Bernadette Peters - 'Being Alive'

Album: Sondheim, Etc.: Bernadette Peters Live at Carnegie Hall

When I left England I thought I was running away. Running away from uncertainty and confusion but most of all running away from myself. I thought I might become someone else in time, grafted on to something better and stronger. And then I saw that the running away was a running towards. An effort to catch up with my fleet-footed self, living another life in a different way.



Winterson, Jeanette. Sexing The Cherry. London: Vintage, 1990.

कैलाश खेर - 'अल्लाह के बंधे'

Album: वैसा भी होता है Part II

Got this wood box puzzle on Sunday; measures about 4" X 2.5" X 1", and appears to have no visible openings or locking mechanism. There's something inside the box rattling it.

Trying to figure out how to open it, I thought about how the box was like my heart, and the unseen, unknown object in it, me.

When I finally manage to open it and get a glimpse of what is in there, I'll close it.

And give it to someone to puzzle over.

I hope that someone won't give up until the box is opened.

Shudder To Think with Nina Persson - 'Appalachian Lullaby'

Album: First Love, Last Rites

Don't know why, but it's getting harder and harder to wake these mornings.

A lot of things, I guess they're born psychosomatically.

I need ... something. Something. Nearly desperately.

And it's not just sleep.

सोनू निगम और श्रेया घोसल - 'धीरे जलना'

Album: पहेली OST (2005)

First thing I'd heard in my head this morning:

धीरे जलना धीरे जलना धीरे जलना
ज़िंदगी की लौ पे जलना
धीरे जलना धीरे जलना धीरे जलना
ज़िंदगी की लौ पे जलना
कांच का सपना गल ही ना जाए
सोच समझके आंच रखना
धीरे जलना धीरे जलना धीरे जलना
धीरे धीरे धीरे धीरे धीरे जलना
होना है जो होना है वोह
होने से रुकता नहीं
आसमान तो झुकता नहीं

(Burn slowly ...
  Burn in the flame of life
  Burn slowly ...
  Burn in the flame of life
  Your fragile dream might melt
  Think carefully before nursing the flame
  Burn slowly ...
  Slowly, slowly ... burn
  What has to happen, will happen
  It won't stop from happening
  just as the sky doesn't lower to the earth

Translation from BollyWHAT)

ABBA - 'Dancing Queen'

Album: Greatest Hits

One should own at least one video of a heartwarming story with drag queens as protagonists.

.
.
.

I'm afraid that, not-too-deep-down, I'm really, really, a drag queen at heart.

वसुदारा दास और काय काय - 'चले जैसे हवाईएँ'

Album: मैं हूँ ना OST

Felt the train of my existence come to a grinding halt today - the squealing protests of the wheels on the tracks, the barely-felt inertia because the train was going really slow anyway.

One thought: one revelation.

But I've forgotten it now.

So the train slowly chugs on. In complete ignorance ... but not bliss.

कविता सुब्रमण्यम और उदित नारायण - 'चलो चले पुरवा'

Album: नायक OST

Yesterday, I missed cuddling.

Today, I missed 'accidental' butterfly kisses on my neck - you know, when you're cuddling that someone, their cheek on your collarbone, and they blink.



I must be PMS-ing.

Tricky - 'Aftermath'

Album:

Then. Then what? Then what happened? What can I say? I like being on my own better than I like anything else, but I can't give up love. Maybe it's the tension between longing and aloneness that I need. My own funicular railway, holding in balance the two things most likely to destroy me.



Winterson, Jeanette. The PowerBook. Great Britain: Jonathan Cape, 2000.

Holly Golightly & The Brokeoffs - 'Jesus Don't Love Me'

Album: You Can't Buy A Gun When You're Crying

Night of one part wonder, two parts coincidence. Sweet ass.



Am resisting and desisting: Hello there Mr. Button, have you met Ms. Finger?

Tee hee hee!

Maximilian Hecker - 'Rose'

Album: Rose

Been looking for the song to hit the aural-emotional sweet spot. Nothing seems right - too soft/too slow/not depressing enough/minor key not minor enough ...

For a moment, I thought 'Rose' could be the one - if I played it loud enough - but now I realize it doesn't, not exactly, not really.

Maybe I need Nirvana ...?

Man Man - 'Engwish Bwudd'

Album: Six Demon Bag

Ang mo men freak me out. Literally.

Which is a wee bit strange because I happen to love (naturally) redheaded chicks - red, orange, carrot-top, strawberry-blond, whatever - there's just something about them.

Man, talk about double-standards ...

k.d. lang - 'What Better Said'

Album: Invincible Summer

Otto Hoffmann
The quest is to be liberated from the negative, which is really our own will to nothingness. And once having said yes to the instant, the affirmation is contagious. It bursts into a chain of affirmations that knows no limit. To say yes to one instant is to say yes to all of existence.



Waking Life. Richard Linklater, 2001.

Yes ...?

Shivaree - 'New Casablanca'

Album: Who's Got Trouble

Please take me out of here
So we can have a ball
I've been tied up
My face against the wall

Who's got trouble
We've got trouble
Go ahead make mine a double
I do declare I'm in a state
And I just can't wait

Still not over it; can't believe it, but it's true.

I'm still not over it.

Don't seem like I'll ever get over it.

Don't seem like it, at all.

Bon Jovi - 'Someday I'll Be Saturday Night'

Album: Crossroad

To avoid discovery I stay on the run. To discover things for myself I stay on the run.



Winterson, Jeanette. The PowerBook. Great Britain: Jonathan Cape, 2000.

Guess this is a better reason to be running.