UUUUGGGHHH

Why does nearly every single fucking shot in SOTY feature a dude's bare chest?! Why does the camera linger over Dhawan's and Malhotra's crotches, chests, and abs? WHY the fuck WHY?!

Oi, button up, bitches.

I'm trying to watch the bloody show here and it's already hard enough with that crap storyline.

Further nitpicking:

• Alia Bhatt looked the part of the student (she must've been underage at the time of shooting); Malhotra looked like a pedo because of that.
• I don't know anything about Indian accents or dialects of Hindi, but Dhawan sounded ... a little strange to me. In Humpty Sharma, I'd thought he affected that accent/tone for his role, but even in Koffee with Karan he sounded like that.
• Sure, all gay men are queens, like you. STOP PERPETUATING THAT FUCKING STEREOTYPE. Yes, Ronit Roy is super hot (hello, tattoo!), but this isn't The Birdcage, so why is Rishi Kapoor playing Albert?
• LOL SOTY challenges — treasure hunt?! Dance-off, and eliminated if dateless?! WTF school is this — Sweet Valley High meets Riverdale High?!
• Why couldn't Shanaya have gone to the stupid prom/dance competition with Shruti?
• Shanaya walked funny because of the stripper heels they put her in. You want her to break her damn neck?!
• So, in that stupid love song set atop a snowy mountain, the girl got a fucking sleeveless kurti while the erstwhile bared-chest boys wore turtlenecks and thermal jackets? WTF. Why not make them go topless?
• Rohan's dad despised Rohan's musician ambition but winning the stupid-ass dance competition and triathlon was something Rohan wanted to make his dad proud? WTF. I bet Rohan's dad would've blown a fucking fuse if Rohan said he wanted to be a dancer or athlete.
• Really, you guys gonna duke it out even after a fucking decade? Real mature, assholes. Just kiss and hug it out, boys. Now ... KISS!

... and through much forwarding through dumbass dances, workouts, macho posturing and petty fights, and resultant drama, I've managed to finish the damned show. The best part is Kayoze Irani's character, Sudo(?) giving it to the Dean. You go, girl — preach it!

Another positive: Dhawan's eyebrows. I swear. They're really pretty — even more than any of the girls in the movie, even more than the leading lady.

Question: why couldn't Abhi and Rohan be foes-turned-friends-turned-foes-turned-LOVERS?! That hug in front of the hospital was pretty damned sweet, and Shanaya could've been Rohan's beard. In fact, a better story with appropriate camp that would've accounted for many songs and dances would be Abhi and Rohan falling in and out and back in love, struggling to come out to Shanaya and the whole fucking heteronormative world. And when they finally do, admitting to be madly in love with each other ... AN EXPLOSION OF COLORS AND SONG AND DANCE!

All this queer girl is asking from this queer director is a little more queerness in his movies. Is really too much?!

(That 'Radha' song I liked a lot though. Dhawan is the better dancer (dude's got rhythm) and Malhotra's a little ... I dunno, stiff (uncomfortable dancing?); Alia needs to tighten up the moves a little (hiphop and jazz classes should help).