Album: Great Expectations OST
So. I got the performance over and done with, with big hair, drag queen-make up, and lingerie - had more fun and less stage anxiety than I thought I would (no stage fright at all, in fact).
Really will miss the rest of the girls (all from the salsa team except for Rach, Jit, and me) - they're such a fun bunch, especially Nicole the Smokin' Hawt Lawyer.
Watching Magna dance has made me determined to dance like her. But, first, I gotta give the doc a ring to learn my results. Lymph node has gone down so I know I'm not sick anymore.
How damaged I still am, however, is another matter ...
Too tired to feel anything else.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Aretha Franklin - 'R.E.S.P.E.C.T.'
Album: Respect & Other Hits
Was at Mephisto's apartment today - seeing how the other half lives, so to speak - and it was a strange experience. Jaime asked if I entered his apartment; I'd refused to: It felt just too weird to do so.
Later, he sent me an email reply with a smiley. Er ... Hm.
We'll be the last item for the night, starting at 00:30. Rehearsal 'til 01:15 today, including a coupla runs in full dress. Yikes - I look ... =| I only hope I won't look like an amateur drag queen tomorrow - my first performance in more than ten years.
Tomorrow ... Sigh.
Am swelling again since I finished my medication yesterday. Que sera sera.
Was at Mephisto's apartment today - seeing how the other half lives, so to speak - and it was a strange experience. Jaime asked if I entered his apartment; I'd refused to: It felt just too weird to do so.
Later, he sent me an email reply with a smiley. Er ... Hm.
We'll be the last item for the night, starting at 00:30. Rehearsal 'til 01:15 today, including a coupla runs in full dress. Yikes - I look ... =| I only hope I won't look like an amateur drag queen tomorrow - my first performance in more than ten years.
Tomorrow ... Sigh.
Am swelling again since I finished my medication yesterday. Que sera sera.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Bow Wow ft. Chris Brown - 'Shortie Like Mine'
Album: The Price of Fame
The next two days will be long, and - dare I say - grueling; yet after that, with no rehearsals, there'll be a huge tear in the fabric of my after-hours - which I've been making plans to patch over this week: Pole. Street jazz. Salsa. German. Latin. Cello? Violin? Bansuri?
The blood test results should be out tomorrow - I've a feeling it's gonna be all right.
My job, however - the one I'd deferred so much for - will disappoint me. And it's keeping me trapped on this island for this year.
I know this is your song, but I'm making it mine. Your songs, now mine.
The next two days will be long, and - dare I say - grueling; yet after that, with no rehearsals, there'll be a huge tear in the fabric of my after-hours - which I've been making plans to patch over this week: Pole. Street jazz. Salsa. German. Latin. Cello? Violin? Bansuri?
The blood test results should be out tomorrow - I've a feeling it's gonna be all right.
My job, however - the one I'd deferred so much for - will disappoint me. And it's keeping me trapped on this island for this year.
I know this is your song, but I'm making it mine. Your songs, now mine.
Smith - 'Baby It's You'
Album: Death Proof OST
Gave up 7cc of blood today; got a bruise in return. Doc called me "a brave lady" because I didn't turn away as he inserted the needle and drew my blood. He said he was afraid of needles himself.
Aileen's in town 'til Saturday, so we had dinner. Sex Fiend inevitably was sitting at the table behind me. It had to happen, since it was his buddy's cafe I'd brought the girls to.
... and I really, really just want to talk to you now - even if just to show you my growing bruise.
Gave up 7cc of blood today; got a bruise in return. Doc called me "a brave lady" because I didn't turn away as he inserted the needle and drew my blood. He said he was afraid of needles himself.
Aileen's in town 'til Saturday, so we had dinner. Sex Fiend inevitably was sitting at the table behind me. It had to happen, since it was his buddy's cafe I'd brought the girls to.
... and I really, really just want to talk to you now - even if just to show you my growing bruise.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Scarlet - 'Independent Love Song'
Album: Independent Love Song (Single)
"Just because you got a new toy doesn't mean you have to play with it all the time!" my dad told me earlier this evening.
I told her that, and she laughed, saying it was the most interesting thing she'd heard all day.
Dad'd been referring to all the time I was spending on Skype with my new webcam and headset, but I knew what he was saying; I know: Our longest record's nearly 13 hours at a stretch.
I can see clearly enough; I just wonder when she'd get over it.
I nobly hope she would, and selfishly wish she wouldn't.
"Just because you got a new toy doesn't mean you have to play with it all the time!" my dad told me earlier this evening.
I told her that, and she laughed, saying it was the most interesting thing she'd heard all day.
Dad'd been referring to all the time I was spending on Skype with my new webcam and headset, but I knew what he was saying; I know: Our longest record's nearly 13 hours at a stretch.
I can see clearly enough; I just wonder when she'd get over it.
I nobly hope she would, and selfishly wish she wouldn't.
Movie Cast - 'Seasons of Love'
Album: Rent OST
Family doc recommends a urine test and a full blood test - for which I gotta fast.
Suddenly, I wonder why I'm pushing myself so hard for the rehearsals.
I'm also getting a tummy ... Damned new job.
Mephisto is travelling this entire week. Must remember not to get used to having him not in the office.
So, so, so many things in my head right now - in addition to the one all-consuming thing: 525,600 minutes; 525,600 moments ...
Family doc recommends a urine test and a full blood test - for which I gotta fast.
Suddenly, I wonder why I'm pushing myself so hard for the rehearsals.
I'm also getting a tummy ... Damned new job.
Mephisto is travelling this entire week. Must remember not to get used to having him not in the office.
So, so, so many things in my head right now - in addition to the one all-consuming thing: 525,600 minutes; 525,600 moments ...
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Bishop Allen - 'Little Black Ache'
Album: Charm School
As usual, the doctor doesn't know what is wrong with me exactly - they never do. This one (not my family doctor) recommends I take a blood test to make sure it's not rheumatism; will go see my family doc on Tuesday for that. I'm getting wary of blood tests; second one in three months.
My dad suggested it could also be kidney or liver problems.
What a way to start the bloody year.
I'm trying to get pissed off at this whole thing, because if I don't ... I get so scared.
Damaged goods, indeed.
As usual, the doctor doesn't know what is wrong with me exactly - they never do. This one (not my family doctor) recommends I take a blood test to make sure it's not rheumatism; will go see my family doc on Tuesday for that. I'm getting wary of blood tests; second one in three months.
My dad suggested it could also be kidney or liver problems.
What a way to start the bloody year.
I'm trying to get pissed off at this whole thing, because if I don't ... I get so scared.
Damaged goods, indeed.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
eels - 'Royal Pain'
Album: Shrek the Third OST
Woke up with swollen digits - and, I'd think, joints too. Toes and fingers felt (and still feel) stiff, cracking a lot. Couldn't wear my rings as my fingers had swollen up to two ring sizes.
At rehearsal, Rach remarked that my ankles - even my face - looked a little swollen, and I found the lymph node on the left of my neck was swollen too.
Could be my imagination, but I'm itching some too, here and there.
Call me hypochondriac, but I think I'm sick ...
No time to see my doc till Sunday though.
Woke up with swollen digits - and, I'd think, joints too. Toes and fingers felt (and still feel) stiff, cracking a lot. Couldn't wear my rings as my fingers had swollen up to two ring sizes.
At rehearsal, Rach remarked that my ankles - even my face - looked a little swollen, and I found the lymph node on the left of my neck was swollen too.
Could be my imagination, but I'm itching some too, here and there.
Call me hypochondriac, but I think I'm sick ...
No time to see my doc till Sunday though.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Fisher - 'Different Kind Of Wonderful'
Album: Uppers
Been buying stuff, books mostly. It's symptomatic, is what it is.
And I know.
So, today, I finally ordered that book for her, and bought myself Rapture - unfortunately Borders doesn't have the lovely red velvet-covered hardback and have only the paperback - which, I suppose, must suffice.
I still feel like crap; I'm either (getting) sick - or dying.
Been buying stuff, books mostly. It's symptomatic, is what it is.
And I know.
So, today, I finally ordered that book for her, and bought myself Rapture - unfortunately Borders doesn't have the lovely red velvet-covered hardback and have only the paperback - which, I suppose, must suffice.
I still feel like crap; I'm either (getting) sick - or dying.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Phoenix - 'Long Distance Call'
Album: It's Never Been Like That
There's something just a little crazy - just a little - watching you text me over the webcam and receiving my reply.
Not more crazy than watching you sleep, I suppose.
I had Sanice remove my baby today. Now all it is is a 20mm BioFlex surface bar.
Long time no see, long time no say
Got little to tell, I don't say much but I might
Something always told me us two would be serious
I am looking around town, thinking the same as you
I'm far gone but your long distance call
And your capital letters keep me asking for more
It's never been like that
It's never been like that
There's something just a little crazy - just a little - watching you text me over the webcam and receiving my reply.
Not more crazy than watching you sleep, I suppose.
I had Sanice remove my baby today. Now all it is is a 20mm BioFlex surface bar.
Monday, January 14, 2008
The Frames - 'Star Star (Pure Imagination)'
Album: Set List (Live)
It always strikes me later; that's how retarded I am - the queen of delayed reactions and responses.
But if you tell me what you want, I'll make it happen.
I only need some time to realize that.
It always strikes me later; that's how retarded I am - the queen of delayed reactions and responses.
But if you tell me what you want, I'll make it happen.
I only need some time to realize that.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The Killers - 'Read My Mind'
Album: Sam's Town
Today I figured out why I've been punishing my body the way I've been doing. It's not that I really want to punish my body - I just want to convince myself that this one year I've committed to spending in Singapore would be worth it.
And as long as I'm running from one activity to another, I can convince myself that, at the very least, I'm doing something ... instead of wasting a year here, when I could've been there studying, and with her.
You left without a kiss again - and without the conviction that I will get there. I will get there - and convince you.
Today I figured out why I've been punishing my body the way I've been doing. It's not that I really want to punish my body - I just want to convince myself that this one year I've committed to spending in Singapore would be worth it.
And as long as I'm running from one activity to another, I can convince myself that, at the very least, I'm doing something ... instead of wasting a year here, when I could've been there studying, and with her.
You left without a kiss again - and without the conviction that I will get there. I will get there - and convince you.
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