(>_<)

So, today, another blood letting, another set of pills, and a day off work. Can't complain!

Finished Happy Ending this morning. I don't know what to think about this movie. Maybe a list will help:

Plus Side

• It's kinda interesting — the title-over of scenes; I'll like to see that used in other films
• Saif Ali Khan as the slobby schlubby The Dude-ish alter-ego — what can I say, I adore the Nitin-types. I would love to fill my life with at least one such guy so I'll always have someone to binge-watch movies and binge on junk food. And it'll always be the films I want to watch because he's too fucking lazy to fight my selection. What a perfect platonic life-mate!
• Kalki Koechlin!
• Laughs — I did get a few laughs in, although I'm not sure the laughs came where they were supposed to.

Down Side

• Casting — yeah, not sure Ileana d'Cruz was the right choice. I'd think maybe Kareena should be in that role but I'm afraid she'd've overdone it like she did in Jab We Met.
• A somewhat meta-story/story of a story of a story? Yeah ... No. I still cringe when I read back at my old stuff in which I employed what I now think is a rather lazy narrative structure.
• Govinda. UGH. No. Not even if he's parodying a has-been movie star. NO. Because Govinda.
• The story itself is a little weak, I think. Can't rom-coms be smarter? Maybe the scriptwriters should look to Shakespeare (10 Thing I Hate About You <3), Austen (Clueless; can't comment on Aisha since I've yet to watch it), or other classic stories (Easy A).

After Happy Ending, I decided I wanted something less ditzy, so I started watching Ek Villain because I thought it has garnered good reviews.

Yeah ... No. My bad.

First off, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS CIVILIZED AND DECENT, PUT A FUCKING WARNING IN THE OPENING TITLES IF KR-BLOODY-K IS THE DAMN SHOW. He is pestilence. I'd rather watch Vijay Raaz pour out Nitin's stool sample on a continuous loop than that fuckwit KRK in any scene, however short.

Two: Sidharth Malhotra. First time I saw him, it was in Hasee Toh Phasee. I didn't know who the leads were but fell in love with Parineeti Chopra straightaway. The male lead I hardly registered because he was hardly noticeable. Then I read a review which praised his "understated" performance and I was like, okay, maybe his character isn't a very flashy one. (And tbh, when Pari is on, she really just grabs my eyeballs and attention.)

Then I saw him again in that dumbass SOTY. Because I was so appalled by the amount of pecs and biceps flaunted and the lack of a homoerotic storyline between the two male leads, I didn't pay any attention to the acting. (I mean, it's really hard to watch the flick fully when I kept having to roll my eyes.)

Now Ek Villain. I can confirm that Sid Malhotra as an actor is about as emotive as a kettle.

Thirdly, Shraddha Kapoor had very little screen time. I don't know why I find MPDGs in Indian movies so ... exaggerated. Aisha is a bit of a MPDG and I could only tolerate it because she's easy on the eyes and had very few scenes (and a lot less shrill than Bebo as Geet).

The plot, acting by the lead, and KRK combined is making it a struggle for me to continue with the film. In fact, thanks to them, I'm now watching the original from which Villain was copied — I Saw The Devil (which, being a Korean revenge flick, is scarring me psychologically).

If Villain is remaking Devil, then the former made very. very, very, very fucking poor use of good materials. I mean, when Aisha died (I watched until the 56 min mark, having forwarded through the songs), I was too busy wondering why she had lived long enough to be killed by Rakesh to feel any sympathy for Guru. Didn't she say right at the beginning that she was dying (as a lazy way to explain the MPDG-ness of her character, because of course all dying people are immensely perky and cheery)? What was she dying of?

Also, let's face it: Sid doesn't do forcibly repressed emotions and clenched jaws anywhere as well as Lee Byung-hun in Devil. Hell, I'm rooting for Soo-hyun. In fact, I'm hoping Devil ends with the villain with amputated hands, legs, and tongue. Also, I was mightily impressed by Soo-hyun's cutting of Kyung-chul's Achilles tendon.

I wonder if I should finish Villain even if I have to hate-watch the rest of it. I suppose it'll make a good mental cleanser after the gore-rific Devil since Villain is so bland. (Oh lord, this is going to be like that time I watched Ichi the Killer in the uni library and then was terrified when walking home at sunset.)

Weekend of Female Vengeance

One of my favorite genre of movies is the one where a wronged woman gets her revenge, served cold but deliciously punchy. For that reason, I only rewatch Ek Hasina Thi when Urmila's character starts toughening up, first by beating the shit out of her bully; then by fucking Karan over until she leaves him to the rats.

It's not really the schadenfreude I enjoy; it's watching women beating the ever-loving shit of out their attackers or whoever wronged them, get their revenge.

Yesterday, I finally saw Kahaani (which I bought on Friday). I'd put off watching it because I'd read the Wiki synopsis (spoilers and all), so I'd thought I'd not find the movie engaging. Boy, was I ever wrong ... (I only bought the DVD because I wanted to see Nawazuddin Siddiqui in a movie in which he has at least a supporting role; the kinda films in which he has a leading role are usually not my cuppa).

In fact, I found it very engrossing (despite Wiki's spoilers). Vidya Balan is just phenomenal in it. The three best things about Kahaani are: Vidya Balan, Nawaz (who was scary-intense; to watch Vidya calmly asserted herself, throwing his arrogant words back at him, was sweet as), and the sweet, shy Rana's crush on Vidya. My favorite scene is the rise of Durga in Vidya. The moment she opened her eyes and directed at Milan Damji a stare that burned with a thousand fires ...

... then proceeded to kick his fucking ass to hell. Yeah, asshole, you're fucking roadkill. That was when I tumbled over from mere admiration into devout worship of Vidya.

I mean, she stabbed him — twice! — with a fucking pencil. Who does that?! I love watching women kick ass, and Vidya did so with particular style. (That is prolly the scene I'll keep rewatching in days to come! I've already rewatched the entire film once today!)

And thank you for the sweet, sweet irony of a contract killer with a life insurance agent cover! Bob Biswas's unholy crossing of himself (with throat-slash motion) was also quite inspired. (The one aspect Kahaani failed in was everything that has do with computers and 'hacking' — couldn've been done better. Did the writers/director not have a consultant for this?)

So, after rewatching Kahaani today, after my Nautanki Saala (just bought on Friday, with Kahaani) failed to work, and I'd thrown a fit, I went in search of something that isn't an insipid love story ... Found Mardaani.

Mardaani I also avoided watching (even though I adore Rani Mukherji and read good reviews of the film) because I can't stand watching children get sex-trafficked and harmed in any way. But, today, watched it I did.

I like Rani in it; the film, on the other hand, is still a little too masala for the direction it tried to go. It was a little hard for me to completely believe Rani's character was able to physically kick ass because her face is so sweet and innocent. (By god, they gave her bangs and long hair for this — what?! Look, I'm not expected the tough-woman pixie cut nor G.I. Jane's crew cut, but bangs?! An easily grabbed long plait/ponytail?! The fuck ...)

But kick ass she did — and, by that part of the movie, I enjoyed the hell out of it (and also the fact that she wasn't afraid to hit below the belt). And hell yeah I enjoyed the girls venting their collective fury on the shithead. It was, for that moment, extremely cathartic (for me).

Because movies are vicarious for viewers, no?