Watching you sleep

I'm sorry you woke up at the ungodly hour of 04:45 to listen to me rant about my day at work.

PMS-ing during the full-moon is doubly bad. Intellectually, I can see I'm somehow magnifying the tiniest, inconsequential things into overwrought operas of the Wagnerian kind; but emotionally, psychologically, I'm unable to control myself.

Even worse when my paperweight isn't around.

So I'm feeling hurt and disappointed and very, very guilt-ridden - among other things.

I wonder if it would've been better if I hadn't taken up this job in the first place ...

The sound of you sleeping

After the lunch meeting with Jen, Mephisto commented, "She's short for her height!" She got the job, as I knew she would, and I'm pretty sure he likes her.

But, as we were having our expressos, he said, "... but the best would be that you forget your stupid plan to run off to New Zealand ..."

Which is bad.

But the bit that made me feel the worst was when I tried to ask him how he'd like the transition to be (whether he wanted a seamless one, or if he could live with a short gap without a PA), he told me, "I don't believe I care to discuss that."

Then he turned the stereo back on loud and changed the topic to the music blasting from his speakers.

=...(

The sound of you sleeping

(I don't know what I'm looking at!)

So tired.

I must have OCD - I feel really icky when the different parts of my life (which I obsessively keep separate) begins to touch one another ... and, worse, overlap.

I feel so, so icky. I don't like it.

=(

The sound of you sleeping

Spent the morning being pissed off at the incompetence of the university. Then, unable to focus on work (being tired and achey), I somehow hit upon the idea to look for the opening titles for old, old telly series I used to watch in the 90s.

... and wouldn't ya know it - Youtube's gotta whole bunch of 'em. Renegade? Highlander? Blossom? I lmao'd at Renegade's opening. (Did I really use to find all these long-haired guys - Lorenzo Lamas, Adrian Paul, Joey Lawrence - cute?)

And older ones: Petticoat Junction? Beverly Hillbillies?

Best nostalgic favorite finds? Fun House! Lady Lovely Locks!

Watching you sleep

How much longer is the bloody receipt gonna take to arrive? I think I've lost the momentum. Sigh ...

And work is so boring these days. I keep feeling like I'm anticipating a holiday - which sorta makes every day the eve of a holiday ... except it's not - and maybe that's keeping me more relaxed.

But Mephisto wants me to feel even more relaxed - albeit around him, with him. I guess he still hasn't figured out I'd screw up whether I'm highly strung or completely chilled out. Me, I figured I'd rather be on my toes.

The sound of you sleeping

Head is buzzing with music, moves, and choreos.

Why am I so tired?

There seems to be so much I'm looking forward to, I worry about disappointment.

The sound of you sleeping

Yesterday, on my way home, there was a toddler fretting in the bus behind me. I turned around and we made eye contact, and, deciding to be nice, I smiled at her. Her eyes rounded; she fell silent.

I turned back. Soon, she started fretting again, and I could feel her little hands on my back and ponytail (the bus was that packed). I turned to look at her again and she looked at me. I widened my eyes, she followed suit; I grinned, she followed suit.

Since she calmed, I turned back. But then she started mewing again, struggling in her mother's arms, and now the child was trying to grab my hair, trying to get my attention.

Indian babies seem to love me for some reason ...

Melissa Ferrick - 'Drive'

Album: Freedom



Most ... interesting work day I ever had, all the doing of my (aptly named) Chihli Padi.

Wet spot, baby, gets wetter.

;)

Acute case of badtimingytis tonight: I'm extremely tired (it's always Crash Night after Hump Day), and the laptop almost BSoD'd on me (forcing a long, drawn-out shut-down), then I got stabbed by a really by tummy-ache (which I'd initially thought was gastritis) followed by a bad case of diarrhea.

The stomach problem the boss talked about (which eventually sent him home early) - it's not contagious, is it? And I've a dinner date in Little India tomorrow, too ...

Badtimingytis - sigh.

=(

Robi Draco Rosa - 'Dancing In The Rain'

Yup, this is one song I'm currently addicted to, and our E2 choreo to it is absolutely gorgeous. (Hurrah for chair-work!)

The boss, today: "You know what?"

"What?"

The boss: "How come you don't invite me to lunch anymore?"

Hmm ... I was just thinking the same thing. But, lunch, you know, is such a pain in the ass when you just don't fucking know what to eat. Also: I never invited him; he invited himself.

Jen has a 50% chance of taking over my job.

... Perfect!

The sound of you sleeping

Sigh ... Work, and the waiting game. Tomorrow, Wednesday, already.

The only thing I like about Wednesday - it being the hump day and all - is going to the studio for exotic class and pole prac.

Maybe one day I'll get to do aerial silks and aerial hoop - those look gorgeous.

Robi Draco Rosa - 'Dancing in the Rain'

Album: Mad Love



I absolutely adore this song; if only I could do it justice - but I'm just not that good dancer, I'm afraid.

All of a sudden, my appetite seems to have re-awaken with a vengeance ...

=(

Gotta focus on something other than food - like a choreo, maybe.

Robi Draco Rosa - 'Dancing in the Rain'

Album: Mad Love



Today's class: Ball (static) and a combination-spin - spiral into goddess. I managed both in the end, like, barely, and uglily.

But I nailed the combination of graceful climb into bat into bird-nest into hanging bow-and-arrow, ending with the jazz dismount (I did hit my head against the pole doing the dismount though).

Now I'm seriously thinking choreographies, 'cuz a bunch of us were sitting around with coffee, talking, and it seemed like everyone was quite keen to learn a choreo, so - hmm ...

Nina Simone - 'Feeling Good'

Album: Feeling Good - The Very Best of Nina Simone



Awesome. I had an awesome night. The Vagina Monologues wasn't perfect, but it was hysterically funny at bits, sobering at others, and I absolutely loved the experience (not to mention, hey, they distribute packets of panty-liners - not green tea-scented though - in the middle of the play!) - WATCH IT! (The cast is composed of mostly eye-candies, from pretty femme-y chicks to a cute androgynous-but-not-Shane-type.)

After that I had a great time at post-show drinkies with Jen, SY, and Kimmy and her boyfriend. The conversation was great even though Jen found out some things I never told her, and I discovered quite a bit about my pole-mates and also krav maga, which Kimmy's boyfriend was picking up.

All great.