Wow

With all those outlandish costumes, it's almost too much distraction from that lovely set of pipes. In a simple dress and a powerful set of pipes, Lady Gaga totally rocks!

And This Is Why ...

I absolutely ADORE Nargis Fakhri:

Quite frankly, that movie was on the meh side of just okay only, but outside of that movie (and any movie), Nargis is hilarious and adorable. "Ow, my vagina!" indeed!

That last bit when Arunoday Singh asked if she had just wiped her boogers on him and she just nodded (LOL!) — aww, she's just too precious!

And this other clip:

Arunoday is absolutely right. Nobody will even want to win an argument with that cute pout.

SHO SHO SHO CUTE <3<3<3!

(Nargis seems to share better chemistry with Arunoday than with Varun Dhawan. So how about casting opposite each other in a less stupid rom-com soon, eh?)

Lunacy

So the time of lunacy is once again upon us. Well, this year, at least, it came with a four-day weekend but I didn't manage to watch many flicks as I think I should have. What I did watch:

• Boss
  I watched this because it was the only Hindi movie on the free-to-view channel. It a dumb show but then I already expected that. Still, Boss has it highlights — like Akshay Kumar (still one of the most beautiful men in Hindi films; still excellent in action comedies but I do wish he'd choose his films with a little more discrimination), Ronit Roy (yeah, I found the ink ugly ass, but still — swoon!), and the best bit: the fight between these two men. Man, ACP Ayushman Thakur's pants are snug and what a nice ass that man has! That fight scene (with wet shirts and all!) is such a treat. MOAR PLZ! (Can Mr Khiladi do splits? I'd love to see that too!)
• Barah Aana
  Bought this and Sadda Adda on Wed after work since it was a half-day. It's an okay film — can't fault the actors, the main cast is very good — but I feel the script could've been a lot better. I'm not sure if I understood the ending correctly. Did Yadav and Aman get away with the final kidnap because Yadav told the police about the crime, both his accomplices' names, AND ask to be let off? I get that Shukla can't be charged because he is for all legal purposes dead and you can't charge a dead man? I need to rewatch this.
• Sadda Adda
  To be very honest, I bought this because I do like slacker flicks (and yet I still haven't watched Slacker) and thought this would be similar to Delhi Belly but without the shits, farts, and crime. Well, I was wrong. I thought the acting is decent even though not a single face is familiar. Did the Safai character only serve to make a point? It's too easy to say not to give up on your dreams, but to brush away suicide as giving up? Can you be any more insensitive?
• Raajneeti
  I would never have bought this; it just happened to come with the Sadda Adda DVD but I watched it anyway. I've never liked political films (unless Nayak counts?) and this one is quite a pointless watch. Pointless as in the Pyrrhic victory at the end. Why did Brij Gopal let spur Samar on in killing Sooraj even though Brij knew they were half-brothers? Why did the mother not ask Samar to please not shoot Sooraj and where was when the end of the movie was taking place? The problem with Raajneeti (well, one of the problems, at least) is that there are too many characters and every now and then, as I watched the movie, I wondered where the other characters were. And the characters prolly have no fucking idea what "pure heart" means. Stop calling each other that! With the exception of poor old Sarah and Indu, every single fucking one of you have blood on your hands. Plus point: well, at least I don't dislike Katrina Kaif now and her acting doesn't nauseate me. She also looks really great with Arjun Rampal (even though the man looks a bit wan ... like a druggie; but still beautiful). The both of them are as beautiful as each other, and share the same amount of acting abilities. Manoj Bajpayee and Nana Patekar are both terrifying. Honestly, they scare me when they play evil bitches. Hell, Nana Patekar scares me just by his being ...
• Jhootha Hi Sahi
  This I watched today after aerial yoga (thanks, MyStarMovies!). It's a sweet and funny enough movie and I quite like it. The Wiki page says it's the second in a trilogy so I do look forward to the final film, Mango(?). I adore the Aaliya and Sushi characters (yay, it's Aliya from Chak De!!) and am very glad the Amit and Uday characters are neither flamboyant nor swish. The name of the bookshop though — Kaagaz Ke Phool — LOL! It's a fucking awesome name for a bookshop! (Well, as long as its owner doesn't die a tragically unfulfilled death.) I'd watch this over Raajneeti any day.

Tashi Is A Dick

Nowadays I usually watch Delhi Belly starting from the scene in which Nitin delicately adorns with a flower the corpse he's photographing. To be honest, I just watch the bits Nitin is in — I just adore Nitin more and more!

On the other hand, the more I rewatch the movie, the more I think Tashi is a dick to Nitin. Like when Nitin says he has work to do (i.e. photography for blackmail), Tashi just drops the package in Nitin's scooter basket and stuff the scrap on which the address is written into Nitin's pocket.

Also, I just realized during yesterday's rewatch that Nitin actually doesn't smoke at all in the movie (though I could be wrong). In the last bit of the movie wherein the three dudes are hanging out at the flat's balcony, the cigarette between Nitin's fingers never goes anywhere near his lips; all he does is just take swigs from one of the two bottles in his hands.

GOOD. I hope at least he is a non-smoker and not an silent secondhand asshole murderer.

I was reading through the cast list yesterday and found out that the actor playing Mr Maharaj is called Neville. Neville LOL! And Tashi and Nitin share a birthday (Well, the actors playing them do)!

Oh lord, I really hope there's a sequel to Delhi Belly ... I'm beginning to know the dialogues by heart!

Weekend

When I was at Mustafa's on Friday, I'd bought Daawat-e-Ishq, Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster Returns, and I Am.

I'd intended to buy and watch Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster before getting its sequel but for so many months now couldn't find a copy at Mustafa's. I've been waiting and waiting but kept getting told, "Out of stock!" I'm tired of waiting; more importantly, I think I'm in a crime movie phase.

Unfortunately, the Universe isn't cooperating nor having any of that. No Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster, no A Wednesday!.

I'm not fond of the Godfather-type sagas, but maybe I should watch the epic of the Gangs of Wasseypur. Thing is, I also want happy endings in crime stories. Is that too much to ask?

Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster Returns I like a lot!

Oh. My. Lord. Mahie Gill. Apparently, I have a hitherto unknown attraction to not only sad women, but also slightly unhinged ones. She played the titular biwi so awesomely. Why haven't I seen her in more movies? (According to her filmography in Wikipedia, she was in an item number in Mirch, which I watched but had — as I am wont — ignored the item number. WTF was she doing in the shitty Dabanggs?!)

I'm building up to a desperation level almost equal to the time I was looking for Delhi Belly. Hope I won't have to head back to the overpriced shop for Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster ...

Also hoping for Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster to be at the very least a trilogy — the third one with Vijay Raaz and/or Nawazuddin Siddiqui. I mean, I believe Ranjhana's love for Aditya is true so I'm dying to find out how the ostensible love triangle will resolve.

But I won't lie: during the 'Idhar Gire' song, Madhavi and Ranjhana looked so good together, I was wishing really hard for them to fall madly in love. Don't they look so good together?

And that slightly bemused and lingering look Ranjhana directed at Madhavi as Madhavi walked away. Sitting on Aditya's lap, she only had eyes for Madhavi ... Yeah, I'd watch the hell out of such a twist in the tale. (Maybe for the third installment? I mean, I'd think Aditya would've been put away for at least a few years, and Madhavi seemed to have stepped into his shoes — politically — at the end of Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster Returns so why would she not take over his role as Ranjhana's spouse?)

Type-e-Ishq Redux: मिल गयी!

Saw Bhumika DVDs in Mustafa's last Friday and I knew for certain that the Daawat-e-Ishq title typeface isn't a custom-designed one ...

So I ran a quick Google search and found Benguiat Caslon:

My god, I think I have a crush on it. It's so sexy and beautiful!

LOL V.D.

Saw a tweet today which pointed out that Valentine's Day has the same initials as the other thing that "V.D." is more known as ...

And Vasantham decided to screen ... Shaadi Ke Side Effects. LOL your programming is hilarious and slyly subversive!

I watched Shaadi but it didn't help me figure out why straight people marry and breed. I actually like Pyaar Ke Side Effects quite a bit, but however much I adore Vidya and think she and Farhan Akhtar look so cute together, I like Shaadi less than I perhaps should. (Pyaar > Shaadi!)

I found the acting and the music both decent and likeable; guess it's just the story that didn't do much for me. I guess its premise is too 'grown up' for me for something.

But, yeah, thanks for scheduling a movie on V.D. that validates and strengthens the commitment-phobes' collective resolve to never marry.

This is truly a great public service for us all!

Goat Biryani & Philosophy

After I skipped out of the office at 13.30, I headed straight for Little India. Threading took less than three minutes and then I was walking around looking for that famous biryani place I've read about, called Bismillah.

Well, you know, with that name, I should've known I could expect a side dish of wisdom and philosophy with my delicious goat biryani and mango lassi because that was exactly what I got. As I was settling my bill, I fell into conversation with one of the proprietors who was at the cash register.

We talked mostly about food — his philosophy on food (although he didn't call it 'philosophy') — then veered into the general topic of living. It was a truly interesting conversation; there were many points I hope to remember and put into practice.

For instance, he said (something like): if you focus only on one thing in life, then you're like a horse with blinders. If you're obsessed with one thing, your life is just a dot. Life goes every which way — horizontally, vertically, diagonally, etc. — so why spend your time on earth remaining static in that dot?

Towards the end of our conversation (I mainly contributed by listening), he suddenly reminded me of Sergio. Sergio always emphasized logic; he said everything we do follows (or should follow) logic. The proprietor said everything we do has meaning. When he said that, I remembered Sergio's dimly lit office, my sitting in front of his desk, Sergio with his beloved Diet Coke, a glass, and a coaster, Sergio's illustration of logic using the glass and the coaster ...

The proprietor also said, avoid collisions with other people — it's better to walk away and avoid clashing with someone than get drive headlong into a crash because bad thoughts and words will only sour your day. Why choose to make life bad for yourself? This made me think of work, how I always get angry because I don't agree with the way things are and how things are done. I know, it's really not worth it; I should never get mad at work.

Then the proprietor asked, what is happiness? What is hell? Happiness the period between bad things happening in your life; hell, the period between good things happening. (I might've also read this somewhere else.) What is life but a cycle, no?

This lovely little interlude in the afternoon makes me think that I should do more things on my own. Serendipity finds me only when I'm on my own and I meet such lovely people. This was like that time when I stumbled upon a beautiful shop of statues and other artworks somewhere in Left Bank/Cuba Mall while I was waiting on my takeaway. The owner, who had been smoking outside his antique/art shop, started chatting with me and it ended with an invitation to dine with his wife on "authentic" Indian food.

I must really be out there on my own more often. Friends proffer buffer and safe spaces, but, as the proprietor had said, why remain in one spot when you can go anywhere, in every different direction?

Type-e-Ishq

I found a couple of unfavorable reviews for Daawat-e-Ishq and both said something about how the romance between Gullu and Taru is unrealistic because it took place over three days. I suppose they could be right; I mean, it is wholly believable that that two people could fall in love in three days, but perhaps not as realistic that they decide to marry within/after a week of meeting. Then again, stranger things have happened.

For viewers like me, because I found the two leads so lovable, it easy to accept Gullu's and Taru's relationship (and subsequent marriage). Of course, I'd have loved to have the courtship/getting-to-know-you bit stretch a little longer. In fact, I wish the script had sacrificed the Amju-Gullu thing in favor of Taru-Gullu. Like, I didn't need to know Amju and Gullu had been crushing on each other for a month, how they appear to be diametrically different people (veggie vs non-veg). I would prefer to have more Taru-Gullu conversations.

Anyway, I still like Daawat and 'Mannat' has become my earworm du jour. (It's the somewhat incantatory nature of the chorus, I think, that I like so much.)

What's not to love about the movie, really? Besides really adorable leads, Lucknow tourism and food porn, and music, there's a whole lotta kohl. Dude wore guy-liner the whole time — even when Pari's character wasn't wearing any! Eye-liner/kohl is totally my favorite thing to see on both genders.

One other thing I love about Daawat: the title typeface. God, I've always been a sucker for ball (and teardrop) terminals and there are some fucking gorgeous beauties in the titles:

It looks similar to Elephant but with customized swashes. (I actually don't think this typeface was customized for Daawat; I seem to recall seeing a typeface like this before).

WHAT IS THIS TYPEFACE — I HAVE TO KNOW!

(>_<)

So, today, another blood letting, another set of pills, and a day off work. Can't complain!

Finished Happy Ending this morning. I don't know what to think about this movie. Maybe a list will help:

Plus Side

• It's kinda interesting — the title-over of scenes; I'll like to see that used in other films
• Saif Ali Khan as the slobby schlubby The Dude-ish alter-ego — what can I say, I adore the Nitin-types. I would love to fill my life with at least one such guy so I'll always have someone to binge-watch movies and binge on junk food. And it'll always be the films I want to watch because he's too fucking lazy to fight my selection. What a perfect platonic life-mate!
• Kalki Koechlin!
• Laughs — I did get a few laughs in, although I'm not sure the laughs came where they were supposed to.

Down Side

• Casting — yeah, not sure Ileana d'Cruz was the right choice. I'd think maybe Kareena should be in that role but I'm afraid she'd've overdone it like she did in Jab We Met.
• A somewhat meta-story/story of a story of a story? Yeah ... No. I still cringe when I read back at my old stuff in which I employed what I now think is a rather lazy narrative structure.
• Govinda. UGH. No. Not even if he's parodying a has-been movie star. NO. Because Govinda.
• The story itself is a little weak, I think. Can't rom-coms be smarter? Maybe the scriptwriters should look to Shakespeare (10 Thing I Hate About You <3), Austen (Clueless; can't comment on Aisha since I've yet to watch it), or other classic stories (Easy A).

After Happy Ending, I decided I wanted something less ditzy, so I started watching Ek Villain because I thought it has garnered good reviews.

Yeah ... No. My bad.

First off, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS CIVILIZED AND DECENT, PUT A FUCKING WARNING IN THE OPENING TITLES IF KR-BLOODY-K IS THE DAMN SHOW. He is pestilence. I'd rather watch Vijay Raaz pour out Nitin's stool sample on a continuous loop than that fuckwit KRK in any scene, however short.

Two: Sidharth Malhotra. First time I saw him, it was in Hasee Toh Phasee. I didn't know who the leads were but fell in love with Parineeti Chopra straightaway. The male lead I hardly registered because he was hardly noticeable. Then I read a review which praised his "understated" performance and I was like, okay, maybe his character isn't a very flashy one. (And tbh, when Pari is on, she really just grabs my eyeballs and attention.)

Then I saw him again in that dumbass SOTY. Because I was so appalled by the amount of pecs and biceps flaunted and the lack of a homoerotic storyline between the two male leads, I didn't pay any attention to the acting. (I mean, it's really hard to watch the flick fully when I kept having to roll my eyes.)

Now Ek Villain. I can confirm that Sid Malhotra as an actor is about as emotive as a kettle.

Thirdly, Shraddha Kapoor had very little screen time. I don't know why I find MPDGs in Indian movies so ... exaggerated. Aisha is a bit of a MPDG and I could only tolerate it because she's easy on the eyes and had very few scenes (and a lot less shrill than Bebo as Geet).

The plot, acting by the lead, and KRK combined is making it a struggle for me to continue with the film. In fact, thanks to them, I'm now watching the original from which Villain was copied — I Saw The Devil (which, being a Korean revenge flick, is scarring me psychologically).

If Villain is remaking Devil, then the former made very. very, very, very fucking poor use of good materials. I mean, when Aisha died (I watched until the 56 min mark, having forwarded through the songs), I was too busy wondering why she had lived long enough to be killed by Rakesh to feel any sympathy for Guru. Didn't she say right at the beginning that she was dying (as a lazy way to explain the MPDG-ness of her character, because of course all dying people are immensely perky and cheery)? What was she dying of?

Also, let's face it: Sid doesn't do forcibly repressed emotions and clenched jaws anywhere as well as Lee Byung-hun in Devil. Hell, I'm rooting for Soo-hyun. In fact, I'm hoping Devil ends with the villain with amputated hands, legs, and tongue. Also, I was mightily impressed by Soo-hyun's cutting of Kyung-chul's Achilles tendon.

I wonder if I should finish Villain even if I have to hate-watch the rest of it. I suppose it'll make a good mental cleanser after the gore-rific Devil since Villain is so bland. (Oh lord, this is going to be like that time I watched Ichi the Killer in the uni library and then was terrified when walking home at sunset.)

Aww

Even though I was in Little India yesterday (with Geeta, at our regular, eating our regular) and visited Mustafa, I didn't buy any DVDs — I couldn't find A Wednesday! and couldn't think of what else to buy — which felt weird. Weird because it's become a habit for me to savor my new DVDs as I have my lunch after Sunday aerial yoga class. It's such a treat.

So I was completely lost today because I didn't know what to watch.

Finally settled on Daawat-e-Ishq (streamed, thank you anonymous uploader) which I'd been meaning to buy ... except I realize I make very poor choices when it comes to rom-com, resulting in my buying things like Yeh Jaawani Hai Deewani, Love Aaj Kal, and Teri Meri Kahani (I have still yet to unwrap the former two).

But Daawat-e-Ishq: awww. It' so sweet! I wonder why it's a flop at the box office. Is it the somewhat preachy tone at the start of the movie, or the slightly weak ending? Parineeti and Aditya Roy Kapur are so cute together, but then again Pari looks great with all her male co-stars so far (unlike Ileana d'Cruz whom I've found to not look compatible with any of her male co-stars in the two and a half movies I've watched of hers: Barfi!, Main Tera Hero, and Happy Ending).

For a movie with younger actors, I was surprised there was no kiss. I found the lack of at least one kiss at the denouement a little odd. Surely after saving each other from thugs, apologizing, forgiving, confessing your true love's passion, and finding your love reciprocated, a kiss wouldn't be amiss? (Does Aditya have a no-kiss clause? 'Cuz Pari definitely doesn't.)

Daawat-e-Ishq has a decent story — better than Main Tera Hero or SO-fucking-TY — and a likable and wholly competent main cast. The music is also decent, and, hello, FOOD PORN. On top of all that, it's at least a little educational, no? Teaching women about section 498A, letting everybody know women are fucking trash that can only be accepted if money is given, nor are men chattel to be auctioned off to the highest offer.

Hell yeah I'm definitely buying this the next time I'm at Mustafa!

(The word daawat is also the name of one of my favorite Indian eating places in Welly. One year, my girl friends arranged a surprise birthday dinner for me there and gifted me a gorgeous bag from Trade Aid with pretty embroidery and Rajasthani mirror work. So, yeah, I guess the word daawat has only very positive connotations for me.)

Reads & Flicks of the Month: January

Sadly, just finished one book (a short one, really) which I started last December or even before: The Daydreamer by Ian McEwan.

Flicks of the month:

• Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
• Salaam-e-Ishq
• Badmaa$h Company
• Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana
• Raat Gayi, Baat Gayi?
• Ishqiya
• Dedh Ishqiya
• Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania
• Jodi Breaker
• Finding Fanny
• Cheeni Kum
• Straight
• 7 Khoon Maaf
• Fashion
• Student of the Year
• Chennai Express
• Fatso!
• Teri Meri Kahani
• Kahaani
• Mardaani
• Main Tera Hero
• Nautanki Saala
• (Kick — actually, I fast-forwarded a lot because I was watching this for Nawazuddin Siddiqui)

I also watched the AIB Roast — I waited for it the entire day then watched it way past my bed time even though it was a work day the next day. I laughed a lot; I also thought a lot of the jokes were going for the lowest common denominator, but that's not actually offensive. The fact that K.Jo joined in on the gay jokes about himself raised my opinion of him — this I blame on AIB. I'm just really sorry they got into trouble for making people laugh and raising money for charity.

Who could've anticipated that good things could be deemed so bad, that there were so many nincompoops in the world?

Anyway, I waited again for 'I Am Offended' yesterday (or was it Wednesday?) and watched it way, way, way past bed time. It's worth it. I think everybody should watch it, regardless of whether or not they know who the folks in the video are; whether or not they are from/in India.

Because, for me, it is ultimately about how we can't have nice things because of selfish and ignorant and insecure assholes who make fucking loud stinks.

I mean, holy shit, nobody's putting a gun up your ass to force you to watch something on YouTube or get gay-married or whatever. Just because you don't want to do it doesn't mean you stop others from doing it, especially if whatever the others are doing isn't murdering, raping, maiming, robbing (etc.) anybody.

ARGH. SO. INFURIATING.

Wanted: Bee Charmer

Recently found out what "bee charmer" means — apart from charming actual bees ... and Nellie McKay's duet with Cyndi Lauper suddenly makes sense, because I could never figure out why that song was called 'Bee Charmer'.

Episodes is back! I was going to delay watching the new season but, having seen on AfterEllen talk of a lesbian affair (Carol! With her new boss!), I hurriedly started on season four.

Sigh, why couldn't I have a smart, funny, and kind boss who'd hit on me like Helen did Carol? Sure would be nice to have a bee charmer in my life ...

Weekend

Ek Tha Tiger the Hindi film on the free-to-view channel yesterday, so of course I headed to Mustafa again to buy DVDs and medjool dates before meeting Auntie Al, her client, and her girlfriend for dinner. I bought Dil Kabaddi, Special 26, and Mirch.

After I came home from aerial yoga today, I watched Dil Kabaddi. Since I haven't watched Husbands and Wives (and will never), I found Dil Kabaddi decent because I love the main cast. I didn't quite get the couple played by Rahul Bose and Konkana Sen Sharma, but I understood how problems came to be in relationships. Had I watched this film earlier in my life, I would've felt validated in my staunch belief in never ever getting (hetero) married for love. For anything else — economic, financial, legal reasons etc. — yes, go ahead and have your marriage of convenience.

The casting is lovely — Irrfan Khan, Rahul Bose, Konkana, Soha Ali Khan, and Rahul Khanna — I never thought I would be able to catch Irrfan, Rahul B., and Konkana together in a movie that won't make me cry and my heart ache! This is also the first time I saw Soha Ali Khan in a movie and I think she's a rather decent actor.

Anyway, 6.5/10 from me for Dil Kabaddi! (Can I please see Monty and Shruti again in another comedy?)

Next thing I watched was Special 26.

THANK GOODNESS I only took a glance through the sea of text that is its Wiki synopsis. I was on tenterhooks for second half of the film, wishing so hard there would be an ending that didn't consist of a poor girl waiting pointlessly at the airport and everybody else in jail. THANK YOU SCRIPTWRITER-DIRECTOR! (Mental note: Neeraj Pandey's other films to be on must-watch list.)

Special 26 is the Ocean's Eleven of Hindi cinema. Forget all the other shitty "(loosely) based on" ripoffs. Special 26 had as much cojones and kept me wondering how the hell they would get out of the situation with the loot. Hell yeah, Akshay Kumar made a great mastermind figure. AWESOME FILM! 8/10!

Currently rewatching Special 26. Less stressful because I now know I can expect a happy ending!