Well. Finally made an appointment to see a doctor at Student Health.

... but I feel a little better now, really. Except for the fatigue. Or maybe it's just lack of sleep. Tiredness. We'll need to sleep earlier.

My dad will be dropping in for the next two days. Where to go, what to see? Welly's so boring. Sigh.

Health-wise, this has been one fucking crappy week. Yes, I'm convinced there's something wrong (but, again, I am a bit of a hypochondriac). I'm making an appointment to see the doc next week, after my period ends (started on Friday), and because my lower back pain always escalates during my period, I'll wait to see if all (or most) of my problems would disappear once my period ends.

Today, I've a tight chest (which I suspect is caffeine-induced) - and still do - and the vague numbness has migrated from my left little finger to my right upper arm. In addition, both arms suffer from twinges despite the fact that I'd skipped my silks class yesterday; am also feeling light-headed, but I suspect it's my blood loss.

Growing old really sucks balls. Seriously.

Gotta go home and see my doc. And, one of the first things I'm going to do when I get back home will be to see Desmond about removing that microdermal. I think I'm past the piercings (but not the ink).

Looping Handel's 'Lascia ch'io pianga' (from Farinelli OST) and 'Ombra mai fu' (from Cecilia Bartoli's Sacrificium; free download available at NPR). Lovely.

So. By the time I finished up the draft of one part of my research essay, it was about 02:30. I tossed and turned in bed til about 03:00 then finally gave in and popped an Actifed (it's a drowsy formula).

I set my alarm for 08:30 because I had to see my supervisor at 10:30 this morning, but I woke all on my own at 06:57.

God. What's wrong?

Took a quick stock of my life as I was in the shower, and I realized I haven't been pain-free ... since 2004. (And by 'pain' I meant lower back pain.) How could I have spent 5 years in pain and ... not realized it? I mean, I am cognizant of the pain, every waking moment - and some days are worse than others - but because I still do the stuff I want to do, whether I am in pain or not, I've learned to relegate it to the periphery of my consciousness; it's become the niggling ache I can - at best - ignore.

That's just not done. Not anymore.

I'm going home. And once I'm home, I'm going to my doctor's and ask silly little questions (which I'll now google about) about my back and all my joints.

Right now, I'll work on cutting down on my sugar intake (which will be tough, because I've been mainlining sugar since I was in pigstails) because I think it might be interferring with my ability to concentrate. (I'm guessing it's sugar as a second choice; my first would be just plain disinterest.)

I'm going to take up pilates to work on my core muscles in the hope that a stronger core will take the stress - and therefore pain - off my lower back.

Also, I've been thinking lately of taking up jazz. Again. If I do start jazz (again), I'll make bloody sure to stick with it this time.

Had my ME exam yesterday. Boy did I tank, but man am I glad to be done with that. I'd been indirectly stressed out by it the whole of last week - mainly because I knew I should be studying but couldn't be arsed which guilt-tripped me heavily. Since I've been watching House lately, I wondered last night as to the purpose of guilt: what is the purpose of guilt?

I'd been studying here and there, but yesterday, before my paper, I found an interesting debate which I just had to see in full before I headed out, the motion being: The Catholic Church is a force for good in the world.


(The rest of the debate here.)

It is, I feel, a skewed debate as one side has more intelligence than the other. (Also: ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTIONS, DAMNIT! Don't squirm and deflect and pretend ignorance in order not to answer questions you don't like. I can see the squirming despite the glare of light off your thick, thick chain and big, big ring.)

Disclaimer: I <3 Stephen Fry; I've been looking up to him (metaphorically) since I was 16, and should I ever meet him in person ... I'll still be looking up to him (literally).

Am reading - and liking - this thread on the Blue.

Especially: "New Zealand: Don't expect too much and you'll love it."

Yes, I think the problem this year has been that Welly has fallen way below my expectations in terms of pole and generally dance stuff. I've been less than impressed by the standards here (and I'm not talking about the Royal NZ Ballet).

On the slightly bright side, there's this:


(C has a Beached As T-shirt from Supre!)

... and there's Bro'Town (which makes us laugh even as we choke out, "This is SO. WRONG ... HAHAHAHAHA!")!

Some pictures I found in my cellphone. (Yes, I'm procrastinating; is it obvious?)

Fog over the harbor, some random evening



Sunset from the study window, some random evening


C wanted a picture of this license plate, some random weekend


At the Pak N Sav in Taupo (I thought it was really funny), that weekend in Taupo


From a toilet cubicle in the school library, prolly the one on Level 7, 09/09/09


An adorable window display, possibly from Kirkcaldie & Stains, on that fateful day we decided to have dinner at the very sub-par-next-to-which-any-dingy-ol'-fish n' chips-counter-is-gourmet-dining Long Bar, 09/12/09


Shoes which I would never have worn in Singapore; while waiting for someone to let me into the studio, 09/14/09


Someone at New World Metro can't tell longans apart from lychees, 10/20/09


Really quite in need of spelling - or typing - lessons (possibly both); entrance doors of MacLaurin, just after I finished my ENGL 402 exam, 10/27/09

And just this morning, I got to sit next to Sandy Rankine on the couch as I waited the rain out!

The Icelandic film night at Christine's was rather fun. She and Robert put on Cold Fever, then served freshly made pizzas for dinner. After sliced apples with a sweet cream and a story about St. Swithun (I still don't really get the how the apples and cream are connected to St. Swithun), it was decided that Reykjavik 101 would be screened, which is a film I've been trying to find but Civic Videos just doesn't carry the title.

The films were great; I enjoyed them more than Noi the Albino, which C once rented.

I don't suppose anybody does deadpan humor and understatements better than the Icelanders.

Sigh. Back to work. Research essay. Middle English.

I miss pole.

Old Norse exam next Tue, right off the Labor Weekend, then the Middle English one 2 weeks after that.

Still haven't touched my research essay and it's so bad it should be flushed down the crapper. Literary Linguistics (LING 410) about to start next month, and we're given 4 books to read (Faust, Eric, Cat's Cradle, and What Maisie Knew). I've to go search for them as the lecturer didn't think it necessary to order them in at the uni bookshop. Well, not a bad thing I suppose, as that gives me an excuse to traipse around the second-hand bookstores for used copies. Books here are SO. FUCKING. EXPENSIVE.

But I found a copy of The Collected Dorothy Parker for NZD 10 at Quilters, now happily relocated on Ghuznee, sharing floor-space with milkcrate, so I'll quit bitching about having to source for my own books. For now.

Back to studying. Sigh.

Am I stressed out? Yes, definitely. Yet, I'm quite unsure why ... exactly. I made a list of things that need doing/completing this 2-week break, and I started with my Old Norse translation. I've done more than needed. And needlessly so.

So now I'm left with the important stuff. Like, my research essay (halfway into the trimester and STILL NOT STARTED) and my ME project.

I've been trying to motivate/force myself to start my research essay today. Not only do I have to meet with my supervisor this break about it (I was planning to do it tomorrow, but I've got nothing, so why bother trekking to school to present nothing?), I also NEED TO START RESEARCHING IT.

Damn it, studying's not for me.

I'm just looking forward to the Taupo trip with C this Friday. Maybe I'll sleep better this weekend and not feel so stressed by my lack of motivation and seemingly increasingly mountainous workload.

Because all I really feel like doing is: 1) pole; and 2) watch Bones.

Sigh.

I passed my ME test! It's the last week of school before the mid-trimester break and I feel swamped. Lots of translation and reading to do.

And I still haven't started on my research essay.

And I gotta see my supervisor about it next week.

Sigh.

But above all that, I quite look forward to the weekend trip we're gonna be taking to Taupo next week.

No updates for a whole week means one of two things: 1) My life is in the shitter and someone's pulled the flush; or, 2) I'm living it up to much too have time to blog. Sadly, in this case, it's the former.

Gah.

I'm struggling. I can't focus, I'm not disciplined. I can't study no more. I aced that translation test but it's only 5% of total course grade. Today, I flunk my ME test, which is 20% of course grade. FUCK.

And now, I've over 300 lines of translation to do; 200 or so of which is due by Friday. AND I gotta finish reading Grettis Saga and Njals Saga.

However, I loved the weekend. C took leave for Fri and Mon so she was home the whole time, and I watched some movies with her. I can't wait for when I'm free to play with the new toy.

I'm thinking ... maybe chili con carne. Or maybe a tagine.

Hm ...

Sat night: Out of anxiety (for the ON translation test on Mon) and/or the movies I watched that day with C (The Cave, Apocalypto, and Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire), I had an anxious dream that night which involved Mrs. E. Lim and Mrs. Cheng. More than 10 years after being taught by them, I still dream about them - and usually (only) when I'm anxious. Hm.

Today: Made 3 Cup Chicken for dinner tonight. I came across several recipes - some called for fresh Thai basil, some called for spring onions and suggested the basil is optional - since I couldn't find any fresh Thai basil, I used spring onions. I couldn't find any shaoxing or huadiao wine either at Yan's, so I got (glutinous) rice wine, which is the only type of Chinese cooking wine there is.

I've never tasted 3 Cup Chicken before, but I was a little disappointed by my dish. C seemed to like it though, so I guess it wasn't too bad.

Sigh.

I'll be the first to admit to being a paranoid hypochondriac, but, really, I am feeling the pain, man.

My lower back pain might be due to - oh, I don't know - walking up to school via Vivian St. (of merciless and relentless steep slopes and stairs) 3 times a week; could be due to pole. Whatever. It all boils down to having a woefully weak core and a past slipped disc.

My right knee I'm not so sure about. It was the knee on which I'd taken a crash, but it also might be Vivian St.'s killer inclines and stairs. C think it's something to do with old age and sitting for too long at my desk. Yesh ...

My right shoulder I'm pretty sure about: I slept on it for a wee bit this morning. That should be the reason the ache and stiffness. This never happened before!

Gaaah.

I'm positively geriatric ... =(

(So I started taking glucosamine again.)