Read(s) of the Month: October

• Robert Galbraith's The Silkworm — will read again!
• Amanda Grange's Mr Darcy's Diary — yeah ... no. I love Pride and Prejudice but Grange's Darcy falls a little flat for me.
• Yasutaka Tsutsui's Paprika — book on which one of my favorite films is based! I think Atsuko in the film is actually quite different from Atsuko in the book. The book has a lot more details going on in the narrative too. I suspect if I'd read the book without watching the movie, I'd've been quite lost. Satoshi Kon made Paprika really, really awesome. And how much of a genius is Kon? Tony Zhou's fantastic video essay is a great place to start!

Ink ... or Something

Back in 2008, at the end of every quarter I'd treat myself to something. I ended up with two navel piercings (one above, one below), one lower navel microdermal (on the keloid left by the lower navel piercing), one sternum piercing, and a blacklight tattoo. And I haven't had anything done since ...

I've been itching for a new ink but lack ideas - until now (desperate times). I decided on:

1) "Not here, you're where I stand, hearing the sea, crazy for the shore, seeing the moon ache and fret for the earth." [Top of the fern]

2) A geometric stencil & watercolor pair of Betta fish [one above each elbow, in opposite directions]

3) My 'Hope' verse OR last stanza of Pope's 'Ode on Solitude' - or both! [inside of left forearm; side of ribs]

4) I also want something on nape, prolly a dragonfly

5) Doggie's fore paws prints [where she usually hits me when I lock the gate]

I honestly CANNOT wait to get something done. It beats cutting myself in my books - though to each her own ...

Some Things

Some things that make you sad will always make you sad, I guess. It's days like these that make me believe that happiness is transient, elusive, and unreal - the dream within a dream.

Being sad is slightly more real. Well ... at least it's familiar grounds.

'Cause I Really Like to Meet Her

I know I shouldn't put much stock in it, but every time it happened, it was spot on.

Too many times it's happened. Then, in last couple of weeks, I heard:

Come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

These couple of weeks, it is:

Tell me all your thoughts on God
'Cause I'd really like to meet her
And ask her why we're who we are

Yeah, so I know I shouldn't put much stock (if any) in this, but I still wonder what this is meant to reflect of my mind.

Nothing to Lose

Now that my body had me drop out of aerials, I feel there's nothing to lose and everything to gain if I were injured in a bus crash somehow because - hey, I won't have to be at work then.

My People

I only truly and fully get the awesomeness that is Tumblr when I have a crush on some unattainable figure ... like Sue Perkins.

Tumblr gave me this:

from SuePerkinsSuperstar

And many many many more gifs and imgs of Sue Perkins and Sue and Mel.

Oh yeah. Tumblr, you mah people.

Read(s) of the Month: September (Additions)

Whatever possessed me to do a Read of the Month at the beginning of the month rather than at the end of it? I feel like I've been devouring books these few weeks. In the month of September, I finished:

• Tarquin Hall's Vish Puri series (हिंखोज good read यार!)
• Nick Trout's The Patron Saint of Lost Dogs
• Kathy Reich's Bare Bones.

Looks like I won't be finishing The Anthologist or Jo Nesbø's The Bat. Books too easily put down and not tempting enough to be picked up again.

You Learn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong
And you really do have worth…
And you learn and learn…
With every good-bye you learn.

Jorge Luis Borges

Just across this tonight. It makes me want to cry. How long is "a while"?

Mephisto

I came across an old note I wrote back Nov 2008 in which I was mad at the boss. Funny how I'd forgotten the anxiety and turmoil of my decision.

Mephisto offered to shoot the tires off the bus I'd said I boarded and couldn't get off ...

No regrets, I still wonder what would've happened if I had got off that bus.

Mephisto had left before i returned and I don't know if he's even still alive. I have been missing him. He's always so sure and I guess that's what I need now - that confidence and self-assurance.