The Killers - 'Read My Mind'

Album: Sam's Town

So extremely tired, I was grouchy most of the day, especially after pole class.

Feel like I'm heading for a meltdown soon.

I know I've been punishing my body, but I can't stop.

The Elected - 'Did Me Good'

Album: Sun, Sun, Sun



It occurred to me, as I was on my way home from rehearsal, that I was killing myself, with the punishing schedule I set for myself - and keep to.

Tomorrow'll be a long, long day.

I simultaneously crave sleep and dread it.

Oddway - 'All The Things That Matter'

Album: Away From The Everyday



Mephisto didn't talk much to me today, but somehow that left me even more nerve-wrecked. It's like having my dad in a bad mood, and you never know when he'd lash at you - even though Mephisto didn't seem to be in a bad mood.

So glad that my after-hours were great this evening: Dinner (Deli Moroccan), dessert (B Bakery), great company - and a priceless story that just gotta be saved for posterity!

;)

Jill Scott - 'I'm Not Afraid'

Album: Beautifully Human



So freaked out.

Had Wil chosen Japanese between my given choices of pasta and Japanese, I would've been dining in the same place as Mephisto and his dinner date tonight.

Still unsure if it were indeed him (never seen him in anything but his standard office outfit and his driving glasses), but if it weren't, then have I been so completely mind-fucked that I'm starting to get paranoid about seeing him everywhere?

Devil on my back ...

I must not be afraid.

=(

So nice to finally be chatting and seeing you.

Even if it had to be through the internet.

Camera Obscura - 'Let's Get Out Of This Country'

Album: Let's Get Out Of This Country



Mephisto has this uncanny ... knack.

Today, commenting that I'd smiled more today than I had the past two work days, he said, "You looked like you'd rather be in Penang ..."

Yes, I would - with you there.

Eisley - 'One Day I Slowly Floated Away'

Album: Room Noises



Have been putting it off for a long time now; Rach urged me to get on with it last night (when we were both completely sober). So I made my list tonight.

An exercise in futility or not, I can only wait and see.

It's so difficult when you want two things at the same time, but are allowed only one. Which do you choose - the one your mind wants, or the one your heart desires?

Am (still) careering.

I don't want a career that is an office job; I want to be able to create.

Esthero - 'Thank Heaven 4 You'

Album: Wikked Lil' Grrrls



Went to have our measurements taken, then off to have a pre-dinner snack. After that, shopping (I bought a book and two pairs of jeans), dinner (Thai Express), coffee and dessert (Ricciotti), and drinks.

First drink, as usual, at the Crazy Elephant (Long Island); second one (12 year-old Glenfiddich, stiff) at the Highlander Bar. The third drink was red wine, courtesy of the table beside us at the Highlander. It was a bunch of financial advisors from Manulife and it made for a great evening getting to know new people.

Rach managed to get really high and tipsy, and I'm now sleepy.

Which is a good thing.

Camera Obscura - 'Return To Send Her'

Album: Let's Get Out Of This Country



Mephisto remarked that he didn't think I smiled a lot - or enough. You hardly smile, said he. Smile. What - is it my aftershave? Do you want me to change it - something that smells like what your favorite boyfriend wore?

It was almost funny ...

Except it reminded me how much I wish I could smell you again.

Bishop Allen - 'Busted Heart'

Album: Charm School



I feel Mephisto is slowly breaking my spirit.

And I'm feeling so cold lately ...

Denison Witmer - 'Are You A Dreamer'

Album: Are You A Dreamer?



Feel stressed out by Mephisto and my first day. That man might drive me stark raving crazy soon; either that, or I'd be quitting in tears.

But when he wasn't talking to me or bugging me, I'd be thinking of you and missing you. Which was - is - all too frequently.

Which will definitely drive me stark raving crazy.

But I can't help it, no matter how silly or cheesy that seems.

The Killers - 'Read My Mind'

Album: Sam's Town

I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around

Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

How I dread going home on New Year's day with a broken heart.

The Frames - 'Star Star (Pure Imagination)'

Album: Set List (Live)



Sometimes, I get so scared so suddenly. A shot of insecurity out of the blue. And all I'd want to do is to curl into a ball and play music that reassures me and stay in forever.

I wonder why.

Falling down into situations
Bringing out the best in you
You're flat on your back again
And star you're every word I'm heeding
Can you help me to see
I'm lost in the marsh

Close your eyes
Count to three
Make a wish

Come with me
And we'll be
In a world of your imagination

Star star teach me how to shine shine
Teach me so I know what's going on in your mind ...