Wir Sind Helden - 'Nur Ein Wort'

Album: Von hier an blind

Everybody's been asking about my decision, and I now realize I've been speaking about it to too many people.

On one hand, I do want (and value) my friends' opinions; on the other, I don't want any questions or inquisitions (which I get on an almost-daily basis now).

A lot of things are up in the air, and I don't want to jinx anything by speaking too soon (and I've seen that happen just too many times). I've made my bed; now all that's left to see if I could stand lying on it.



Played truant again today.

Mama Cass Elliot - 'Dream A Little Dream'

Album: The Best of the Mamas and the Papas

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me ...

Mary Ann Redmond - 'Alone But Not Lonely'

Album: Songbirds Vol. 2

I'm feeling inordinately depressed - I hope the root of it will prove to be fatigue ... and not the decision I gave Mephisto.

Julie Delphy - 'Je T'Aime Tant'

Album: Before Sunset & Before Sunrise OST

Must make my decision this week.

I really hope my boss wouldn't irritate me this week ...

The Cure - 'Lullaby'

Album: Disintegration

I think it's the moon - I feel so unsettled tonight; now.

Dinner (at Hooters) was nice, then a long-ish walk to Oohtique and back to Clarke Quay to take a cab home. Since we were at Clarke Quay, I brought Jit to Alecs' studio. Strangely enough, he could still remember me (even though it's more than five months since he inked me) and asked how I was healing.

If I'm in Singapore for my birthday next year, I told him, I'll be back to see him for another ink.

If I stayed in Singapore, I'd be getting a lot more piercings and ink, I think ...

Better that I leave?

Tito & Las Tarantulas - 'After Dark'

Album: From Dusk Til Dawn OST

Another wretchedly frustrating day in the office, trying to keep from snapping at the boss - which resulted in another poor attempt - so thank Goddess for after hours.

Dinner with Rach, then exotic rehearsal (learned new combination of moves - yay!), then supper with Andrea.

My right arm is getting progressively worse - I had trouble lifting even my mug of tea this morning: Worrisome.

Still haven't bought the pillows and linens, but don't worry, will make sure I have 'em by the time you get here.

I wish you could be here with me now ...

TraLaLa - 'All Fired Up'

Album: The L Word: The Third Season OST

• KL told me today that Mephisto had said Jaime was afraid of him. An impossibility! I'd pegged Jaime for the type who won't take no shit from nobody.
  
  
• The archipelago of bruises on my right arm had somehow merged into what Rach said looked like a peninsula. And from wrist to elbow, my arms they hurt so much, so much.
  
  
• Exotic rehearsals start tomorrow!
  
  
• Gotta buy the pillows and linens for you soon ...
  
  
• Nope, not thinking about it - even though Rach asked if I'd decided today. Nope. Not thinking.

Jarvis Cocker - 'Black Magic'

Album: Jarvis

Hm.

You'll get here soon.

=)

रूप कुमार राठोड - 'खामोश रात'

Album: थक्षक OST

I find this song calms me down some.

I think ... I've already decided; I'm just so scared to find out what I've decided.

Talking to Rach tonight helped some.

And - a bonus - I found out Aphrodite has a mortal name ...

Ma belle.

Abra Moore - 'Taking Chances'

Album: No Fear

Ohh ... Opportunity knocks twice.

But -

... there will be time
To wonder, 'Do I dare?' and 'Do I dare?'
Time to turn back and descend the stair ...

He will wait, but only till December. (And how deeply he intrigues and fascinates me - but do I dare?)

I'm at the crossroads: Welly, or Singapore?

My guts, my heart, say ...



JUMP.

Melissa Etheridge - 'Breathe'

Album: Lucky

I played the fool today
I just dream of vanishing into the crowd
Longing for home again
Home, is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

I love this song, but there was a time I couldn't stand listening to it.

Feel so unsettled tonight, so unstable; hard to feel you're not damaged when it sometimes seems like you're just so fucked up. I think people do that to me. Maybe I still don't know how to handle things.

Auntie Al gives good hugs. Wish she were here to give me one right now. =(

Nellie McKay - 'Cupcake'

Album: Pretty Little Head

Said I, "... you've such a long list of criteria! Lower your fucking expectations!"

And she said, "Actually ... you're not that tall ..."

=/

I don't know; even if we didn't go back such a long way (my thought) and she were taller (her thought), I'm still not sure we are entirely compatible - never mind entering into a romantic relationship.

Still - always a fun topic to be arguing over though.

I'm sorry ... but I think it'd have to be no.

Or maybe I should give it another try ...?

Frou Frou - 'It's Good To Be In Love'

Album: Details

Saw an advertisement at a bus stop this morning which said, "Pimp your mind".

It stumped me for a moment as to why anyone would exhort another to "pimp your mind". I mean, seriously: Why?

I've always thought the mind was promiscuous, but it's not the same as whorish.

... Is it?