Frou Frou - 'Hear Me Out'

Album: Details

This morning, I read this quote on the tag of my Celestial Seasonings Earl Grey teabag: "Where there's life, there's hope. - Terence"

I'm still alive, I know; therefore, I should still have hope.

Hope.

Sean Kingston - 'Beautiful Girls'

Album: Sean Kingston

The first two people I showed off my newest baby to had polar reactions.

Rach turned away, covering her eyes, shrieking, "Eeeeek!"

(A moment later, she turned back for a second look, apologizing, "Sorry, I freaked out ...")

Jit, however, the very first person who saw my baby, thought it was sexy; in fact, she liked it so much she wanted one ... but "only if I can get anesthesia first!" =/

Just for her positive reaction, I promised to get it on with her the next time we party.

Frou Frou - 'It's Good To Be In Love'

Album: Details

Realization of the day: I want someone who wants me, not someone who couldn't make up their mind or is unsure.

But I currently want someone I don't know wants me the same way I want them or not (I think not), but at least now I know who I'd like to give a lap dance to.



Maybe this will pass soon ...

Frou Frou - 'Ssh'

Album: Details

So I came home, went up to my room, and there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find the sister who told me, "Mom's been asking me if you're lesbian ..."

I nodded, and shut the door.

Am still too enamoured with my newest baby to worry or care.

I know what I'd written before, but I was so down when I left work today (arrivederci, Mephisto), I tumbled straight into the arms of my usual comforter.

Can't wait for him to send me the pic of my (still unnamed) baby!

Doobie Brothers - 'Listen to the Music'

Album: Greatest Hits

I thought I was happy because I was kept so very busy at work, thought (laughably enough) I might be workaholic.

Then I realized ... I'm only not unhappy.

Because I didn't have the time or breath to dwell and linger on it.

Work doesn't make me happy; it only keeps me from thinking.

And when you don't think, you don't feel.

Abra Moore - 'Taking Chances'

Album: No Fear

I feel 'it' has plateaued, although I'm not quite sure what it is. Perhaps a large part of it my life, I think.

And I can't stand it.

No no no no no no, I can't.

But I don't know what to do about it.

Nine Inch Nails - 'Eraser'

Album: The Downward Spiral

I realized I've started spending the money I'd been saving towards building my castle; it's almost as if subconsciously I've already known for a fact the castle wouldn't be built and gave up all hope.

But it's just occurred to me that it's time to let go, so I can truly start anew.

Even if what I gotta let go and what I'm looking forward to and desire are almost the same thing.

Almost.

Gotta give up the dream I dreamed for the one I want to start dreaming.

I Am Kloot - 'Proof'

Album: I Am Kloot

I need something more.

.
.
.

If only I knew what.

Diana King - 'Shy Guy'

Album: Bad Boys OST

I just remembered her telling me how she liked this song when we were fourteen. A little strangely enough, I woke up hearing this song in my head, wondering why.

Ohhh ... she's pregnant and engaged; wish I could give her a big, big hug.

I do wonder sometimes if I tended to be drawn to girls who are a lot like her after meeting her, because she's just ... everything.

Like she'd set the benchmark or something.

The second girl I followed after (the first being Lizard), but ... the first girl, first woman, in everything else.

k.d. lang - 'Sexuality'

Album: All You Can Eat

It's occurred to me that I want - need - to be seduced.






By Aphrodite, if I could have it my way.

Hector El Father - 'Esta Noche De Travesura'

Album: Hip Hop and Reggaeton Revolution

We found the fuck-you boots today, Jit and I! Black shiny PVC with stiletto heels!

I feel they're changing me, the girls; not certain at all the change is a positive one, but ... I seem to be enjoying myself, so for once I'm gonna fuck it and just live it up while it lasts.

Pole sessions on temporary hiatus 'til we find a new studio, I now have the exotic dance performance team rehearsals to look forward to.

And a pole/exotic/strip/lap dance "boot camp".



Somehow, though, I know it's so wrong to be blinkered by all these ...

Arash ft. Rebecca - 'Temptation'

Album: Arash

Fuck.

Can't sleep.

No pole session tomorrow as studio has been sold.

There was this woman who was on the same flights to and fro: Very strongly attractive; and I couldn't stop looking at her.

I wonder if she recognized me - or at least my Birkies - the second time round ...

Erma Franklin - 'Take A Little Piece Of My Heart'

Album: The Very Best of the Blues

Every time I fly (back) into Singabloodypore, it's a confirmation of how this place really, really sucks, which is why, whenever a (non-Singaporean) friend asks what Singapore has to offer to a tourist, I'd be stumped.

I think my favorite buy of this trip - the first in more than six months(!) - would be a (secondhand) copy of Early Erotic Photography for just SGD 8!



Don't dare to think what awaits me in the office on Monday ... =(

Mama Cass Elliot - 'Dream A Little Dream'

Album: The Best of the Mamas and the Papas

Well.

Soon to be off for most of the week, and packing's a bitch. I keep thinking I'm going to Bangkok (I'm not), which is pretty strange.

It is inertia alone that keeps me in one place.