Thursday, January 31, 2008

Eric Carmen - 'Hungry Eyes'

Album: Dirty Dancing OST



Z's (my salsa instructor) caveat at the beginning of our Beginners 1 class: "... and if you're thinking of Dirty Dancing or Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights - this is not it ..."

Aww ... There goes my childhood dream of dancing like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing ...

Social dancing: men lead; women follow.

Somehow, I'm not surprised I never wanted to salsa ...

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

K's Choice - 'I'm Not An Addict'

Album: Paradise In Me



Because I still have the bruise from last week's blood taking, Doc decided to try another vein. Unfortunately, he couldn't draw any blood after the needle'd been inserted so he had to move it around a little, to hit the vein. It really didn't hurt all that much, although feeling the needle being adjusted in me was a little weird. Doc said my pain threshold must be quite high; didn't tell him it hurt less than getting my micro-dermal inserted, or even my wrist inked.

Thought about getting pierced (septum?) at the end of March, but remembered I was also considering getting inked on my birthday.

No ... maybe not my birthday.

Hm ...

Mephisto called me a wimp ... again. =/

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Bow Wow ft. Chris Brown - 'Shortie Like Mine'

Album: The Price of Fame

Counting down the days.

My god they're hard to fill.

I keep wondering why I'm still here - why I'd taken Mephisto's offer; I've forgotten why.

Mephisto had told me (more than once) that I ... serve a purpose - or, at least, would serve one.

So torn.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Fisher - 'Different Kind of Wonderful'

Album: Uppers

What the doc highlighted to me:
  • Haemoglobin: 9.0 g/dL (normal range 12.0-16.0 g/dL)
  • Haematocrit: 28% (normal range 36-46%)
  • MCV: 58 fL (normal range 76-96 fL)
  • MCH: 19 pg (normal range 27-32 pg)

He explained everything to me, but I didn't understand most of it. All I know is: he was happy that it wasn't Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), and that my kidneys are in the clear.

Results, as before:
Dyserythropoietic changes present. Iron deficiency and thalassaemia trait have to be considered.

Have to give up more blood this Saturday morning to ascertain whether it is the former or the latter.



Wish you were here already. =(

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Bow Wow ft. Chris Brown - 'Shortie Like Mine'

Album: The Price of Fame

I think the crazy period is officially over - for now. Thing is, after passing craziness for normality for a certain period, after the craziness goes away, normality seems ... crazy - or, normality drives me crazy.

I've the Good Friday weekend to look forward to now, but I've gotta fill the days till then - all 73,440 minutes.

Pulp - 'Like A Friend'

Album: Great Expectations OST



So. I got the performance over and done with, with big hair, drag queen-make up, and lingerie - had more fun and less stage anxiety than I thought I would (no stage fright at all, in fact).

Really will miss the rest of the girls (all from the salsa team except for Rach, Jit, and me) - they're such a fun bunch, especially Nicole the Smokin' Hawt Lawyer.

Watching Magna dance has made me determined to dance like her. But, first, I gotta give the doc a ring to learn my results. Lymph node has gone down so I know I'm not sick anymore.

How damaged I still am, however, is another matter ...

Too tired to feel anything else.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Aretha Franklin - 'R.E.S.P.E.C.T.'

Album: Respect & Other Hits



Was at Mephisto's apartment today - seeing how the other half lives, so to speak - and it was a strange experience. Jaime asked if I entered his apartment; I'd refused to: It felt just too weird to do so.

Later, he sent me an email reply with a smiley. Er ... Hm.

We'll be the last item for the night, starting at 00:30. Rehearsal 'til 01:15 today, including a coupla runs in full dress. Yikes - I look ... =| I only hope I won't look like an amateur drag queen tomorrow - my first performance in more than ten years.

Tomorrow ... Sigh.

Am swelling again since I finished my medication yesterday. Que sera sera.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Bow Wow ft. Chris Brown - 'Shortie Like Mine'

Album: The Price of Fame



The next two days will be long, and - dare I say - grueling; yet after that, with no rehearsals, there'll be a huge tear in the fabric of my after-hours - which I've been making plans to patch over this week: Pole. Street jazz. Salsa. German. Latin. Cello? Violin? Bansuri?

The blood test results should be out tomorrow - I've a feeling it's gonna be all right.

My job, however - the one I'd deferred so much for - will disappoint me. And it's keeping me trapped on this island for this year.






I know this is your song, but I'm making it mine. Your songs, now mine.

Smith - 'Baby It's You'

Album: Death Proof OST



Gave up 7cc of blood today; got a bruise in return. Doc called me "a brave lady" because I didn't turn away as he inserted the needle and drew my blood. He said he was afraid of needles himself.

Aileen's in town 'til Saturday, so we had dinner. Sex Fiend inevitably was sitting at the table behind me. It had to happen, since it was his buddy's cafe I'd brought the girls to.



... and I really, really just want to talk to you now - even if just to show you my growing bruise.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Scarlet - 'Independent Love Song'

Album: Independent Love Song (Single)

"Just because you got a new toy doesn't mean you have to play with it all the time!" my dad told me earlier this evening.

I told her that, and she laughed, saying it was the most interesting thing she'd heard all day.

Dad'd been referring to all the time I was spending on Skype with my new webcam and headset, but I knew what he was saying; I know: Our longest record's nearly 13 hours at a stretch.

I can see clearly enough; I just wonder when she'd get over it.



I nobly hope she would, and selfishly wish she wouldn't.

Movie Cast - 'Seasons of Love'

Album: Rent OST



Family doc recommends a urine test and a full blood test - for which I gotta fast.

Suddenly, I wonder why I'm pushing myself so hard for the rehearsals.

I'm also getting a tummy ... Damned new job.

Mephisto is travelling this entire week. Must remember not to get used to having him not in the office.

So, so, so many things in my head right now - in addition to the one all-consuming thing: 525,600 minutes; 525,600 moments ...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Bishop Allen - 'Little Black Ache'

Album: Charm School



As usual, the doctor doesn't know what is wrong with me exactly - they never do. This one (not my family doctor) recommends I take a blood test to make sure it's not rheumatism; will go see my family doc on Tuesday for that. I'm getting wary of blood tests; second one in three months.

My dad suggested it could also be kidney or liver problems.

What a way to start the bloody year.

I'm trying to get pissed off at this whole thing, because if I don't ... I get so scared.

Damaged goods, indeed.
Been over seven hours now ... and I still can't bear to log off Skype because you're still awake and I want to see you.



God, I'm getting more and more short tempered these days ... so obnoxious and belligerent. Gotta see my doc soon - everything still swollen, I'm still dizzy ...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

eels - 'Royal Pain'

Album: Shrek the Third OST



Woke up with swollen digits - and, I'd think, joints too. Toes and fingers felt (and still feel) stiff, cracking a lot. Couldn't wear my rings as my fingers had swollen up to two ring sizes.

At rehearsal, Rach remarked that my ankles - even my face - looked a little swollen, and I found the lymph node on the left of my neck was swollen too.

Could be my imagination, but I'm itching some too, here and there.

Call me hypochondriac, but I think I'm sick ...

No time to see my doc till Sunday though.