Chaya

Monday morning: I drifted awake on the tail end of a dream. I think the moment just before I opened my eyes, I had been (in my dream) repeating, "Chaya, Chaya, Chaya ..." (No, not the 'Chaiyya chaiyya' song.)

The Chaya in my dream had been a beautiful, dark-haired woman.

In my dream, I was (I think) on my first day at a job—either as a receptionist or assistant to a doctor who didn't/hadn't (yet) turn up at work—and I was handling all the patients/clients who came to the office, wanting to see the doctor. Prior to going into the office, I seemed to be walking around with a friend (Jen, I think?) which gave me the opportunity to look around. The setting was natural and calming; think: ivy-covered stone walls and muted gurgling of man-made waterfalls.

In the doctor's office, I wasn't in a panic and the patients/clients weren't pushy or angry. They seemed content to be rescheduled and, in a more or less orderly manner, asked for their (new) appointments.

Chaya was one of them. I apologetically explained that the doctor wasn't in (yet) and asked whether she would like a new appointment, perhaps later that same day. She said she would like to be registered for the earliest possible opening but could I please give her a call as soon as the doctor came in. I promised I would. She wrote down a long-ish string of number and left her name.

I think maybe that was when I started waking up, repeating her name and staring at her phone number.

Anyway, it was an unusual name so last night I decided to look up its meaning. I pronounced her name 'chah-yah' (the Hindi way) which was what I was more familiar with; however, I'd just finished The Mathematician's Shiva on Sunday night so I'm kinda leaning towards the Hebrew meaning (however differently it is pronounced).

Does that dream mean anything? Hm.

Guilty Reads

• Jonathan Kellerman—The Golem of Hollywood
• Jonathan Kellerman—The Golem of Paris
• Stuart Rojstaczer—The Mathematician's Shiva

(Yeah, strange coincidence of reading back-to-back books with a Jewish theme. This is why I have a feeling that the Chaya in my dream isn't Indian but Middle Eastern/Jewish.)

Why

... do I appear to have an unnatural amount of anxiety about the interview this afternoon?

And, honestly, I don't think I'm anxious about screwing up the interview or that I'm nervous about being turned down for the position after the interview. I feel like I'm more anxious about being offered a position than having the interviewer dislike me. =( This is so weird.

Halp!

A One-Eighty?

What happened since the last post:

• Yesterday: A call from someone from a recruitment company asking me whether I was interested in a training position; promised to email me a detailed job description;
• Yesterday: A call from a local library body asking me to attend an interview next week;
• Yesterday: Came across a comms position that actually excited me (plus it's located in the east!) and I can't wait to apply;
• Today: Before I could even start doing up my cover letter for that comms job, a call from a local university library asking me about my availability for an interview in a fortnight and a promise to send an email to me once the details have been confirmed;
• Today: I actually got a reply from a local welfare group who had previously told me I wasn't going to be considered as a candidate because my expected salary was too high but to which I asked to be considered based on my experience and skills—it is really short notice, but they've asked me to go in for an interview tomorrow!

Now, of course, in an ideal world, I'd be getting job offers from all these interviews, but I know that's hardly going to be the case. I'm just now a little torn about what I would like to do IF I did manage to get different job offers.

I'd sent off applications for many library positions because I think I want to start on my MSc next year (if I found work in a library within this year, then hopefully my manager/employer could write me a recommendation letter to strengthen my application for the MSc). The interview with the local library body is for a short-term contract (ending at the end of March 2016) at a public library while the position with the university library is a permanent role.

PROS:

• They're library jobs and I actually like working in a library (although I'm not too sure about public library work—I've only ever worked in academic libraries)
• The more library work on my résumé, the stronger my MSc application.
• University (or research/academic) libraries are where I want to work.
• The university library that called me this morning is the only university in this country offer the MSc; I could kill two birds with one stone (if I got the job and got accepted into the MSc program).

CONS:

• Location—oh holy fuck they're on the west side of the island, with the university campus practically located in the neighboring country (yes, that's how FAR away it is), and the commute might just kills me.
  
  I know this is the only con that I can see (for now) but it's a very frightening, pragmatic, and realistic one. I'd gone for an interview at that same university a couple of weeks ago (for a position I didn't even apply wtf) and my dad drove me. It was THE. LONGEST. CAR. RIDE. OF. MY. LIFE. The train ride home was similarly THE. LONGEST. TRAIN. RIDE. OF. MY. LIFE. (Well, they're not—I've taken road trips and train rides between Auckland and Wellington—but that car ride and that train ride were so boring they felt like the longest journeys ever.)
  
  Some years ago, my friend Jen received a work-study scholarship for her MSc at this very university. She eventually dropped out of the program because of the commute and the people in the office. =(

Okay, that's just one dilemma. The other one I have is about the types of job I've been applying to. For the interview I'm going to tomorrow ...

PROS:

• It's at a great (central) location (and near both an aerial/pole arts studio, art schools where I can perhaps pursue a certificate or part-time diploma in Visual Communication/Communication Design or any other design/artsy-crafty course, and the national library)!
• If I got the job, I might just get to work with the wonderful and smart and tireless women who are involved in producing CEDAW shadow reports (which I only got to know about thanks to the QUILTBAG group).
• There's a direct train from this job's location to another local university where I can pursue an MA by coursework (in Linguistics/English Language or English Literature). I figured if my goal is to become a subject librarian, I should have both a Masters in a subject and in library studies, no?

PROS:

• I don't know what kind of a (professional) future I'd have in that organization—I don't think I'll be able to become a professional (i.e. as compared to being a librarian).
• Going away from library work then applying for the MSc is likely to weaken my application ...

Once I finish and send in the application I'm writing, I'd have applied for two Communications-type jobs. These are actually interesting to me because I think the jobs would require me to both design and write—two things I think I'm actually decent at and which aren't completely snore-inducing for me. However, I have no interest in pursuing a Masters in Mass Communication at this point (even if it is a professional degree) and I think I might have to start at the bottom of the food chain in this field if they don't recognize the communications and promotion/marketing work I did in the library. I really enjoy visual communication-related tasks and want to continue to develop my skills in design as well as the software used.

Bah. This is thinking too far ahead. Damnit, I should've only written post if/when I actually have job offers ...

Anyway. The best news today is actually the fact that when I googled Mephisto's name, his Twitter account is the top result! HE'S ALIVE THANK THE GOOD GODDESS!!!

The Tofu of Metaphors and Analogies

Finally finished The Matrix trilogy this week. Prior to borrowing the second and third installments, I was discussing my viewing of The Matrix with Debby and she told me I should just stop watching right here — the other two in the trilogy aren't quite worth watching.

As I was watching The Matrix Reloaded, I realized I prolly should've listened to Debby. I found Reloaded too bloated with needless scenes. Like the needlessly extended fight scenes (although it finally occurred to me who the style of fighting reminded me of — Jet Li in the Once Upon A Time In China series), or the expositions which were needlessly verbose (without telling me shit).

And the Architect. Holy shit, dude, I need to transcribe and parse what you're saying. With a dictionary. I found a transcription of the scene and reading it is actually easier than listening to it.

Is it weird that I actually prefer The Matrix Revolutions? If Reloaded is a whole load of bean-plating and exposition (and, imo, pseudo-intellectual and pseudo-philosophical wankery), then Revolutions is almost its opposite, to the extent that Revolutions appears to be a straightforward action flick.

Also, I found myself thinking about horcruxes and Harry's relationship with Voldemort in relation to Agent Smith, his clones, and his relationship with Neo. If the relationship is simplified to good versus evil, then both must live, no? You can't have one without the other, but is it not impossible to have neither?

Since Neo destroyed Agent Smith (and clones) by allowing himself to be destroyed, there must be, for at least a short moment, in the rebooted Matrix, in which there exists neither 'good' (personified by the One) nor 'evil' (personified by AI programs, i.e. the Agents) in the perspective of the people of Zion?

Anyway. In Debby's and my chat, we both agreed that we would prolly want to be back in the Matrix for the lovely taste of a steak. For me, Reloaded and Revolutions recall The Four Quartets. 'East Coker' begins with: "In my beginning is my end", and ends with: "In my end is my beginning" — which is pretty much repeated incessantly in Reloaded. The Matrix itself more or less boils down to: "human kind / Cannot bear very much reality" (imo).

I'mma take a moment here to mention Persephone (i.e. Monica Belluci). I feel like she seems to serve no real purpose other than to provide eye-candy by way of a beautiful face, an awesomely proportioned female form, and glorious, glorious breasts and cleavage.

Random thoughts while watching the trilogy:

• I don't like Morpheus: I think he's two white rabbits away from becoming the deranged and delirious street-corner preacher.
• Ignore the sartorial/costume choices. Ignore the sartorial/costume choices. Ignore the sartorial/costume choices ...
• Man, did the creepy crawly sentinels provide "inspiration" for the mimics and alphas of Edge of Tomorrow?
• The Matrix trilogy is totally the tofu of metaphors and analogies. Really, you can flavor it (with any context) any way you desire but not everybody is gonna like it. Because tofu. (And texture and consistency.)
• The Nebuchadnezzar reminds me of Serenity and every appearance of Gina Torres makes me scream (internally), "ZOEEEEEEE ZOEEEEE ZOEEEE ZOEEEEE ZOEEEEEEEEEEE ...!!!"
• I miss Firefly. =( The Nebuchadnezzar needs someone who will happily exclaim, "Shiny!"