Weekend Roundup

Watched Ugly today after aerial yoga. Holy god, that movie is DARK (and human beings are just all sorts of fucked up). I kept stopping the movie and switching over to more lighthearted video clips, just because I felt a little suffocated.

I'm now reconsidering my to-watch list of past and future Kashyap-written and directed movies, which includes That Girl In Yellow Boots, the Wasseypur epic, and Bombay Velvet. Will I be able to handle them, or am I just a big wuss?

Like, literally almost nobody gave a fuck about Kali in Ugly. Bose's the closest to someone who gave a fuck, but his pathological need for control might be the driver of his perseverance in searching for Kali. Everybody looks out only for themselves — fuck everybody else.

I mean, I think it's a great film ... But I think there's a part of me that wished I didn't watch it. So much ugliness. Ugly is truly ugly, a horrible horror-house mirror for humankind.

I prolly need a brain cleanse.

And, hot damn is Ronit Roy's police uniform ever tight. Just like the one he wore in Boss. Just ... an observation.

Other stuff I watched between last Monday and today:

• The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions
• Ever After
  Finally! Hey, I actually like this more than I thought I would, and this is after factoring my adoration of Drew Barrymore. And I actually couldn't recognize Riff Raff!
  The 90s seem like a life ago — it was a very different life for me back then — so I'm quite impressed by how feminist I found it in my first ever viewing of this movie.
  What was a very pleasant wake-up call for me was when Danielle was sold to Riff Raff (I forgot what he's called in this movie) and I was like, oh NO, I hope the prince saves her in time! ... only to find that Danielle had the situation perfectly under control, fuck you very much, and didn't need saving. Seeing that, I was like, d'oh, WHY THE FUCK did I ever think she needed saving when she was the one who saved his sorry privileged ass??, and was totally surprised then mad at myself.
  And I think this movie passes the Bechdel Test too — even though it's really short, I really liked the scene in which Jacqueline tended to Danielle and expressed her sympathy and empathy to Danielle.
• Amit Sahni Ki List
  Thank goodness for my finding this movie as a cleanser for having watched Ugly. It's been on my to-watch list and I found it kinda sweet even though, with nearly all rom-coms, certain tropes tend to be rehashed to death.
  So in this we have the Indian Dharma and Greg because every dull investment banker needs an MPDG to show him how awesome life can be if only he starts living. (To be fair to the movie, Mala is totally my dream girl and I'm not even an investment banker.)
  And, HELLO, there are helluva stunning girls in this movie — Amit Sahni is one lucky bitch.
  I wish the best friend — sadly not employed under the gay best friend trope — had more scenes though.

Five movies again and I again managed to finish my reading for this week's QUILTBAG discussion. Lord, I need to spend less time watching movies. I certainly do not need to push myself to break this little 'record'.

The Tofu of Metaphors and Analogies

Finally finished The Matrix trilogy this week. Prior to borrowing the second and third installments, I was discussing my viewing of The Matrix with Debby and she told me I should just stop watching right here — the other two in the trilogy aren't quite worth watching.

As I was watching The Matrix Reloaded, I realized I prolly should've listened to Debby. I found Reloaded too bloated with needless scenes. Like the needlessly extended fight scenes (although it finally occurred to me who the style of fighting reminded me of — Jet Li in the Once Upon A Time In China series), or the expositions which were needlessly verbose (without telling me shit).

And the Architect. Holy shit, dude, I need to transcribe and parse what you're saying. With a dictionary. I found a transcription of the scene and reading it is actually easier than listening to it.

Is it weird that I actually prefer The Matrix Revolutions? If Reloaded is a whole load of bean-plating and exposition (and, imo, pseudo-intellectual and pseudo-philosophical wankery), then Revolutions is almost its opposite, to the extent that Revolutions appears to be a straightforward action flick.

Also, I found myself thinking about horcruxes and Harry's relationship with Voldemort in relation to Agent Smith, his clones, and his relationship with Neo. If the relationship is simplified to good versus evil, then both must live, no? You can't have one without the other, but is it not impossible to have neither?

Since Neo destroyed Agent Smith (and clones) by allowing himself to be destroyed, there must be, for at least a short moment, in the rebooted Matrix, in which there exists neither 'good' (personified by the One) nor 'evil' (personified by AI programs, i.e. the Agents) in the perspective of the people of Zion?

Anyway. In Debby's and my chat, we both agreed that we would prolly want to be back in the Matrix for the lovely taste of a steak. For me, Reloaded and Revolutions recall The Four Quartets. 'East Coker' begins with: "In my beginning is my end", and ends with: "In my end is my beginning" — which is pretty much repeated incessantly in Reloaded. The Matrix itself more or less boils down to: "human kind / Cannot bear very much reality" (imo).

I'mma take a moment here to mention Persephone (i.e. Monica Belluci). I feel like she seems to serve no real purpose other than to provide eye-candy by way of a beautiful face, an awesomely proportioned female form, and glorious, glorious breasts and cleavage.

Random thoughts while watching the trilogy:

• I don't like Morpheus: I think he's two white rabbits away from becoming the deranged and delirious street-corner preacher.
• Ignore the sartorial/costume choices. Ignore the sartorial/costume choices. Ignore the sartorial/costume choices ...
• Man, did the creepy crawly sentinels provide "inspiration" for the mimics and alphas of Edge of Tomorrow?
• The Matrix trilogy is totally the tofu of metaphors and analogies. Really, you can flavor it (with any context) any way you desire but not everybody is gonna like it. Because tofu. (And texture and consistency.)
• The Nebuchadnezzar reminds me of Serenity and every appearance of Gina Torres makes me scream (internally), "ZOEEEEEEE ZOEEEEE ZOEEEE ZOEEEEE ZOEEEEEEEEEEE ...!!!"
• I miss Firefly. =( The Nebuchadnezzar needs someone who will happily exclaim, "Shiny!"

Ding Dong Rakshasa Mar Gaya

I was gonna shut it from the mountain tops — DING DONG DING DONG vah mar gaya aur ab asha aayegi! — but since I'm playing The Matrix in the background and scanning through scholarly articles that touch on the movie (or the trilogy), I realized a couple of things:

1. I may think of him as an evil little shit but to so many others he wasn't and still isn't one. If you were 'born' and 'live' in the Matrix, telling you something else about your perception of reality isn't going to change your mind. And that's fine — some people are genuinely happier not ever knowing — but it's better to slowly and gently educated those than force them to look at something before they are ready to.
2. There's really no fucking point in remaining even a little angry at something dead, even if it had been an evil little shit while alive. My energy and resources are much better diverted to something more positive and productive. And instead of complaining of the mess and stink the evil little shit left behind for all the living to clean up, why not do something to make it better for everyone else in this swamp?
3. A lot of me runs on anger but, while anger has served me well and fueled certain passions and drive, it's now consuming me. And it's not healthy — not to mention helluva counterproductive. I must learn to ... ♫ let it go, let it go. ♫ (Haha.)

And, with this, I must focus on the lovely things.

Like, how I've taken a day off today (and how my day started with news that brought about hope).

Like, how I've finally collected my certificate in Visual Communication and spent almost two hours at the book sale held by the library at that art school. (I bought over a dozen items, mostly for my senior librarian, but a couple for myself too.)

Well, I didn't manage to make it to Mustafa to look at Hindi DVDs (those book sale items were heavy) but I guess that's how I managed to be thrifty this week. Anyway, I'm not sure I'm mentally ready to watch Ugly just yet ...

FIVE

Quite a productive week, movie-wise, and having done this while having read everything I needed to read for the QUILTBAG discussion session yesterday — hell yeah, productive.

What I watched this week:

• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  
• Les Aventures extraordinaires d'Adèle Blanc-Sec
  Wow, this is actually really lovely! Also, Mme Blanc-Sec is not just smart and witty and brave, she's really gorgeous! <3 I hope there will be sequels to this, like maybe how Adèle manages to save herself from the Titanic before embarking on further adventures in South America or elsewhere in Europe.
  
  Failing live action sequels, I'm down with animations, or even just English translations of the comic series.

• Ne Le Dis À Personne
  I wish more thrillers were like this — taut and tense right until the denouement. My only grouse is that Cluzet looks too much older than Croze for them to have been childhood friends.
  
  Okay, also the Bruno character is very conveniently helpful. Maybe a little too convenient and helpful. The woman assassin perpetually in a crop top/sports bra is super creep. I actually breathed a little easier after Bruno shot her dead (although for a long moment I thought she was never going to die — even her expressionless walking away from being shot twice in the back was creepy).
  
  Kristin Scott Thomas as one half of a gorgeous lesbian couple — WIN. The same-sex couple thing is very matter-of-fact and not made into a big deal (in 2006!). This is also one way I wish more movies would be like Ne Le Dis À Personne too.

• The Matrix
  So I finally watched this (I've been putting it off for way too long) and I find it interesting though nowhere as thought-provoking as Waking Life. I guess I waited too long because the movie seems to be showing its age too. Also, there seems to be ... I dunno, not loop-holes in the plot, just ... things I didn't get. Like, why did it take so long for everybody to find Neo? Is the Matrix not all-knowing?
  
  Also, if you're aware that 'life' in the Matrix isn't 'reality', why would you not want to learn to bend and break physical laws above everything else? I mean, "there is no spoon" should've been the rebels' motto from the start and rebel leaders should be drumming that into all rebels' heads. Mind over matter, as it were.
  
  I'm ignoring the quibbles in my head (that nagged away as I was watching the movie) because HELLO CARRIE ANNE MOSS IN LATEX. Lord, Trinity is awesome (less awesome when she falls in love with Neo — COME ON. Girl, Switch is much hotter than Neo is!!). I'm dying to finish the Matrix trilogy now and I hope Trinity develops even more awesome control and mind-power. (Not reading Wiki for spoilers!)
  
  There is one thing that Agent Smith said that I agree with though: that we are Earth's cancer.
  
  Talking about Agent Smith — it's prolly just me, but the first time I see an actor in a movie, I tend to fixed the character they play on all the future characters they essay. In Hugo Weaving's case, the first time I saw him was in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (the second movie I saw him in was Bedrooms and Hallways).
  
  So.
  
  Yes, I think of and see Mitzi (and Jeremy) every time he comes on screen. Wouldn't it be fabulous if Agent Smith were a less dour?

• Shor in the City
  I only watched this because of how much I like Go Goa Gone and it's not too bad, just a little uneven. True, I'd like to think karma is a bitch — and it's Ms Bitch to you — but not every character got bitch slapped by karma.
  
  Also, towards the end, I thought I finally saw Tusshar Kapoor play a character with whom I sympathize (when Tilak appeared to have died), but no ... Tilak lived. And for the better.
  
  I think the soundtrack for Shor in the City is pretty good too.

The soundtrack for Detective Byomkesh Bakshy was released sometime last week (I think?) and IT. IS. FUCKING. AWESOME. I liked 'Calcutta Kiss' when it first released on YouTube but OMG 'Chase in Chinatown' blew my socks off.

I'm so looking forward to that movie. The trailers released so far made me think of Guy Ritchie's Sherlock but I hope I'm wrong. SO EXCITE.

Listen to Detective-Byomkesh-Bakshy-2015 on Saavn

The World Forgetting, By The World Forgot

I finally watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind earlier on Tuesday and it was, to my surprise, very much less confusing than I thought it would be.

I had only seen two other Kaufman-written films before (Being John Malkovich and Adaptation) but I somehow got the idea that his stories are mind-fuckingly confusing, like Lynch's but without the darkness and nightmarish atmosphere.

Eternal Sunshine I therefore found to be very lovely and sweet even as I thought it a little depressing — like the fact that even having memories wiped from their minds, people still do the very things they want to forget.

I mean, on the one hand, I guess the story shows how history is doomed to repeat itself if it isn't kept in mind or memory (which also means if one doesn't learn from it). On the other hand, what I got from the film is that life is pre-determined, predestined — you make the same decisions even when given another chance to start over ... because you're meant to.

My personal belief is that life unfolds along a path that is created from the choices you make — a choose-your-own-adventure, as it were. I'd be happy to be caught in a time loop if only to be able to learn about the myriad of ways my life could've/might've turned out, based on every single decision I make on any given day.

Also: ah, Pope. He seems to have the best lines about being forgotten by the world:

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd ...

'Eloisa to Abelard'

Versus:

Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
          Tell where I lie.

'Ode on Solitude'

(Talking about poetry, hipsters with their rolled cuff pants and jeans never fail to recall poor ol' Prufrock: "I grow old … I grow old …/I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.")

Oh. My. Lord.

The only reason I'm rewatching Edge of Tomorrow just a few hours after my first viewing is Emily Blunt.

Because I can't forget Emily Blunt doing the chaturanga pose in the movie.

Because I can watch her chaturanga on loop.

And ... WISH GRANTED. (Hell yeah. Thank you so much, Internet!)

And wide-screen available here!

Actually Emily Blunt doing what she's doing has her own auto-complete and various similar suggestions in Google; I guess there must've been many a gay girl busy searching for the same thing when the movie first came out. We sure love them sexy toned/muscular arms.

I can't believe she was pregnant when she was shooting this movie. On the Graham Norton show interview, I remember her (and Cruise) saying how heavy and warm the suits were, so, kudos.

Also:

Swooning ... swooning ... swooned.

Weekend

I watched:

• The Lego Movie
  For some reason I'd thought this would be like Team America: World Police; it's not. I guess it's a cute flick for kids but it's just okay for me. My god, the message they just hit you over the head with. No subtly with this one ...
• The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
  I only watched this because Auntie Al's friend/client said I should — the movie will push me to get off my ass and travel, said he. The thing is, I never had daydreams like those of the titular character. If I were as bored as him at my job, my daydreams tend to run a little more morbid, like the double-decker bus in which I traveled skidding and toppling over because it cornered too quickly and too sharply, or the overhead extension on which I walked collapsing from structural faults.
  Still, I thought the scenes in Greenland, Iceland, and the Himalayas looked gorgeous. For some reason — perhaps having seen it in a book previously — the Iceland shore bit looked very familiar, exactly as I'd pictured it reading the sagas and about the geography of Iceland prior to 1400 CE.
  I don't think the movie has made me desperate to travel — in fact, as I was watching the movie, I'd thought how well seeing things at a distance (on screen, for instance) suited me. I still want to see Pangong Tso first hand and hopefully visit the medieval sites around the UK and Scandinavia while I can still walk, but it's not because of this particular movie.
• Edge of Tomorrow
  Okay, I like this more than Walter Mitty, that's for sure. One, I like stuff that fucks with time; two, I like explosive stuff. And, of course, Emily Blunt.
  EMILY BLUNT. <3
  THOSE ARMS. <3 <3
  OMG HELLO THERE. <3 <3 <3
  Also, the movie is fun and funny. The mimics were super creepy though. Ugh, so gross.
• Bhool Bhulaiya
  Bought this yesterday after the QUILTBAG discussion session (together with a replacement copy of Khosla Ka Ghosla). It's pretty decent given that it's a Priyadarshan movie and I don't have high expectations when it comes to Priyadarshan, Rohit Shetty, David Dhawan (etc.) works. I thought it was a good sign it opened with Paresh Rawal; on the other hand, the musical interludes all seemed very forced. It would've been better to just confine the music to the closing titles — I don't really mind watching Mr Khiladi lip-sync once the movie has ended.

Anyway, I need to read more. I've been reading chapters from Chris Hudson's Beyond the Singapore Girl for the discussion session and it makes me so angry that such a man exists, that such men exist. Racist, sexist, misogynist eugenicists — these people just win the genetic toilet, I guess.

I'mma borrow this book from work tomorrow.

Duhlization #542

This duhlization struck me during one of my bathroom breaks this morning: why I adore pothead-slackers — i.e. The Dude-ish characters.

It basically boils down to my erstwhile unconscious desire to be them. I want to be them, not the nervous, highly-strung, responsible 'straight' man (so to speak).

I mean, who the fuck would rather be

• Dante than Randal?
• Shaun than Ed?
• Harold than Kumar?
• T.S. than Brodie?
• anybody than The Dude/Scott Pilgrim/any Seth Rogen character?

... I gotta rewatch The Big Lebowski, damn.

Burning Bridges Revisited

So, this afternoon during my appraisal meeting with my manager, I said I haven't been on a proper vacation (which, in my books, means at least five to 10 consecutive days off) since 2013.

My manager said I should take my break before I burned out. I could only think: lady, that fucking horse was so long out of the bloody barn, both horse and barn are now fossil fuel.

So, the question about to burn or not to burn bridges is now pointless. I'm nothing if not self-destructive, and all that time I'd spent thinking about whether or not to burn bridges, I've managed to set myself aflame.

Whilst on the bridge.

Guess we're both burning now.

Disco inferno, I suppose.

Read(s) & Flicks of the Month: February

Read(s):

• The Brothers Cabal

Flicks:

• Dil Kabaddi
• Special 26
• Daawat-e-Ishq
• Happy Endings
• I Saw the Devil
• Shaadi Ke Side Effects
• Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster
• Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster Returns
• I Am
• Boss
• Barah Aana
• Sadda Adda
• Raajneeti
• hootha Hi Sahi
• Mithya
• Yeh Jaawani Hai Deewani
• Love Aaj Kal
• The Film Emotional Atyachar
• Om Shanti Om
• Fido
• Zombieland
• Dasvidnya

I have to start reading more (and the reading group articles don't count) — maybe I'll start by finishing the Cabal series. LOL, werebadgers, indeed!

Zombie Monday

Day off! (This was planning ahead — I gave myself a slightly extended weekend because I knew my weekend engagements/human interactions would drain me.)

So I decided the theme for today's flicks: zombies. Or, more specifically: ZOM COM!

I've never liked zombie flicks; movies like 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead give me the willies. I'm a coward and can't stand to watch horror movies. But zom com? That's a whole 'nother thing!

First movie this morning was rewatching Zombieland. Can't remember why I bought this in the first place but it took a couple of years from my purchase of the DVD to my watching it. The first time I watched it was last Thursday — and I like it very much! Lord, I would love to see Bill FUCKING Murray play a real zombie.

Second movie was Go Goa Gone (GGG) (which I'd bought on Saturday, together with Taxi and Fido). I was a little trepidatious about buying "India's first zom com" (the trailer I saw of SAK's terrible Russian accent didn't help either) but since I read that people who like Delhi Belly will like GGG, I picked it up.

MAN was I glad I did! What I wouldn't give to have Hardik meet Nitin — I'm pretty sure these two slackers will get on awesomely and they'll make a fine ass movie I'd watch the hell out of. (Also, Luv is basically Arup, but less mousy and with more hair.)

Imagine: two dudes with shaggy but beautiful curls (hairband optional) spending time on the couch, drinking, belching, farting, smoking (I can see Nitin as a Dude-ish pothead), eating, slacking, arguing about movies, and who should get up to get the door, fetch the remote control, etc. Yeah, I'd watch that.

I didn't really like the bit of moralizing at the end of GGG but it wasn't too terrible. Sure, don't do hard drugs but surely a bit of weed now and then isn't going to be the end of the world, right? Also, wasn't coke used to stop the zombies? Mixed messages, people ...

Anyway, the soundtrack's good too. 'Khoon Choosle Monday' is now my theme song for every Monday I have to be at work.

Rewatching Shaun of the Dead now, trying to figure out whether or not GGG borrowed anything else from Shaun, apart from the let's-pretend-we're-zombies-to-blend-in thing. (To be fair to GGG though, the character who suggested that also did say he got that from a movie.)

After Shaun, I think I'll rewatch either Fido or GGG.

Ah yes. Watching movies in my underwear and drinking cold coffee. This is my kinda Monday.

GIRLY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

(That GGG opened with this old favorite already makes it winner!)

I Hate Anxiety

So even though I read both 'Burnt Norton', part of 'East Coker', and 'The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock' before turning in, it was a night of restlessness.

I felt like I kept waking up and falling back into the same dream. Not so much a dream but less terrifying than a nightmare, but still completely anxiety-inducing.

There weren't any marker I can remember that pointed to the dream location as Welly but I was certain I was in Welly ... because dream logic.

In the dream, there were infected people who behaved like zombies but I know they weren't out to eat my face and brains. For example, one infected person kept reaching towards me, but all it wanted was to touch noses with me so it can transfer the red dot on its nose to me. But because my dream logic told me that when I got touched by an infected person the infection would pass to me, I was anxious to not be touched.

Basically, until I hear my weekend alarm ('Mr E's Beautiful Blues'), that was my dream. It was very tiring. Anxiety is tiring. Sigh.

Anyway, here's the one thing that saved me from my dream:

Just gotta keep telling myself, "Goddamn right it's a beautiful day."

A Week Of Beginnings

Two things began this week — my beginner Hindi classes and my QUILTBAG reading and discussion group. Quite a coincidence that both keep me very close to my favorite place here, outside of my home and the Studio.

I found the first Hindi class a little boring and weird. A little boring because I learned nothing really new — or, nothing I didn't see in my copy of Snell's Teach Yourself Hindi. It's also a little weird because I can never understand how people learn a new language without first learning about the grammar and syntax of the language; I mean, I'm not a fucking parrot.

It's a good thing I already know a bit of Hindi syntax and grammar (and am practicing my reading of the Devanagari script now — thank you people who tweet using the Devanagari script). Vocabulary I'm not very fussed about because it's really easy to pick up words from all the movies I watch, the songs to which I listen, and the lyrics (and their English translations) I read.

I adore languages and find them fascinating. I don't see myself as a casual learner so repeating set phrases in class isn't exactly how I'd envision a language-learning class would run.

The QUILTBAG reading and discussion group was much better. Listening to everybody's thoughts on sex, gender, and sexuality was wonderful because I remembered the many years I'd pondered over these issues and how I finally just gave up, sick and weary of going around in circles, like the dog chasing its own tail.

I also sorta 'realized' my desperate rejection of certain markers of femininity and what I thought of as "'stereotypical' girly stuff" wasn't entirely inexplicable. Sergio once told me (prolly apropos of nothing, as was his wont) it was okay for me to like 'girly' things like accessories and make-up (etc.) — because those things would not made me ditzy or stupid.

On hindsight, perhaps he was hinting for me to do better on the look-more-like-other-PAs front. Or maybe he was trying to give me the permission to do and like the things he thought I didn't allow myself to do/like. Well, in any case, he was only half right.

Right now, I feel somewhat unsettled and very wrung out. It's prolly just the full moon and my impending period (UGH), and nothing to do with the session.

Can't believe I'm actually playing my hitherto unopened copy of Barfi as a source of comfort now but I guess it makes sense. 'Barfi' has been my go-to happy song (and weekday alarm ringtone) for awhile now.

Also: I guess I need some poetry tonight. Carol Ann Duffy, maybe. Or 'Prufrock'. Or The Four Quartets.

Because I am merely human, and "human kind / Cannot bear very much reality".

Weekend

In addition to watching Om Shanti Om on Saturday, I watched Phas Gaye Re Obama on Sunday. Actually, I started on Sona Spa on Saturday and tried to continue watching it on Sunday but, after the synapse-connection scene (OMG SO FUCKING DUMB), just couldn't sit through the rest of it.

Phas Gaye was smart and funny! I might've watched bits of it before as I got a sense of déjà vu during certain scenes.

My senior librarian also lent me Fido which I watched on Saturday. It's the sweetest and most non-scary movie with zombies. And Billy Connolly as the titular Fido, a zombie! NICE!