Funny Side

Look on the funny side of things, maybe?

Surely it is better to laugh in the face of desperation and dread than to implode and crumble?

Of course, perhaps it is one of my life's learning goals to learn HOW to do exactly just that—laughing instead of fearing and collapsing.

Motivation

Well, it's been ... awhile. A long while, to be sure. I left my job, had lovely gifts and a send-off from my colleagues, and have been bumming ever since and it got a little dark ... too dark for me to handle.

But I think the dark clouds have passed — at least for now. I've been riding this wave of can-do spirit this week and I hope it doesn't peter out too soon.

The last time I'd been despondent (though maybe not as desperately as the past few weeks) was when my thyroid condition left me incapable of doing the activities I love and I just gave up.

Then, one night, I happened to catch just this bit of Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted on telly/cable:

Katy Perry's empowering lyrics, the visuals — but especially Alex and Gia, and Marty and Stefano, flying through hoops, etc. — suddenly motivated me to stop moping, get off my ass, and start working to get back to where I was. (It was a long process: I started aerial yoga without even being able to do the easiest things; it was just really horrible. I'm stronger now, controlling the thyroid condition with meds, training under a great aerial yoga instructor, and thinking of getting back into aerial arts, starting with the hammock and/or lyra.)

The other things in my life ... well, I hope what I've been doing this week is the first step to getting back on track. I just need to find more aural and/or video motivation.

Addendum: I can't believe I forgot to add that meeting with Ola on Sunday, soaking up her optimism and listening to her fresh (and positive) perspectives, was prolly the gust that blew the dark clouds away.

Ding Dong Rakshasa Mar Gaya

I was gonna shut it from the mountain tops — DING DONG DING DONG vah mar gaya aur ab asha aayegi! — but since I'm playing The Matrix in the background and scanning through scholarly articles that touch on the movie (or the trilogy), I realized a couple of things:

1. I may think of him as an evil little shit but to so many others he wasn't and still isn't one. If you were 'born' and 'live' in the Matrix, telling you something else about your perception of reality isn't going to change your mind. And that's fine — some people are genuinely happier not ever knowing — but it's better to slowly and gently educated those than force them to look at something before they are ready to.
2. There's really no fucking point in remaining even a little angry at something dead, even if it had been an evil little shit while alive. My energy and resources are much better diverted to something more positive and productive. And instead of complaining of the mess and stink the evil little shit left behind for all the living to clean up, why not do something to make it better for everyone else in this swamp?
3. A lot of me runs on anger but, while anger has served me well and fueled certain passions and drive, it's now consuming me. And it's not healthy — not to mention helluva counterproductive. I must learn to ... ♫ let it go, let it go. ♫ (Haha.)

And, with this, I must focus on the lovely things.

Like, how I've taken a day off today (and how my day started with news that brought about hope).

Like, how I've finally collected my certificate in Visual Communication and spent almost two hours at the book sale held by the library at that art school. (I bought over a dozen items, mostly for my senior librarian, but a couple for myself too.)

Well, I didn't manage to make it to Mustafa to look at Hindi DVDs (those book sale items were heavy) but I guess that's how I managed to be thrifty this week. Anyway, I'm not sure I'm mentally ready to watch Ugly just yet ...

Shameless & Cheap

So they finally screened Om Shanti Om on the free-to-view channel today, saving me the mistake of buying the DVD and subsequent regret. (Thank you very muchly, Vasantham.)

Om is shameless and cheap. Actually, mostly just the 'Deewangi Deewangi' bit. I get — perhaps irrationally — fucking pissed off whenever old films are referenced, especially old films that aren't particularly good. Gawd, you drag all those 90s actors out, make them do a bit of a jig —like a trained monkey — all of five fucking seconds of screen time then they're nowhere to be seen.

No, I did get that the song was a post-awards function (aka The Great Circle Jerk) party/celebration thing. I still find that shameless and cheap. Way to draw attention to your not-too-great film.

The time I momentarily forgot that ostentatious gaudiness of stars from a bygone era in Indian cinema (although, to be fair, people like Dharmendra and Mithun Chakraborty are still in films, and Shabana Azmi is and will never be bygone) was when I saw Urmi! And Tabu! Urmi and Tabu in the same screen! Yay! Two of my favorite actors!

I don't know why I seem to have gone off SRK. That's sad ... because he's an actor I now assume will ruin a good film by just appearing in it (like Billu, which I'd put off watching for just that very reason).

Mental note to avoid all SRK, Farah Khan, Sajid Khan, and SRK+Farah Khan movies in the future.

Also, I'mma call Deepika Padukone 'Dimples' from now on. Lord, what adorable ones she has!

Goat Biryani & Philosophy

After I skipped out of the office at 13.30, I headed straight for Little India. Threading took less than three minutes and then I was walking around looking for that famous biryani place I've read about, called Bismillah.

Well, you know, with that name, I should've known I could expect a side dish of wisdom and philosophy with my delicious goat biryani and mango lassi because that was exactly what I got. As I was settling my bill, I fell into conversation with one of the proprietors who was at the cash register.

We talked mostly about food — his philosophy on food (although he didn't call it 'philosophy') — then veered into the general topic of living. It was a truly interesting conversation; there were many points I hope to remember and put into practice.

For instance, he said (something like): if you focus only on one thing in life, then you're like a horse with blinders. If you're obsessed with one thing, your life is just a dot. Life goes every which way — horizontally, vertically, diagonally, etc. — so why spend your time on earth remaining static in that dot?

Towards the end of our conversation (I mainly contributed by listening), he suddenly reminded me of Sergio. Sergio always emphasized logic; he said everything we do follows (or should follow) logic. The proprietor said everything we do has meaning. When he said that, I remembered Sergio's dimly lit office, my sitting in front of his desk, Sergio with his beloved Diet Coke, a glass, and a coaster, Sergio's illustration of logic using the glass and the coaster ...

The proprietor also said, avoid collisions with other people — it's better to walk away and avoid clashing with someone than get drive headlong into a crash because bad thoughts and words will only sour your day. Why choose to make life bad for yourself? This made me think of work, how I always get angry because I don't agree with the way things are and how things are done. I know, it's really not worth it; I should never get mad at work.

Then the proprietor asked, what is happiness? What is hell? Happiness the period between bad things happening in your life; hell, the period between good things happening. (I might've also read this somewhere else.) What is life but a cycle, no?

This lovely little interlude in the afternoon makes me think that I should do more things on my own. Serendipity finds me only when I'm on my own and I meet such lovely people. This was like that time when I stumbled upon a beautiful shop of statues and other artworks somewhere in Left Bank/Cuba Mall while I was waiting on my takeaway. The owner, who had been smoking outside his antique/art shop, started chatting with me and it ended with an invitation to dine with his wife on "authentic" Indian food.

I must really be out there on my own more often. Friends proffer buffer and safe spaces, but, as the proprietor had said, why remain in one spot when you can go anywhere, in every different direction?

Bridges & Shit

I know you shouldn't burn bridges when you leave because you never know when you might need help or to return, but what if burning ALL the bridges meant whatever nightmare and horror on the other side of the bridges won't be able to distress you ever again?

How bad must things get so that the burning of bridges is justified?

... I'm sure I'm just being impulsive as usual. Hopefully sleeping on it will bring about some sense and sensibility.

Sigh.

A Fucking Filthy NYE 2014

So, it's NYE and what do I do? Left the office for Little India for MORE DVDS!

I was hoping to get Delhi Belly, Krazzy 4, and Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana; I bought instead Dedh Ishqiya, Salaam-e-Ishq, and Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na ... which made me realize all those trips with lists of DVDs in hand and unable to find a single damn title? Why not just go with the flow? Select titles from the DVDs on the shelf, not trekking to and fro for a single title only to finally settle for a copy of dubious origins. Note to self: Go with the flow, girl, go with the fucking flow.

In any case, the Universe hath provided. I'm streaming Delhi Belly (thank you anonymous uploader!) and it's FUCKING HILARIOUS!

Like, I'd loved Kevin Smith's older flicks (from Clerks to Dogma; and later, Clerks II and Zack and Miri Make a Porno), and Delhi Belly seems to be something Smith would write, had he written Hindi flicks. (Of course, Smith's Delhi Belly would have waaaaay more fuck/fucker/fuckings, chut/chutiyas, bhenchods, and really, really inspired cussing.) The Nitin character (played wickedly well by Kunaal Roy Kapur) reminds me of Brodie. Holy shit, I think if I'd been just a little less disciplined, that would've been my student flat — I might've been Nitin in a different life ... =|

To me, Delhi Belly is prolly the best comic flick to have come out of "Bollywood". It's smart, it's dirty, and there's isn't a character I don't adore! From Vir Das to Vijay Raaz, they were all kickass (but hands-down favorite is Kunaal Roy Kapur)! I'm so glad this is my first Imran Khan flick and that he played his role wonderfully. And Shenaz Treasurywala and Poorna Jagannathan — why have I not seen them in movies more often? And in BIGGER roles?

LAWD, I haven't laughed so hard, so much, and so insanely since ... who knows when! Can't wait to get my hands on a proper original copy of this!!

Please please please please please produce more such movies, Abhinay Deo/Hindi film industry/Aamir Khan Productions!!!

May 2015 be as hilarious, filthy, and straight-up WICKED FUCKING AWESOME! (Also, I hope to finally catch up on the last decade or so that I'd missed of Hindi movies.)