Tommy Roe - 'Dizzy'

Album: Dizzy

It was pretty bad today; felt like I was floating when I was in motion, and when seated, like there were tremors from an earthquake.

Occasionally I get some kinda 'white-out' (don't know what else to call it) when I move from a seated to a standing position, but today, it was getting from a standing to seated position that had been a bit of a problem.

Gah ... Need. Sleep.

On the other hand, this kinda light-headedness makes for a rather surreal out-of-body experience.

Pizzicato Five - 'Baby Love Child'

Album: Made in USA

I feel kinda bad that I couldn't stop my eyes drifting downwards when we were together this afternoon (lunch, then shopping for maternity jeans), because she is an old friend. But ... boobs are boobs! (Right ...?) =(

So I think I got punished this evening. Just earlier this week I was telling someone dirty dancing was more detrimental to my baby than pole practice was, but now - BAM. Fucking huge and painful collision.

My baby hurt more, but at the end of the session, I found Anna so bloody I could hardly see her crystal ball.

Desmond's gonna murder me tomorrow ...

Jimmie Vaughn - 'Dengue Woman Blues'

Album: From Dusk Til Dawn OST

Horoscope suggested it; I took it. Played hooky from work. Was so tired I felt I could collapse.

Went back to bed around 9 AM and woke up just in time for lunch. Watched Invisible Waves (Tadanobu has lovely hair!).

Hmm. I like playing hooky.

Think I'll go dance now.

As of this moment, this is the best advice a horoscope has ever given.

Ennio Morricone - 'Paranoia Prima'

Album: Death Proof OST

Occurred to me today that I should be fretting over whether or not that boy would post all those pictures he took of Jit and me on Saturday; but then I remembered: The more salacious the shot, the more obscured my face had been. 'Tis all good. Still, I shall be mighty pissed off if I found anything online ...

On the the bleaker side, was asked if I'd be into a threesome.

So tired these days I feel dizzy half the time. The cab driver reminded me that the lack of sleep would lead to older-looking skin.

Will resolve to sleep earlier on weekdays.

Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich - 'Hold Tight'

Album: Death Proof OST

The first of the goodbyes have started. Hege, today; Saket, tomorrow. Later on, Min; and still later on, Rach. I don't know if I'd ever say goodbye myself.

People come, and people go; I just wish some of them would stay a little longer. Especially those who have made such a difference in my life, who have helped shaped a part of what and who I am now.

But I also hope this means I'll be saying hellos real soon, too, to new people, and to the familiar ones who should return.

तो अलविदा नहीं - फिर मिलेंगे मेरे दोस्तों.

Tito & Las Tarantulas - 'After Dark'

Album: From Dusk Til Dawn OST

Retroactively unsatisfied.

I want to dance some more. I want to learn new moves.

Gotta stop dirty dancing.

Coasters - 'Down In Mexico'

Album: Death Proof OST

Hungry as hell. Pissed off that my high had worn off before I got home.

Insult to injury: I feel so cheap and used too.

I will consider being a fluffer again - but only if I get paid to do it. No more dirty dancing. No more getting it on with a prick-tease.

Gah. Wash make-up off. Brush teeth. Shower. Moisturize lips. To bed.

Desmond's gonna be exasperated with me the next time I go to him (prolly Tuesday); especially after Sanice told me (just on Friday) that my baby was healing well, too.

=(

Nine Inch Nails - 'The Downward Spiral'

Album: The Downward Spiral

So the blood tests results came back. I was expecting a clean bill; it wasn't. Nothing too serious according to my doc; the results read:

Dyserythropoietic changes present suggestive of thalassaemia trait. There is a mild leucopenia. No early cell seen.

Bottom-line: 15-25% of my blood is "bad" (his word), and I prolly have alpha thalassemia trait.

I've always known I was defected, but the older I get, I realize I'm actually more defected than I'd thought. According to Wikipedia, "Thalassemia Minor often coexists with other diseases such as asthma[5], and mood disorders[6]."

Both physically and psychologically defected.

Not only am I cursed by the stars, I'm also damaged goods ...

=...(

The Mountain Goats - 'Love Love Love'

Album: The Sunset Tree

This is my one and only achievement in an otherwise completely unproductive day:



I won spectactularly!

And my current track record stands at:

Jithra [...]: You won. Final Score: 0 to 60
Blake [...]: You won. Final Score: 9 to 55
Cheryl [...]: You won. Final Score: 16 to 48
ChihLeng [...]: You won. Final Score: 13 to 51
ChihLeng [...]: You won. Final Score: 46 to 18
Jithra [...]: You won. Final Score: 54 to 10
Keith [...]: You won. Final Score: 45 to 19
Hannah [...]: You won. Final Score: 5 to 59
Rachel [...]: You won. Final Score: 57 to 7
Bana [...]: You won. Final Score: 16 to 48
Louise [...]: You won. Final Score: 8 to 56

Whoever Cheryl is, she's one helluva player, the best I've come across so far, even if the score doesn't reflect that. I stayed up till 2 AM this morning, playing with her. Gave me quite a challenge.

I like.

=)

Catatonia - 'Mulder And Scully'

Album: International Velvet

Heard this song in my head in the middle of the work-day. Cause: Obviously not work-related.

:::

Finally saw her the first time in - I don't know - maybe four years. She still looks as she did back then, but she couldn't be more different than the girl in the first two years of our friendship.

She's like an Earth Mother, forever my idol and superstar.

"All you need is a dream." Wise words from a wise woman-child.

Maybe that could be my motto from now on.

Panic! At The Disco - 'But It's Better If You Do'

Album: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

Just a quick note in-between my waiting for my opponents to make their moves: I'm fucking (re-)addicted to the boardgame that's named for a certain overly-suspicious husband (or maybe not - I don't know).

That, and Scrabulous.

So if you're reading this, and you're on the Facebook (I mean, really, who isn't?), please add the apps and invite me to a game (or two dozens). If I'm able to beat you at one, then you'll prolly be able to rout me in the other (I've never played Scrabbles until today - pretty odd for an English major - and I suck like your best vacuum at it).

Gah! I can't get outta the games! I keep clicking on the "Start a random game" because ... gawd forbid anybody should take longer than a minute to make their next move ... =|

Cassie - 'Just One Night'

Album: Cassie

Such a headache tonight. Focus switched to a more trivial (yet no less stressful) item: Saturday, party, no costume, pressure to put on "scarlet lipstick" because "it'll look great with your complexion".

I mean, I figure I look scarier if I went as ... my regular ol' self, sans make-up and hair-care. Also, I really don't wanna go as The Fugliest Blind Drag Queen In The World ...

To all those so-called friends who, in reply to my request for costume suggestions ("something that's completely not me"), answered, "Angel": Thanks for nothin'!

=/

John Wesley Harding - 'I'm Wrong About Everything'

Album: High Fidelity OST

Been having strange dreams lately. Although they aren't really nightmarish or distressing, I know they're born of the anxiety I'm trying to ignore and not let get to me.

Stress is not having enough time and energy to complete everything, because I don't know how to prioritize. In addition to putting together an application, I owe Christine a topic (due tomorrow, before she goes on sabbatical; with the five-hour difference, I'm really not gonna make it), and have Jess's manuscript to edit.

All by this week.

And Wednesday through Friday (and prolly Saturday as well) will be taken up by dance (pole, belly, and exotic).



- No.

I'll smile and make it.

Because I must.

Jay Gordon - 'Slept So Long'

Album: Queen of the Damned OST

Woke up at 13:00 plus today - a first (and personal triumph).

Am I selfish ... or just human? Maybe a horribly selfish human.

Wondering (for the umpteenth time) whether my life fucks up or I do - or is that just the way things are for me? My heart tells me no, my mind tells me I know better; for once they're in accord.

Yet I still choose to ignore them.

'S okay; will only look stupid, and I deserve it - and everything else I have coming.






What the song says.