Sigh.

Shit, what am I doing?

Seriously, what am I doing?

Woke up feeling less than good - slept late, woke up halfway by a nightmare, unable to fall back asleep, woke up by a snuffed nose, unable to fall back asleep, etc. - but damn if I didn't nailed a couple of stuff at pole prac.

One: Knee-hold - all you need is a non-slippery pole, a sense of balance, and knees with dead nerves.

Two: Chinese flag-pole

Three: Hanging side-split (I still don't dare to call it an Ayesha) with my trunk and hips off the pole.

Yay!

Woke up with a dreary headache which, after breakfast, worsened with the swelling of everything in my head.

So I took a pill and went to back to bed ... and I've managed to pissed away a whole day.

Sigh. =|

Thank you free comic strip generators! Thanks to C who hipped me on to them, I'm currently addicted. Mephisto appears to make a perfect character!

Mephisto by thegirlyouneverknew

And to make myself feel a little better about wasting precious translation and reading time on such trivialities, I made one from the Prose Edda.

Choosing A God For A Husband by thegirlyouneverknew

There's just something about being here that makes me feel free to think about making changes - even if superficial - to myself; and I know the possiblity of those changes coming about is all in my hands, whether or not I'm willing to set them in motion.

This just doesn't happen with me in Singapore.

So ... Yet another step closer to the grave. Still, it wasn't a completely horrid day: 2 hours of a somewhat-interesting-and-fun LING seminar followed by 2 hours of pole prac - and I didn't manage to hurt myself too badly, considering the damage inflicted on Sunday.

Strangest of all things pertaining to the annual grave march was a call I received on Wednesday night. I didn't look too carefully at the caller's number, just that it had a Singapore country code (I assumed it was my dad), so I was awfully surprised to hear from Ben-from-secondary-school-with-whom-I'd-not-met-and-spoken-since-1997. Wow, that's some kinda blast from the past! Apparently he'd gotten my cellphone number off Facebook. Had a short chat (a little awkward), and an offer from him to to visit Vietnam where he's currently based.

Awesome!

Celebrated (well, not really) C's birthday yesterday; watched The Unborn after dinner.

Still haven't figured out what to do for my research essay - went from metrical charms to runes. Gotta settle on something soon ... =|

It looks like I'm gonna give up on pole prac today by default. ARGH!

Workshop with Jamilla today; but I hurt my left side so much going from superman to figurehead. It's been pretty bad since the Friday before last, but now it's ... ARGH.

Also, as I was in the speeding bus on my way to the workshop, it occurred to me that could be my life: That is, I'm hurtling along at 180 kph to old age. I'm nearly 30, and soon I'll be too old to qualify for and do stuff.

It's terrifying ... =(

This is absolutely super-duper fucking awesome.

I don't care if it's a clunky prototype - I want me one!

Time passes so quickly when you're not doing anything important.

And when you are.

Why does it only passes slowly when you're not having fun and/or want it to go by faster?

Oh ...

Don't tell me my previous daily (conscientious) journaling was due to boredom.

I'm still stuck in that bored and restless state, and I really hope it's just the current moon cycle, because it's really fucking with and fucking up everything.

Gaaah.

It's been a little frustrating; I'm bored and restless and don't know what to do with myself. I should be reading - for Old Norse, and my research essay - but I can't concentrate.

Then there's the little matter of filing my income tax before 15 Apr (just read an email from my old office) ...

I feel like I've drifted into living in NZ - back in Welly - from life in Singapore a little unknowingly. I've taken to living in Welly (a mixture of 2 parts familiarity and 1 part unfamiliarity, with a sprinkling of changes) that life back in Singapore seemed so far in the past it's almost a dream.

I'd say it's been an amazing day, but that might be overstating it ... just a little.

I saw Anna at today's seminar. Anna. Anna - about and for whom I'd scribbled wildly and desperately 4 years ago - and then some. She looked exactly the same - not as I remembered, because I don't think I do remember clearly enough - and the same silver armlet on her left bicep.

Then I went and did 2 hours of pole, which makes a total of 5 hours this week. I'm deliriously mad with joy - and mottled with bruises and new calluses.

And now, back to what should be my main piece of reality: Homework.

First-day-of-school-axiety: it's definitely not a coincidence I dreamed of Mrs. Cheng and Mrs. Lim the night before.

Seriously, more than 10 years later, they still stand out in my mind. Are they like, truly formidable, or what?