Album: Greatest Hits
I thought I was happy because I was kept so very busy at work, thought (laughably enough) I might be workaholic.
Then I realized ... I'm only not unhappy.
Because I didn't have the time or breath to dwell and linger on it.
Work doesn't make me happy; it only keeps me from thinking.
And when you don't think, you don't feel.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Abra Moore - 'Taking Chances'
Album: No Fear
I feel 'it' has plateaued, although I'm not quite sure what it is. Perhaps a large part of it my life, I think.
And I can't stand it.
No no no no no no, I can't.
But I don't know what to do about it.
I feel 'it' has plateaued, although I'm not quite sure what it is. Perhaps a large part of it my life, I think.
And I can't stand it.
No no no no no no, I can't.
But I don't know what to do about it.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Nine Inch Nails - 'Eraser'
Album: The Downward Spiral
I realized I've started spending the money I'd been saving towards building my castle; it's almost as if subconsciously I've already known for a fact the castle wouldn't be built and gave up all hope.
But it's just occurred to me that it's time to let go, so I can truly start anew.
Even if what I gotta let go and what I'm looking forward to and desire are almost the same thing.
Almost.
Gotta give up the dream I dreamed for the one I want to start dreaming.
I realized I've started spending the money I'd been saving towards building my castle; it's almost as if subconsciously I've already known for a fact the castle wouldn't be built and gave up all hope.
But it's just occurred to me that it's time to let go, so I can truly start anew.
Even if what I gotta let go and what I'm looking forward to and desire are almost the same thing.
Almost.
Gotta give up the dream I dreamed for the one I want to start dreaming.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Diana King - 'Shy Guy'
Album: Bad Boys OST
I just remembered her telling me how she liked this song when we were fourteen. A little strangely enough, I woke up hearing this song in my head, wondering why.
Ohhh ... she's pregnant and engaged; wish I could give her a big, big hug.
I do wonder sometimes if I tended to be drawn to girls who are a lot like her after meeting her, because she's just ... everything.
Like she'd set the benchmark or something.
The second girl I followed after (the first being Lizard), but ... the first girl, first woman, in everything else.
I just remembered her telling me how she liked this song when we were fourteen. A little strangely enough, I woke up hearing this song in my head, wondering why.
Ohhh ... she's pregnant and engaged; wish I could give her a big, big hug.
I do wonder sometimes if I tended to be drawn to girls who are a lot like her after meeting her, because she's just ... everything.
Like she'd set the benchmark or something.
The second girl I followed after (the first being Lizard), but ... the first girl, first woman, in everything else.
k.d. lang - 'Sexuality'
Album: All You Can Eat
It's occurred to me that I want - need - to be seduced.
By Aphrodite, if I could have it my way.
It's occurred to me that I want - need - to be seduced.
By Aphrodite, if I could have it my way.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Hector El Father - 'Esta Noche De Travesura'
Album: Hip Hop and Reggaeton Revolution
We found the fuck-you boots today, Jit and I! Black shiny PVC with stiletto heels!
I feel they're changing me, the girls; not certain at all the change is a positive one, but ... I seem to be enjoying myself, so for once I'm gonna fuck it and just live it up while it lasts.
Pole sessions on temporary hiatus 'til we find a new studio, I now have the exotic dance performance team rehearsals to look forward to.
And a pole/exotic/strip/lap dance "boot camp".
Somehow, though, I know it's so wrong to be blinkered by all these ...
We found the fuck-you boots today, Jit and I! Black shiny PVC with stiletto heels!
I feel they're changing me, the girls; not certain at all the change is a positive one, but ... I seem to be enjoying myself, so for once I'm gonna fuck it and just live it up while it lasts.
Pole sessions on temporary hiatus 'til we find a new studio, I now have the exotic dance performance team rehearsals to look forward to.
And a pole/exotic/strip/lap dance "boot camp".
Somehow, though, I know it's so wrong to be blinkered by all these ...
Arash ft. Rebecca - 'Temptation'
Album: Arash
Fuck.
Can't sleep.
No pole session tomorrow as studio has been sold.
There was this woman who was on the same flights to and fro: Very strongly attractive; and I couldn't stop looking at her.
I wonder if she recognized me - or at least my Birkies - the second time round ...
Fuck.
Can't sleep.
No pole session tomorrow as studio has been sold.
There was this woman who was on the same flights to and fro: Very strongly attractive; and I couldn't stop looking at her.
I wonder if she recognized me - or at least my Birkies - the second time round ...
Erma Franklin - 'Take A Little Piece Of My Heart'
Album: The Very Best of the Blues
Every time I fly (back) into Singabloodypore, it's a confirmation of how this place really, really sucks, which is why, whenever a (non-Singaporean) friend asks what Singapore has to offer to a tourist, I'd be stumped.
I think my favorite buy of this trip - the first in more than six months(!) - would be a (secondhand) copy of Early Erotic Photography for just SGD 8!
Don't dare to think what awaits me in the office on Monday ... =(
Every time I fly (back) into Singabloodypore, it's a confirmation of how this place really, really sucks, which is why, whenever a (non-Singaporean) friend asks what Singapore has to offer to a tourist, I'd be stumped.
I think my favorite buy of this trip - the first in more than six months(!) - would be a (secondhand) copy of Early Erotic Photography for just SGD 8!
Don't dare to think what awaits me in the office on Monday ... =(
Monday, September 17, 2007
Mama Cass Elliot - 'Dream A Little Dream'
Album: The Best of the Mamas and the Papas
Well.
Soon to be off for most of the week, and packing's a bitch. I keep thinking I'm going to Bangkok (I'm not), which is pretty strange.
It is inertia alone that keeps me in one place.
Well.
Soon to be off for most of the week, and packing's a bitch. I keep thinking I'm going to Bangkok (I'm not), which is pretty strange.
It is inertia alone that keeps me in one place.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Daddy Yankee - 'Gasolina'
Album: Barrio Fino
I'd meant to post a reminder-to-self about something that'd seemed to be pretty revelation-ary.
... What was that thought I had again?
Grrr.
Don't you just hate it when you don't get drunk - or even just high - enough to forget you've forgotten to remember?
=/
Hmm ... 'Gasolina'.
Still. Vant. To. Dance. Reggaeton just rocks, lah.
I'd meant to post a reminder-to-self about something that'd seemed to be pretty revelation-ary.
... What was that thought I had again?
Grrr.
Don't you just hate it when you don't get drunk - or even just high - enough to forget you've forgotten to remember?
=/
Hmm ... 'Gasolina'.
Still. Vant. To. Dance. Reggaeton just rocks, lah.
Blog 27 - 'I Still Don't Know Ya'
Album: LOL
Has been an odd sorta day, I think, though not a bad one at all.
Danced with a sexy (yes, Hege was right; he was sexy, in retrospect) bald guy (last event of this loooong day). He was a pretty good dancer, salsa background maybe. Hege speculated he might be Cuban; I don't know any better.
Unfortunately, he and I had different agendas.
As I told Hege, "Just because I find your couch pretty doesn't mean I want to fuck it ..."
I wish I found him attractive though ... =(
Has been an odd sorta day, I think, though not a bad one at all.
Danced with a sexy (yes, Hege was right; he was sexy, in retrospect) bald guy (last event of this loooong day). He was a pretty good dancer, salsa background maybe. Hege speculated he might be Cuban; I don't know any better.
Unfortunately, he and I had different agendas.
As I told Hege, "Just because I find your couch pretty doesn't mean I want to fuck it ..."
I wish I found him attractive though ... =(
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Radiohead - 'Creep'
Album: Pablo Honey
Goddess, this song is So Fucking Emo.
Unfortunately, things are only ever funny when they happen to someone else ...
I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here
I don't belong here
Goddess, this song is So Fucking Emo.
Unfortunately, things are only ever funny when they happen to someone else ...
Radiohead - 'Creep'
Album: Pablo Honey
Had a thought today: I'm not pretty, not smart, definitely not funny, and have no abilities or talent whatsoever to speak of; so exactly what kinda career can I possibly have?
Guess all I want is to find something I like doing, and do it best as I could.
(Also, in reaction to certain ... doctrine ... inculcated since childhood, to strive to be as ugly as I can manage - I don't think that's entirely bizarre at all.)
Maybe I can be a professional wallflower or doormat.
That's a thought ...
Had a thought today: I'm not pretty, not smart, definitely not funny, and have no abilities or talent whatsoever to speak of; so exactly what kinda career can I possibly have?
Guess all I want is to find something I like doing, and do it best as I could.
(Also, in reaction to certain ... doctrine ... inculcated since childhood, to strive to be as ugly as I can manage - I don't think that's entirely bizarre at all.)
Maybe I can be a professional wallflower or doormat.
That's a thought ...
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