It's not everyday we're gonna be the same way
There must be a change somehow
There are bad times and good times too
So have a little faith in what you do
'Cause you don't seem to realize
The things you've got to face in life
Today you're up, tomorrow you're down
So thank god that you're still around town
Though we've got to work like slaves
Just to eat a piece of bread
But as we go along each day we'll find
Happiness to sooth the mind 'cause
It's not everyday we're gonna be the same way
There must be a change somehow
There are bad times and good times too
So have a little faith in what you do
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Dennis Brown - 'Things in Life'
Album: Anthology 1970 to 1995
Dennis Brown - 'Things in Life'
Album: Anthology 1970 to 1995
The aftermath's just the same as having just (barely) recovered from a bad bout of stomach flu. I was consciously handling myself with kid gloves today, trying to spot a potential trigger before it could trigger me.
Was mostly fine today (boss wasn't in office), even with a marked lack of appetite; but as I was sent out to walk the dog, I almost had a mild relapse - it was like knowing you're about to vomit, but desperately hanging on to the fine balance needed to not hurl your insides out. Now I finally understand why Auntie Al'd needed someone to talk to 24/7 at her worst period. It could be terrifying otherwise.
Didn't want music as I walked, but when I did turn the mp3 player on, I found this song to be somewhat calming.
The aftermath's just the same as having just (barely) recovered from a bad bout of stomach flu. I was consciously handling myself with kid gloves today, trying to spot a potential trigger before it could trigger me.
Was mostly fine today (boss wasn't in office), even with a marked lack of appetite; but as I was sent out to walk the dog, I almost had a mild relapse - it was like knowing you're about to vomit, but desperately hanging on to the fine balance needed to not hurl your insides out. Now I finally understand why Auntie Al'd needed someone to talk to 24/7 at her worst period. It could be terrifying otherwise.
Didn't want music as I walked, but when I did turn the mp3 player on, I found this song to be somewhat calming.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Well. It's gotta happen; better now than when I don't have any of my paperweights and supports around.
Tonight a Cat. 5 ripped right through and I sat for a long time gasping and thumbing through my phonebook. After two runs, I called Jason.
The catalyst ... it's kinda Mephisto (indirectly), but everything else that'd been hanging out in the background for the last few weeks/couple of months had also been snowballing.
The aftermath is just debris.
It's not a bad thing - I don't have the nausea or the gasping anymore - but we'll see about tomorrow.
Tonight a Cat. 5 ripped right through and I sat for a long time gasping and thumbing through my phonebook. After two runs, I called Jason.
The catalyst ... it's kinda Mephisto (indirectly), but everything else that'd been hanging out in the background for the last few weeks/couple of months had also been snowballing.
The aftermath is just debris.
It's not a bad thing - I don't have the nausea or the gasping anymore - but we'll see about tomorrow.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
After dinner, I watched bits of a local TV station's forty-fifth anniversary anniversary/gala-thingy - a channel I'd watched daily during childhood - so when a retrospective of the all the programs they'd created came up, it was a bit of a stroll down nostalgia lane.
But I realized, while I enjoyed the nostalgia, viewing the passage of time is terrifying for me, and it induced a sudden panic attack and severe case of insecurity.
Because I'm reminded that the passage of time is relentless and merciless, and even though I age with every second, I still feel as helpless and scared and dependent as a child on the inside.
My security blanket of choice: 'The Four Quartets' and 'The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock'.
But I realized, while I enjoyed the nostalgia, viewing the passage of time is terrifying for me, and it induced a sudden panic attack and severe case of insecurity.
Because I'm reminded that the passage of time is relentless and merciless, and even though I age with every second, I still feel as helpless and scared and dependent as a child on the inside.
My security blanket of choice: 'The Four Quartets' and 'The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock'.
Jamie Lidell ft. Jose Gonzales - 'Multiply (In A Minor Key)'
Album: Multiply Additions
My go-to mopey song.
Got a shock in the middle of class today - today's class'll be the last pole class the studio'll conduct until Jan '09; we would receive a voucher for a free class in lieu of the eighth class of our set (today's the seventh). I'm devastated.
Add that to all that stress I'm feeling recently, I'm really quite miserable, but life can only get worse.
Today we were taught the kitty combo and something that sounded like 'Dangerous Brian' but was later renamed inverted hanging angel - managed both easily. At pole prac, a third successful superman-to-chopsticks with Geri supporting.
My go-to mopey song.
Got a shock in the middle of class today - today's class'll be the last pole class the studio'll conduct until Jan '09; we would receive a voucher for a free class in lieu of the eighth class of our set (today's the seventh). I'm devastated.
Add that to all that stress I'm feeling recently, I'm really quite miserable, but life can only get worse.
Today we were taught the kitty combo and something that sounded like 'Dangerous Brian' but was later renamed inverted hanging angel - managed both easily. At pole prac, a third successful superman-to-chopsticks with Geri supporting.
Friday, November 21, 2008
As it turns out, I've been maligning our webmail somewhat, because it's partially my fault that its interface looks so antiquated.
See, Firefox 3 is my default browser, and on Mozilla, the interface is shite (same for Chrome, the other browser I'd downloaded onto my harddrive). But IE 6 (that came with the MS suite installed in my harddrive) - now that's a whole different story.
Had I used IE 6 to access our webmail (which isn't supported by IE 7), then I'd've enjoyed a more up-to-date interface: Hotmail circa early '00.
Paleozoic to Mesozoic is still a step up, no?
See, Firefox 3 is my default browser, and on Mozilla, the interface is shite (same for Chrome, the other browser I'd downloaded onto my harddrive). But IE 6 (that came with the MS suite installed in my harddrive) - now that's a whole different story.
Had I used IE 6 to access our webmail (which isn't supported by IE 7), then I'd've enjoyed a more up-to-date interface: Hotmail circa early '00.
Paleozoic to Mesozoic is still a step up, no?
The entire office is forced to use webmail today because Outlook doesn't work. You wanna know exactly how terrible it is being forced to use the webmail?
Our webmail has an interface and functions slightly worse off than Hotmail circa1998 1996.
That's how bad it is.
And it seems to time-out every other minute that I spend working on my database.
GAAAAAHHHHHHH! Today is pure purgatory!
Addendum (@14:36): WHY CAN'T WE JUST USE GMAIL?! ARGGGGHHHH.
Our webmail has an interface and functions slightly worse off than Hotmail circa
That's how bad it is.
And it seems to time-out every other minute that I spend working on my database.
GAAAAAHHHHHHH! Today is pure purgatory!
Addendum (@14:36): WHY CAN'T WE JUST USE GMAIL?! ARGGGGHHHH.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Skinny - 'Failure'
Album: The Late Lounge presents Boudoir Beats
Good: The guy at the soup shop gave me a half-portion of chicken ham sarnie today (came with corn chips); previously he gave me a half-portion of Waldorf salad. Very nice of him, but the reason I don't order anything with my soup (always the chicken & corn chowder) is that I know I won't be able to finish.
Very bad: Pole prac. Superman-to-chopsticks still no-go; chopsticks-to-superman ... half-go. Brass monkey almost-half-go.
I'm just so tired. And disheartened. I almost wept.
Why have I always been a failure / What can the reason be?
=(
Good: The guy at the soup shop gave me a half-portion of chicken ham sarnie today (came with corn chips); previously he gave me a half-portion of Waldorf salad. Very nice of him, but the reason I don't order anything with my soup (always the chicken & corn chowder) is that I know I won't be able to finish.
Very bad: Pole prac. Superman-to-chopsticks still no-go; chopsticks-to-superman ... half-go. Brass monkey almost-half-go.
I'm just so tired. And disheartened. I almost wept.
Why have I always been a failure / What can the reason be?
=(
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Boards of Canada - 'Seeya Later'
Album: Twoism
Never let it be said I never say 'yes' - I bloody do. And today, I'm not even sure what I'd said 'yes' to.
Waiting for a transfer, I received a call from a chirpy-sounding girl from the Cookie Museum (I left my cellphone number when they prompted me to after I purchased a tin of scrummy mango-cranberry addiction) who told me they were launching new flavors for Christmas and LNY ... and I started drifting off. Maybe I have ADD or something, but I can never listen when my other senses aren't engaged (worse when I'm tired). I only caught "tasting" and "cookies" and "reservation".
I declined the reservation, saying I'd just drop by after work, but she said it tends to be crowded ... or something (she lost me again).
Then it seems I might've said 'yes' to something happening next Wednesday evening.
Fingers crossed "cookies" and "tasting" are heavily involved.
Never let it be said I never say 'yes' - I bloody do. And today, I'm not even sure what I'd said 'yes' to.
Waiting for a transfer, I received a call from a chirpy-sounding girl from the Cookie Museum (I left my cellphone number when they prompted me to after I purchased a tin of scrummy mango-cranberry addiction) who told me they were launching new flavors for Christmas and LNY ... and I started drifting off. Maybe I have ADD or something, but I can never listen when my other senses aren't engaged (worse when I'm tired). I only caught "tasting" and "cookies" and "reservation".
I declined the reservation, saying I'd just drop by after work, but she said it tends to be crowded ... or something (she lost me again).
Then it seems I might've said 'yes' to something happening next Wednesday evening.
Fingers crossed "cookies" and "tasting" are heavily involved.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Watching Shiba Inu Puppy Cam
Stream: Shiba Inu Puppy Cam
What I'm reading about bruises is beginning to worry me.
But I just don't which which level of severity my bruises are.
The ones I got today - well, actually, they were from last Sat, healed a little, aggravated on Wed, healed a little, grievously aggravated today - they look disgusting. Still, they're nothing I'm not used to.
Today was disappointing: I failed to get either of the two tricks we were taught - the Skater (a rotating trick), and the Superman-to-Chopsticks combo. I think I hurt my right arm in attempting the latter; actually I dropped/fell against the pole, which wasn't entirely bad because that kept me from hitting the ground.
What I'm reading about bruises is beginning to worry me.
But I just don't which which level of severity my bruises are.
The ones I got today - well, actually, they were from last Sat, healed a little, aggravated on Wed, healed a little, grievously aggravated today - they look disgusting. Still, they're nothing I'm not used to.
Today was disappointing: I failed to get either of the two tricks we were taught - the Skater (a rotating trick), and the Superman-to-Chopsticks combo. I think I hurt my right arm in attempting the latter; actually I dropped/fell against the pole, which wasn't entirely bad because that kept me from hitting the ground.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Miwagemini - 'Crazy Over You'
Album: This Is How I Found You
The nice evening I had had only abated a little the anxiety I'm having about the boss's tickets. I want to kick myself for not asking to be let in to personally drop the envelope into his letterbox. This is sloppy.
Sloppy is unacceptable.
The nice evening I had had only abated a little the anxiety I'm having about the boss's tickets. I want to kick myself for not asking to be let in to personally drop the envelope into his letterbox. This is sloppy.
Sloppy is unacceptable.
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