OMG my shoulders are so tight and achey - prolly from the spinning pole workshop. Hope I'd be able to crawl outta bed tomorrow for the final workshop ... =|

SY's wedding dinner was fun - it was definitely less boring than any of the wedding dinners I'd attended previously (all family affairs). It was nice to sit at a table of mostly familiar faces with whom you share a common passion - pole!

If I ever had an occasion (and the resources) to throw a huge party like a wedding, it'll involve burlesque and (tasteful) exotic dances, pole, and aerial silks and hoop performances, with a fetish/masquerade theme. It'll be the lovely offspring of Neil Gaiman's Mirrormask and Cirque du Soleil.

Leona Lewis - 'Bleeding Love'

Album: Spirit



How do I hurt myself - let me count the fucking ways:

1. Left shoulder blade and shoulder (no idea why)
   
2. Right collarbone and shoulder (today's workshop)
   
3. Left lower back and hip (Wed's pole prac)
   
4. Right pelvis, the fold at groin and thigh - I might've pulled or herniated something (today ... at work, I think)
   
5. Right knee - bruised and lumpy (today's workshop)

Sigh.

2 more workshops!

Leona Lewis - 'Bleeding Love'

Album: Spirit



I'm extremely tired, but super hyped right now. A wonderful night of pole performances!

It might be the two gin-and-tonics I had, but my back feels much better now (I'm at least able to bend over and straighten without any support) - hope it'll be back on form for tomorrow's advanced tricks workshop.

Looks like there's gonna be another Asian Pole Summit next year! I just gotta be here for it.

OMFG!

Did two of my ex-schoolmates get married? To each other?!

.
.
.

I want to be all awwwwww ... but I'm all eeewwwwwwww.

Not quite sure why - they weren't even in the same class. She was in mine, he was in the next. It's not even like they're related, right?

And I like them both - nice people.

But ...

I hurt the left side of my back kicking up into a (failed) attempt at brass monkey.

=(

I iz stupid.

And there're workshops to attend this entire weekend, beginning this Friday!

=...(

Dennis Brown - 'Things in Life'

Album: Anthology 1970 to 1995

It's not everyday we're gonna be the same way
There must be a change somehow
There are bad times and good times too
So have a little faith in what you do
'Cause you don't seem to realize
The things you've got to face in life
Today you're up, tomorrow you're down
So thank god that you're still around town

Though we've got to work like slaves
Just to eat a piece of bread
But as we go along each day we'll find
Happiness to sooth the mind 'cause
It's not everyday we're gonna be the same way
There must be a change somehow
There are bad times and good times too
So have a little faith in what you do

Dennis Brown - 'Things in Life'

Album: Anthology 1970 to 1995



The aftermath's just the same as having just (barely) recovered from a bad bout of stomach flu. I was consciously handling myself with kid gloves today, trying to spot a potential trigger before it could trigger me.

Was mostly fine today (boss wasn't in office), even with a marked lack of appetite; but as I was sent out to walk the dog, I almost had a mild relapse - it was like knowing you're about to vomit, but desperately hanging on to the fine balance needed to not hurl your insides out. Now I finally understand why Auntie Al'd needed someone to talk to 24/7 at her worst period. It could be terrifying otherwise.

Didn't want music as I walked, but when I did turn the mp3 player on, I found this song to be somewhat calming.

Well. It's gotta happen; better now than when I don't have any of my paperweights and supports around.

Tonight a Cat. 5 ripped right through and I sat for a long time gasping and thumbing through my phonebook. After two runs, I called Jason.

The catalyst ... it's kinda Mephisto (indirectly), but everything else that'd been hanging out in the background for the last few weeks/couple of months had also been snowballing.

The aftermath is just debris.

It's not a bad thing - I don't have the nausea or the gasping anymore - but we'll see about tomorrow.

After dinner, I watched bits of a local TV station's forty-fifth anniversary anniversary/gala-thingy - a channel I'd watched daily during childhood - so when a retrospective of the all the programs they'd created came up, it was a bit of a stroll down nostalgia lane.

But I realized, while I enjoyed the nostalgia, viewing the passage of time is terrifying for me, and it induced a sudden panic attack and severe case of insecurity.

Because I'm reminded that the passage of time is relentless and merciless, and even though I age with every second, I still feel as helpless and scared and dependent as a child on the inside.

My security blanket of choice: 'The Four Quartets' and 'The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock'.

Jamie Lidell ft. Jose Gonzales - 'Multiply (In A Minor Key)'

Album: Multiply Additions



My go-to mopey song.

Got a shock in the middle of class today - today's class'll be the last pole class the studio'll conduct until Jan '09; we would receive a voucher for a free class in lieu of the eighth class of our set (today's the seventh). I'm devastated.

Add that to all that stress I'm feeling recently, I'm really quite miserable, but life can only get worse.

Today we were taught the kitty combo and something that sounded like 'Dangerous Brian' but was later renamed inverted hanging angel - managed both easily. At pole prac, a third successful superman-to-chopsticks with Geri supporting.

As it turns out, I've been maligning our webmail somewhat, because it's partially my fault that its interface looks so antiquated.

See, Firefox 3 is my default browser, and on Mozilla, the interface is shite (same for Chrome, the other browser I'd downloaded onto my harddrive). But IE 6 (that came with the MS suite installed in my harddrive) - now that's a whole different story.

Had I used IE 6 to access our webmail (which isn't supported by IE 7), then I'd've enjoyed a more up-to-date interface: Hotmail circa early '00.

Paleozoic to Mesozoic is still a step up, no?

The entire office is forced to use webmail today because Outlook doesn't work. You wanna know exactly how terrible it is being forced to use the webmail?

Our webmail has an interface and functions slightly worse off than Hotmail circa 1998 1996.

That's how bad it is.

And it seems to time-out every other minute that I spend working on my database.

GAAAAAHHHHHHH! Today is pure purgatory!



Addendum (@14:36): WHY CAN'T WE JUST USE GMAIL?! ARGGGGHHHH.

The good: Am raring to get back on the pole and do that combo!

The bad: Am frustrated and furious I can't remember my ibanking log-in ID and PIN - and I absolutely refuse to pay the bank to have them reset those. Grrrr!

Skinny - 'Failure'

Album: The Late Lounge presents Boudoir Beats



Good: The guy at the soup shop gave me a half-portion of chicken ham sarnie today (came with corn chips); previously he gave me a half-portion of Waldorf salad. Very nice of him, but the reason I don't order anything with my soup (always the chicken & corn chowder) is that I know I won't be able to finish.

Very bad: Pole prac. Superman-to-chopsticks still no-go; chopsticks-to-superman ... half-go. Brass monkey almost-half-go.

I'm just so tired. And disheartened. I almost wept.

Why have I always been a failure / What can the reason be?

=(