Tricky - 'Hell Is Round The Corner'

Album: Tricky: A Ruff Guide

'Round the corner' means this Friday for some people.

My own hell is perhaps a little farther down the street.

Being in HR kinda sucks. I feel like I work for the Angel of Death - or Death. Death wields the scythe while I hold the basket into which heads roll.

Worse: everything is "highly confidential", meaning I can't tell anybody, and I just gotta.

I feel so alone and crummy ...

=(

Nellie McKay with k.d. lang - 'We Got It Right'

Album: Pretty Little Head

Affirmations.

Maybe I need to start doing those, like fifteen times a day. That's fifteen times per affirmation.

Wonder if I could be arsed to do that, and for how long I could be arsed to do it.

कुनाल गंजवाला - 'तू' (Version A)

Album: Mumbai Matinee

I no longer trust my intuition when it comes to people who attract me (on any level); not the least after Charles' ENGL 114 tutorial on which he touched on 'stalker mentality'.

Am such a prime candidate when it comes to stalker mentality ... =(

Tracy Chapman - 'Give Me One Reason'

Album: New Beginning

Are we all living like this? Two lives, the ideal outer life and the inner imaginative life where we keep our secrets?



Winterson, Jeanette. Sexing The Cherry. London: Vintage, 1990.

सुनिधि चौहान - 'जिस्म'

Album: वैसा भी होता है Part II

As Hege said: We've learned a full four-minute choreography!!

If I were prettier of face, and sexier of figure, I'd be working at the Mermaid (or, a classier joint down Vivian, as Chih'd recommended) for my tuition fees and living expenses.

I'd be back in Welly ...

Frankie Chan & Roel A. Garcia - 'First Love (Young Lover Blues #1)'

Album: 墮落天使 OST

I hate it when my horoscope dangles a tantalizing piece of hope in front of me and doesn't follow through.

Where's my meeting with the 100% Perfect Girl for me? Where's my fucking falling in love at first sight?

... Bloody cards. You're all of you blank! Duds!

=/

Bernadette Peters - 'Being Alive'

Album: Sondheim, Etc.: Bernadette Peters Live at Carnegie Hall

When I left England I thought I was running away. Running away from uncertainty and confusion but most of all running away from myself. I thought I might become someone else in time, grafted on to something better and stronger. And then I saw that the running away was a running towards. An effort to catch up with my fleet-footed self, living another life in a different way.



Winterson, Jeanette. Sexing The Cherry. London: Vintage, 1990.

कैलाश खेर - 'अल्लाह के बंधे'

Album: वैसा भी होता है Part II

Got this wood box puzzle on Sunday; measures about 4" X 2.5" X 1", and appears to have no visible openings or locking mechanism. There's something inside the box rattling it.

Trying to figure out how to open it, I thought about how the box was like my heart, and the unseen, unknown object in it, me.

When I finally manage to open it and get a glimpse of what is in there, I'll close it.

And give it to someone to puzzle over.

I hope that someone won't give up until the box is opened.

Shudder To Think with Nina Persson - 'Appalachian Lullaby'

Album: First Love, Last Rites

Don't know why, but it's getting harder and harder to wake these mornings.

A lot of things, I guess they're born psychosomatically.

I need ... something. Something. Nearly desperately.

And it's not just sleep.

सोनू निगम और श्रेया घोसल - 'धीरे जलना'

Album: पहेली OST (2005)

First thing I'd heard in my head this morning:

धीरे जलना धीरे जलना धीरे जलना
ज़िंदगी की लौ पे जलना
धीरे जलना धीरे जलना धीरे जलना
ज़िंदगी की लौ पे जलना
कांच का सपना गल ही ना जाए
सोच समझके आंच रखना
धीरे जलना धीरे जलना धीरे जलना
धीरे धीरे धीरे धीरे धीरे जलना
होना है जो होना है वोह
होने से रुकता नहीं
आसमान तो झुकता नहीं

(Burn slowly ...
  Burn in the flame of life
  Burn slowly ...
  Burn in the flame of life
  Your fragile dream might melt
  Think carefully before nursing the flame
  Burn slowly ...
  Slowly, slowly ... burn
  What has to happen, will happen
  It won't stop from happening
  just as the sky doesn't lower to the earth

Translation from BollyWHAT)

ABBA - 'Dancing Queen'

Album: Greatest Hits

One should own at least one video of a heartwarming story with drag queens as protagonists.

.
.
.

I'm afraid that, not-too-deep-down, I'm really, really, a drag queen at heart.

वसुदारा दास और काय काय - 'चले जैसे हवाईएँ'

Album: मैं हूँ ना OST

Felt the train of my existence come to a grinding halt today - the squealing protests of the wheels on the tracks, the barely-felt inertia because the train was going really slow anyway.

One thought: one revelation.

But I've forgotten it now.

So the train slowly chugs on. In complete ignorance ... but not bliss.

कविता सुब्रमण्यम और उदित नारायण - 'चलो चले पुरवा'

Album: नायक OST

Yesterday, I missed cuddling.

Today, I missed 'accidental' butterfly kisses on my neck - you know, when you're cuddling that someone, their cheek on your collarbone, and they blink.



I must be PMS-ing.

Tricky - 'Aftermath'

Album:

Then. Then what? Then what happened? What can I say? I like being on my own better than I like anything else, but I can't give up love. Maybe it's the tension between longing and aloneness that I need. My own funicular railway, holding in balance the two things most likely to destroy me.



Winterson, Jeanette. The PowerBook. Great Britain: Jonathan Cape, 2000.