The sound of you sleeping

Still feeling a little disassociated, yet am indubitably affected by last night's events.

The next time Mephisto talks about my 'boyfriend', I'm going to set things straight. I only hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass somehow.

As I've said before, that bunch of ol' boys gossip like the best of fishwives - if not better.

The sound of you sleeping

I wish you or Rach could give me a hug tonight.

I'm beginning to feel violated and a little grimy. I don't like being touched by strange men, and I don't like talking about things I don't want to talk about.

In the shuttle, as we turned into Clarke Quay, a voice in my head told me I was going to lose my 'innocence' - naivety, if you will, about the real world - tonight, and it was right.

My fault for not being able to say no, and my accursed sense of responsibility; I walked into it with eyes wide open.

I just gotta suck it up. Suck it up.

Anna Netrebko - 'Follie! ... follie! ... Sempre libera'

Album: Verdi: La Traviata



I'm in the office now, alone and bored. I've been here since 08:15 and the meeting has since ended, with everybody waiting in line to have a one-on-one meeting with my boss and the head honcho.

If only time were malleable: I'd shorten it until my pole class, whereupon I'd stretched it out as long as I possibly could, and then shorten it for the dinner I had to attend, until I could get home and collapse in bed.

Sigh.

Nice to be able to blast arias in the office though.

Le Tigre - 'On The Verge'

Album: This Island



Fuck, I'm tired.

Tomorrow, then I'm free of it.

This is prolly very educational ... but I don't know what to make of it.

I'm stupid.

Mz Ann Thropik - 'Off With Your Head'

Album: Sweet Love Beat



FUCK.

That's an extremely frustrated, furious, yet futile invective vented on tomorrow and the day after.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

The sound of you sleeping

So much laughter at pole prac today! We all felt all the stiffer and weaker for last week's missing class and practice session.

Mephisto told me today I'll've to be at the dinner on Saturday night, which means I'll miss some of pole (if not completely). The only thing that keeps me happy here is pole; to take that away from me - even for a week (nevermind two weeks in a row) - well, I'd sooner quit my job than miss pole. Truly.

It's depressing me, and I don't want to go down that rut again.

Responsibility is a self-righteous fucker.

The sound of you sleeping

I want, so very much, for this Saturday to come - so I can finally attend pole. But, at the same time, I dread - with almost the same degree of intensity - the approaching Friday ... and Saturday.

The last time I can remember feeling like this was back in school, during a study break, with passages and texts to read and analyze and memorize. I couldn't wait to be free of my exams - but first, I'd have to take them ...

If only I could take pole classes five (or even six) days a week.

Sigh.

It occurred to me today that the commute to and from work is beginning to bore me. Intensely.

It's also being trapped being a rock and a hard place with the likes of our "efficient" transportation system. Yes, it's not a bad one - comparatively - but using it daily sure feels like purgatory.

The sound of you sleeping

I feel so, so, so cheated of my once-a-week window of joy - pole class and practice session.

=(

The sound of you sleeping

Finished a book today, and has begun two others. One of which failed to capture my interest even after 10 pages, so I focused on the other one, which - thank goodness - managed to get more page-turningly attractive as I went along.

It's been so long since I read.

Is why I don't like working and prefer to be in school - I read more in school, and not just because I have to.

The sound of you sleeping

Tonight's dinner: Salmon sashimi (could've been fresher), and miso chashu ramen at Ichibantei (Liang Court) which got progressively saltier until I couldn't finish my third slice of chashu; then, dessert of apple crumble (more crumble than apple, damnit!) and tea at Nectarie (Jen's waffle with red wine pear was slightly better, but perhaps the pear could've been juicer, and the cinnamon more subtle).

Also: Borrowed 8 books today. I haven't stepped into the library for so long, nearly every book I picked up looked interesting.

Hope to spend my weekend reading (thus avoiding local telly with its annual evil propoganda speech broadcast).

Thursday's child has far to go ...

Yet I always seem to crash on Thursdays.

Thursday is crash day.

The sound of you sleeping

Managed to do the shoulder mount all on my own tonight - and a few times at that. (Go, me!) Of course, I looked extremely ungainly doing that, but I'm hoping it'll get better with time (when the body learns to effectively use the right muscles).

Left my top at the studio though - must remember to call the studio first thing tomorrow morning so I can (hopefully) collect it at lunch.

Whether I - or anybody else - like it or not, in my life, dance supersedes work.

The sound of you sleeping

So ... the pole dance competition. I've been thinking about it, and I've got a piece of music that'd be good for a choreography (and it clocks in perfectly too at 02:50).

Anyway. It's a thought - just a thought.

And - salt on ulcers. Literally.

Fucking ouch, then - a slow burn.