Tue 25 May 2010

10:49 - multigrain toast with strawberry jam, and black coffee.

Sun 23 May 2010

13:28 - toast with Nutella and strawberry jam, tuna-raisin melt, and black coffee.

Maybe it's as simple as B12.

Maybe that's what I need, instead of TIP-TOEING THE FUCK AROUND.

Came across this three-year old article (and this related piece) this morning, and couldn't recall a sad song I'd heard in recent years.

The only two songs of which lyrics made me sad when I first heard them as a kid raised on oldies, who didn't know who Michael Jackson was 'til 1993, were 'Tell Laura I Love Her' and 'Honey'.

	Ray Peterson - Tell Laura I Love Her .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

	Bobby Goldsboro - Honey .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Everything else after that just made me happily depressed to the point of suicide. What is a "sad song" anyway?

Songs sung blue, with a "cry in your voice"?

Thu 20 May 2010

10:27 - a tart C bought me from Le Moulin, three peanut-butter crackers, and black coffee.

Today's music: Margaret Leng Tan and the toy piano. Way adorable!

'Eleanor Rigby'


'Nothing is Real (Strawberry Fields Forever)'


'Dinky Toys'

When a vicious Brazilian wax job would feel like a mind-blowing orgasm in comparison.

Wed 19 May 2010 (Happy Jen's Birthday!)

09:35 - pain aux raisins (which C bought me from Le Moulin yesterday), and black coffee.

After yesterday's decision, I spent over five hours compulsively trawling through free and streaming tracks.

Not new music, not the newest and hottest [insert hip genre] music, but nice music - even a nice collection of digitized 78 RPMs and cylinder recordings.

I'm gonna cue this up every time I feel like a black-and-white silent weepy punctuated by kicks from a fat opium-puffing master before concluding with a hacked-up TB-ridden lung on a bloody white handkerchief:



Soundtrack of my life!

Tue 18 May 2010

10:48 - the last of the jambalaya, Salada crackers with Nutella, and black coffee.

Oye.

My back - it fucking hurts, and I can't bend over without whimpering.

It's that time of the month again when my uterus starts throwing tantrums like a two year old, fists banging and legs kicking, so that I feel as old and bloated as a geriatric whale.

And its partner in crime - the brain - keeps screaming to EAT MORE CHOCOLATE. MOOOOOARRRRR!

Seriously.

I only wish this were a parody of the effects of menstruation, but, alas, that stereotype is true.

I should start seeking out and listening to new music again.

My old darlings, I hope you're all still out there, and have not been (forced to or otherwise) shut down. I miss you, and I'm coming!

Other than watching Tough Love, I also got C hooked on Tool Academy. Tool Academy is Tough Love for men ... except - waitaminute! - can men really change?

It appears they can! And it's hysterical watching these jock-clowns tear, weep, and plea their way to conjugal nights and USD 100,000. (Could Tool Academy be a twenty-first century interpretation of Lysistrata? Maybe!)

And their nicknames, they're hilarious! Matsuflex? What's that supposed to be - a vacuum cleaner?!

Finally, the cherry on top of the icing: homoerotic sexiness!

I hope we get The Pickup Artist on free-to-air telly soon!

Mon 17 May 2010

10:55 - leftover jambalaya, and black coffee. (I'd been munching on caramel popcorn prior.)

Dearest Inconsiderate-Fuckers-Who-Live-Upstairs:

Is there a reason for the innumerable and inexplicable loud bumps and thuds to our ceiling (aka your floor)?

Are you hunters? Butchers? Taxidermists? Wrestlers? Axe murderers?

Do you have OCD that compels you to move your furniture around every day?

Would you mind if I snuck up one night and peed all over your front door? Don't worry, I'll also be sure to leave a nice big steaming pile of Number Twos in your mailbox.

You're very much welcome.



Yours faithfully,

Guess-Who-Wishes-For-Much-Stabbitystabstab-Action-On-Your-Hobbit-Feet

Sun 16 May 2010

11:31 - Vita-Weats with onion dip, multigrain toast with Nutella and red plum jam, and black coffee.

It's PMS. I know it's PMS.

It's because I crave chocolate, and am feeling mopey and why-bother-it-sucks-and-I-suck-more.

I also have random thoughts about stuff I should be doing, stuff I want to be doing, stuff I think I can do, and stuff I just know I can't do - why am I so useless, NO I'M NOT! - stuff I should be doing.

Also: how to move furniture around the flat so the flat looks even smaller?

Sat 15 May 2010

10:31 - multigrain toast with Nutella and red plum jam, and black coffee.

So eventually it will get to the point where you're bored and maybe a leeetle depressed and unconsciously begin to engage in destructive behaviors.

Like eating. And eating. And eating. And eating.

Even then, you get bored of eating. And eating. And eating. And eating.

And you think about how else to spend money.

Like ONLINE SHOPPING.

Thu 13 May 2010

09:27 - English muffin with egg and shredded chicken (sprinkled with Cajun seasoning), and black coffee.

I persuaded C to watch Tough Love (season 2) with me last night.

It's a sexist and misogynist 'reality' show hosted by an obnoxious assface from Philly who seems to hate all women except HIS MOMMY DEAREST, showcasing single women (some HOT, some VERY NOT; some sane, some not; all with issues that make us human - except when exhibited by said women, in which case such issues are CLEARLY WOMAN PROBLEMS from which said women must be cleansed of to be Stafford Wives for the heaven-sent gifts to woman-kind that are MEN).

Or, more aptly:





It's addictively trashy.

Tue 11 May 2010

10:12 - English muffin halves with red plum jam, and black coffee.

09:59 - multigrain toast (PBH, and margarine and kaya). Coffee with milk (ugh).

10:48 - English muffin halves with red plum jam, and black coffee.

I'm thinking I want to do something stupid.

Like switching over to the new editor on Blogger so that I can shorten every post from when I started keeping track of the junk I shove daily into my mouth with a jump break, then switching back to the current "old" one because the new one is COMPLETE SHITE when it comes to sorting the layout of newly uploaded photos.

It's not like I've anything better to do ... except maybe be depressed by my job search.

Sat 8 May 2010

12:44 - chicken fried rice, an English muffin with red plum jam, and black coffee.

I'm actually learning quite a bit about myself watching the Dogs 101 clips on Youtube.

For instance, I learned that like brachycephalic dogs my flat face is the reason behind my heinous sinus problems; and, like the English Bulldog who has to breathed through its mouth, am prone to snores and farts.

I also learned that humans, like dogs, are often judged (implicitly or not) by the Stanley Coren's criteria. Thus, stubbornness often equates stupidity.

I'm also as stubborn as a bulldog.

My dad just called to tell me my "certificate" declaring I have "First Class Honors in English" has arrived in my other home, and that he had taken a photo and a color scan of it, and also printed a color copy, and will be emailing me the soft copy.

I think he might just be a little proud of me ... even though he - like me - realizes how expensively and utterly useless that piece of paper is.

After I did some work today - and it's work I've been doing since yesterday's 10:00 - I got a little bored and poked around Blogger's Dashboard.

So what I'd mastered was the Jump Break which looks like this:

09:07 - five Vita-Weats with hummus, five pork balls, and black coffee.

Tue 5 May 2010

09:58 - assorted cookies (didn't finish them), and black coffee.

This.

How long will it be before I hit a daily average of ten posts and fifty tweets?

And then there's also twitter, which is just a fancier name for "in a hundred-and-forty letters or fewer" - or, "what I'm texting to the internets (and occasionally my friends)".

Because:

I wake up (later and later these days) and boot up and check the vacancies pages and get depressed about what looks interesting and what I think I'm qualified to apply for. They never coincide.

Then, to cheer up, I decide to think about this week's dinner menus and the recipes I'm dying to try out.

I write down grocery lists but don't go out - because my back hurts/my head feels heavy/my eyes are swollen/it's too cold/too sunny/too windy.

That's why all you see are (badly taken) pictures of what I ate.

Sun 2 May 2010

11:45 - PBH (honey) on multigrain toast. Coffee with milk.

10:42 - egg and spam sandwich on multigrain toast (ugh, WAY too salty). And coffee with milk.