I can see how it'll end, but since tonight's a dark moon night, I shall endeavor to keep that voice and those thoughts away, out.
It'd prolly be a better idea to put them down when I'm in a better frame of mind ... Even though I'd be less inclined to, once out of this frame of mind.
Something more trivial: I spend so many hours a day typing with my elbows resting on my desk that I've managed to cultivate a little blister on my right elbow. =|
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Watching you sleep
Because of a miscalculation on my part, I think I'm in for a much longer wait than I'd anticipated. Obstacles of my own doing; shoulda known ...
This Monday onwards, I'll push harder to clean up the database - I really don't like sitting around feeling like I have no control at all (which is what waiting for something makes me feel).
I promise I'll tell the boss when I receive the approval I want and need, although how I could broach that topic is something I need to plan. (The whole truth and nothing but the truth, or partial truth mixed into a generous amount of vagaries, or a complete white lie?)
This Monday onwards, I'll push harder to clean up the database - I really don't like sitting around feeling like I have no control at all (which is what waiting for something makes me feel).
I promise I'll tell the boss when I receive the approval I want and need, although how I could broach that topic is something I need to plan. (The whole truth and nothing but the truth, or partial truth mixed into a generous amount of vagaries, or a complete white lie?)
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
I seem to have lost my appetite. I mean, I get hungry and all, but I never know what to eat and don't know what I feel like eating, which makes eating a chore because then it becomes something you do for the sake of doing and not because you enjoy doing it.
Still, it's a timely - if annoying - thing to happen. It's official: I'm fat; have put on around 5 kilos since Jan this year. Those I've complained to so far have parroted one another - "It's muscles, not fats" - but I don't wanna look beefy either ...
=(
Still, it's a timely - if annoying - thing to happen. It's official: I'm fat; have put on around 5 kilos since Jan this year. Those I've complained to so far have parroted one another - "It's muscles, not fats" - but I don't wanna look beefy either ...
=(
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
... it really just struck me that I listen to you sleep a lot. A lot - like, every night. Sometimes I even get to watch you sleep(!).
Maybe you're right - it's almost as if we're dating our cell phones and laptops and Skype - but, right now, with 4 (5 next week) hours and a few thousand-odd miles between us, I'd rather have you breathing into my ear through the headset than falling asleep alone. In silence.
Is that a little bizarre?
Maybe you're right - it's almost as if we're dating our cell phones and laptops and Skype - but, right now, with 4 (5 next week) hours and a few thousand-odd miles between us, I'd rather have you breathing into my ear through the headset than falling asleep alone. In silence.
Is that a little bizarre?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
Things seem to be at a sorta lull at work; maybe it's because in the part of my life that's not-work, I'm back in the waiting game. Wait wait wait, is all I do.
Wait.
I need a trim. Sooner rather than later.
Wait.
I need a trim. Sooner rather than later.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
Actually I managed to get into a headstand via a side split without my usual spastic twitch/jerk yesterday after several tries and 1 video recording.
Today I ache - neck, shoulders, head. Was caught in the fucking traffic this morning thanks to the F(ucking)1 road closures. Some lady fainted a stop before Suntec; the rest of us (including the bus driver) gave up the wait. Those working at Suntec walked nearly one bus stop's distance to work. And you know what it looked like? A mass exodus.
But no leader to part the bloody steel (still) sea.
I dread tomorrow's commute. I'mma try my luck with the trains.
Today I ache - neck, shoulders, head. Was caught in the fucking traffic this morning thanks to the F(ucking)1 road closures. Some lady fainted a stop before Suntec; the rest of us (including the bus driver) gave up the wait. Those working at Suntec walked nearly one bus stop's distance to work. And you know what it looked like? A mass exodus.
But no leader to part the bloody steel (still) sea.
I dread tomorrow's commute. I'mma try my luck with the trains.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
Somebody not in my phone book sent me a text tonight that read: Hey I remember you love the White Rabbit milk candy - remember to throw them all away!
No idea who it was, yet I was too embarrassed to ask. Here you've somebody who remembers what I like to eat, yet whose number is somehow not in my phone book?
I texted back saying I in fact have a couple of those candies left but would prolly just eat the rice-paper wrapping; whereupon the reply was a resounding "NO". So I texted I'd prolly just keep 'em as souvenirs, and got the reply, "As long as they don't end up in your mouth [...] take care!"
How sweet - and I don't even know who it was!
(Although I think there's a 75% chance it's a girl - guys don't remember such stuff.)
No idea who it was, yet I was too embarrassed to ask. Here you've somebody who remembers what I like to eat, yet whose number is somehow not in my phone book?
I texted back saying I in fact have a couple of those candies left but would prolly just eat the rice-paper wrapping; whereupon the reply was a resounding "NO". So I texted I'd prolly just keep 'em as souvenirs, and got the reply, "As long as they don't end up in your mouth [...] take care!"
How sweet - and I don't even know who it was!
(Although I think there's a 75% chance it's a girl - guys don't remember such stuff.)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
Funny how it goes: I find myself tidying up around my room as I get (more) stressed out by the tideous and obstacles-ridden task of formsformsform - as if putting things away, tidying up, physically, will somehow tidy up and put things in their places in my mind.
If only things really worked out that way ... But, no, the things in my head have to be done physically too. They're sorta like Loops of Zen - things are somehow connected; to solve the puzzle, you need logic, and to work out the knots in the right order.
Sigh.
If only things really worked out that way ... But, no, the things in my head have to be done physically too. They're sorta like Loops of Zen - things are somehow connected; to solve the puzzle, you need logic, and to work out the knots in the right order.
Sigh.
Last pole class, then a break of one Sat (stupid F1). We learned the jazz dismount and hanging side split today - not a lot of stuff, admittedly, but some of us were still struggling with the stuff we learned in previous classes.
Am addicted to this game currently. Despite the 'Zen' in its name, I feel anything but like my name playing it.
Now attempting to solve a level 26 puzzle (my "best level ever"): ARGH.
Am addicted to this game currently. Despite the 'Zen' in its name, I feel anything but like my name playing it.
Now attempting to solve a level 26 puzzle (my "best level ever"): ARGH.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
So stressed out by forms. =(
I try to tell myself, they're just forms - just fill them up, submit them, and you'll get what you want ... which you will.
But I know better: Something will screw up somewhere; there are always obstacles, and Thurday's child has far to go.
Why is it so difficult?
I try to tell myself, they're just forms - just fill them up, submit them, and you'll get what you want ... which you will.
But I know better: Something will screw up somewhere; there are always obstacles, and Thurday's child has far to go.
Why is it so difficult?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The sound of you sleeping
I don't wanna jinx it, but I think I caught a relatively high wave - and it still being a relatively full moon and all - so I'm gonna ride it out for all it's worth, use it to get things done, put myself on course. While I can.
Likewise, these couple of days my mind has been endlessly - almost prodigiously - spewing sentences ... But always too fast for the hand to record; too fast, even to trip off the tongue or trip it.
Still, that's not gonna keep me from trying to make a note of them somewhere - never know when these oases/mirages of words/sentences start evanescing, leaving me back in my barren desert.
Likewise, these couple of days my mind has been endlessly - almost prodigiously - spewing sentences ... But always too fast for the hand to record; too fast, even to trip off the tongue or trip it.
Still, that's not gonna keep me from trying to make a note of them somewhere - never know when these oases/mirages of words/sentences start evanescing, leaving me back in my barren desert.
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