Maren Ord - 'Waiting'

Album: Waiting

I'm sitting here in silence
I'm waiting here patiently
And I'm wondering
If you're waiting too
I'm sitting here alone now
And I'm waiting here on my own
I'm wondering
If you're waiting for me too

Miscommunication.

Murphy's Law.

Now what do I do? Wait it out?

How long can I afford to wait?

Why do things always go wrong when they seem to be going so right?

I've jinxed it, haven't I?

=...(

Wir Sind Helden - 'Nur Ein Wort'

Album: Von hier an blind

Everybody's been asking about my decision, and I now realize I've been speaking about it to too many people.

On one hand, I do want (and value) my friends' opinions; on the other, I don't want any questions or inquisitions (which I get on an almost-daily basis now).

A lot of things are up in the air, and I don't want to jinx anything by speaking too soon (and I've seen that happen just too many times). I've made my bed; now all that's left to see if I could stand lying on it.



Played truant again today.

Mama Cass Elliot - 'Dream A Little Dream'

Album: The Best of the Mamas and the Papas

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me ...

Mary Ann Redmond - 'Alone But Not Lonely'

Album: Songbirds Vol. 2

I'm feeling inordinately depressed - I hope the root of it will prove to be fatigue ... and not the decision I gave Mephisto.

Julie Delphy - 'Je T'Aime Tant'

Album: Before Sunset & Before Sunrise OST

Must make my decision this week.

I really hope my boss wouldn't irritate me this week ...

The Cure - 'Lullaby'

Album: Disintegration

I think it's the moon - I feel so unsettled tonight; now.

Dinner (at Hooters) was nice, then a long-ish walk to Oohtique and back to Clarke Quay to take a cab home. Since we were at Clarke Quay, I brought Jit to Alecs' studio. Strangely enough, he could still remember me (even though it's more than five months since he inked me) and asked how I was healing.

If I'm in Singapore for my birthday next year, I told him, I'll be back to see him for another ink.

If I stayed in Singapore, I'd be getting a lot more piercings and ink, I think ...

Better that I leave?

Tito & Las Tarantulas - 'After Dark'

Album: From Dusk Til Dawn OST

Another wretchedly frustrating day in the office, trying to keep from snapping at the boss - which resulted in another poor attempt - so thank Goddess for after hours.

Dinner with Rach, then exotic rehearsal (learned new combination of moves - yay!), then supper with Andrea.

My right arm is getting progressively worse - I had trouble lifting even my mug of tea this morning: Worrisome.

Still haven't bought the pillows and linens, but don't worry, will make sure I have 'em by the time you get here.

I wish you could be here with me now ...

TraLaLa - 'All Fired Up'

Album: The L Word: The Third Season OST

• KL told me today that Mephisto had said Jaime was afraid of him. An impossibility! I'd pegged Jaime for the type who won't take no shit from nobody.
  
  
• The archipelago of bruises on my right arm had somehow merged into what Rach said looked like a peninsula. And from wrist to elbow, my arms they hurt so much, so much.
  
  
• Exotic rehearsals start tomorrow!
  
  
• Gotta buy the pillows and linens for you soon ...
  
  
• Nope, not thinking about it - even though Rach asked if I'd decided today. Nope. Not thinking.

Jarvis Cocker - 'Black Magic'

Album: Jarvis

Hm.

You'll get here soon.

=)

रूप कुमार राठोड - 'खामोश रात'

Album: थक्षक OST

I find this song calms me down some.

I think ... I've already decided; I'm just so scared to find out what I've decided.

Talking to Rach tonight helped some.

And - a bonus - I found out Aphrodite has a mortal name ...

Ma belle.

Abra Moore - 'Taking Chances'

Album: No Fear

Ohh ... Opportunity knocks twice.

But -

... there will be time
To wonder, 'Do I dare?' and 'Do I dare?'
Time to turn back and descend the stair ...

He will wait, but only till December. (And how deeply he intrigues and fascinates me - but do I dare?)

I'm at the crossroads: Welly, or Singapore?

My guts, my heart, say ...



JUMP.

Melissa Etheridge - 'Breathe'

Album: Lucky

I played the fool today
I just dream of vanishing into the crowd
Longing for home again
Home, is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

I love this song, but there was a time I couldn't stand listening to it.

Feel so unsettled tonight, so unstable; hard to feel you're not damaged when it sometimes seems like you're just so fucked up. I think people do that to me. Maybe I still don't know how to handle things.

Auntie Al gives good hugs. Wish she were here to give me one right now. =(

Nellie McKay - 'Cupcake'

Album: Pretty Little Head

Said I, "... you've such a long list of criteria! Lower your fucking expectations!"

And she said, "Actually ... you're not that tall ..."

=/

I don't know; even if we didn't go back such a long way (my thought) and she were taller (her thought), I'm still not sure we are entirely compatible - never mind entering into a romantic relationship.

Still - always a fun topic to be arguing over though.

I'm sorry ... but I think it'd have to be no.

Or maybe I should give it another try ...?