Wind and, wouldn't ya know it - it has better specs than even the Eee PC901! So I changed my mind and decided I wanted the MSI Wind.

Until now, today, when I stepped in to my work place to find the building atrium set up for the Eee PC 901/1000H launch this weekend.

Curse you, pre-launch hype!

Oh man ... I'm so tempted to plonk down money for the Eee Box B202. Or the Eee PC 901/1000H.

Or both.

Let's consider the Eee Box deal (XP OS, 1gb RAM, 80gb HDD): SGD 439 (including tax) and they'll throw in a wired keyboard and mouse; SGD 699 for the Eee Box B202 and 19" LCD monitor bundle.

The lack of an optical drive is a little irritating, but with 4 USB ports, I can always dig up my old external CD-burner to plug in.

Played with a 901 just now - the keyboard and mousepad are irritating, but it could just be my fat calloused fingers.

How?

Howl!

eels - 'Not Ready Yet'

Album: Oh What A Beautiful Morning



Argh.

Tired, and sore and achey: Not a good combination.

Still - there's pole prac tomorrow ...

Shibani Kashyap - 'Tum Bas Tum'

Album: Waisa Bhi Hota Hai Part II OST



I spend 5 days a week in the office, and all I have to look forward to is Saturday where I can sleep in, and - most importantly - have my pole class and pole prac. But the boss is taking that away from me next month, when I'll already be missing a class and practice session due to some stupid public holiday that falls unfortunately on a Saturday (and for which we're not compensated with a holiday on the following Monday)!

Oh, cruel and unusual punishment is this!

=(

The sound of you sleeping

What is wrong with everybody? Is it something in the water or in the air? Everybody, from my colleagues (including my financial controller) to my cleaning auntie to the co-teacher of my pole class, has been asking if I had a boyfriend; and when I tell them 'no', all of them offered to introduce me to someone.

What, is it now a crime to be single in your late twenties? Even if I were single, it does not mean I'd be opened to being match-made.

If my boss offered that, I'm gonna go try out my luck at the lottery.

Shivaree - 'Flycatcher'

Album: Rough Dreams



Man, I'm exhausted, and a headache is waiting to take over my head. I need to repay my sleep debt, but it doesn't seem like I'd be able to this weekend.

The boss will be in town for most of next week (sigh) and I won't be able to slack off as much.

Can I please be allowed to pay back my sleep debt over a week, instead of over the weekend?

Discovered a couple days ago that boss is ... Jedi. What his philosophy is, and what he'd preached to me before was basically Yoda's "Try not. Do or do not, there is no try."

=|

So tired am dizzy again.

I miss you, baby ...

=(

The sound of you sleeping

Time-lines floated in to my head awhile ago - vague ones which I got from counting backwards.

It's time to start, again.

Geography quiz! Test me, test me! I spent nearly 8 hours in the office today doing the quizzes over and over again so I could learn where countries are. I'm good on US states and capitals, South American countries, Asian states and capitals, and European states (still iffy on the capitals, especially those in eastern Europe); I'm still learning my countries in Africa (never mind the capitals).

I actually spent a couple of nights in 2002 memorizing the map of Asia for ASIA 101, but until yesterday, I could remember nothing ...

Education is wasted on me.

=(

The sound of you sleeping

Yet another late night. How is it that I never manage to go to bed before 23:00?

I'm mad about geography today!