Oye.

My back - it fucking hurts, and I can't bend over without whimpering.

It's that time of the month again when my uterus starts throwing tantrums like a two year old, fists banging and legs kicking, so that I feel as old and bloated as a geriatric whale.

And its partner in crime - the brain - keeps screaming to EAT MORE CHOCOLATE. MOOOOOARRRRR!

Seriously.

I only wish this were a parody of the effects of menstruation, but, alas, that stereotype is true.