The Swell Season - 'Alone Apart'

Album: The Swell Season



Chiang Mai is quite lovely - cheap food and accommodations - and plenty of friendly dogs and cats around.

But I miss you so much, chickie. Every day, every night.

=(

Rach and I made it to Chiang Mai - we had to get another one-way ticket because of my screw up - and, last night, we went out walking to the night bazaar.

We'll be here 'til Friday. I swear, this place looks even better than the pictures. I could really just sit in the lobby the entire day and surf the net or read a book.

Not to mention, free 24-hour net access and free wifi in the rooms - unfortunately, my laptop can't detect any available wireless network. =(

The sound of you sleeping

The period just before I'm due to travel is always fraught with anxiety for me. Prolly because I'm a worrier, and highly strung.

Managed to screw up the itinerary and tickets royally. Tomorrow, Rach and I will have to chance it. I can never get anything right ...

Never mind The Prophet, give me The Profit.

Norma Waterson - 'Pleasure And Pain'

Album: The Very Best of World Divas



I had a thought about it. This frustration I've been trying not to let spiral out of control, I'd put down to PMS (it could still very well be - except it's been here for so long), but could be from the lack of dance classes. They're the blinkers to keep me from noticing that I am - and have been - slipping "between the gaps, the reassuring stepping-stones".

Will be flying SIN/BBK/CNX/BBK/SIN from Tues to Sun. Hopefully I'd pick up some peace over there.

Otherwise, I'm buying a copy of The Prophet and will try to give up acquisitions and possessions.

The sound of you sleeping

Friday, was introduced to a lady (friend of a friend of Jen's) and in the course of small talk, she told me, "You must be comfortable in your own skin" - which was in reference to my naked face.

I laughed, thinking it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Especially now. I'm not comfortable, period.

And, I hate packing for myself.

Yusef Lateef - 'The Plum Blossom'

Album: Eastern Sounds



Was googling the other day for a simple program (like MS Paint - not quite sure why it's not been installed in my office desktop) to draw something and found GIMP which I think is rather cool program - and user-friendly, too.

'Busy' surfing MeFi now that I'm bored of cataloging.

Busy, indeed.

Sigh

Stacie Orrico - 'I'm Not Missing You'

Album: Beautiful Awakening



I'm so completely free in the office that I'm completely tied up doing my personal shit.

Like, for instance, cataloging my collection of music.

So it's kinda tough for me to answer anyone who asks, "Busy much in the office?"

No ... and, yes.

The Frames - 'Where's My Mind' (Pixies cover)

The Frames live at the Hideout Block Party, 2007-09-08

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind
Where is my mind
Where is my mind

Denison Witmer - 'Northern Sky' (Nick Drake cover)

Album: Happy Birthday Denison



Today's word is malaise:

–noun

1. a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, often marking the onset of a disease.
   
2. a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy, or discomfort.

[Origin: 1768, from Fr. malaise, lit. "ill-ease," from mal "bad" + aise "ease".]

I wonder if I need to be slapped and kicked in the ass, or something. Violence as succor.

I, Handel, ask questions but can't answer them, I'm not a hero, only a chessboard knight hoping to be swifter than the game. While I kept my life to a series of clever moves, I felt well, almost happy, I left no time for reflection. I didn't want to see myself in the mirror. The tight chain of events began to separate, not physically, I was as busy as before, but emotionally, spiritually, I began to slip between the gaps, the reassuring stepping-stones were pushing farther and farther apart.



Winterson, Jeanette. Art & Lies: A Piece for Three Voices and a Bawd. Great Britain: Random House UK, 1994.

The sound of you sleeping

Something's ... off. Very off.

I feel off, and my life as well.

So insidious too, this ... off-ness.

And now I can't sleep.

Sigh.

The sound of you sleeping

I don't know what to do with myself.

Everything I do/learn, it seems I always do/learn the hard way, the long way, the tedious way. I wish I were a more intelligent being - something Mephisto thought he could mold me into, but might've since given up - and not so limited by ... I don't know; maybe I'd created those (illusions of?) limitations myself.

And maybe I should learn contentment, and stop wanting more.

But I know I'll never be contented with contentment.

Rearranged some of my stuff and cleaned some others. I'm outta space; I don't have space for my books and DVDs - especially books.

I should stop hoarding ...

'Tis time to let go.

The sound of you sleeping

I maded a pretty card for Jen's birthday! ^_^

Wonder what to do tomorrow now ... Sigh.

Maybe I will re-read some of my books or start on the ones I never got around to reading.

(What is it about having the abundance of something and not knowing what to do with it, when all those times you were in want of it you knew exactly what you'd do with it?)