Nirvana - 'About A Girl'

Album: Bleach

After listening to my "... but when it hurts, it really hurts ...", Rachael had remarked, "It sounds like you're in an abusive relationship - emotionally-abusive relationship."

I'm not; I'm just ... tender, I guess. And, in a way, I revel in the pain like a pig in its own muck. Either pain is a comfort zone, or I'm a masochist in my own way, I guess.

What a strange evening this has been: Zenzi, Wil, Rachael, Roger, Taufik. Postponements and cancellations upon chance meetings and spontaneous invitations.

And I realized I no longer like being touched by a male, friend or no, unless I know he's gay. This is, frankly, truly disturbing.

Foo Fighters - 'Next Year'

Album: There Is Nothing Left To Lose

Just so happened that my mp3 player kept playing 'Next Year' this morning; reminded me of the times in Welly I played it, especially in 2004: Every time I heard this track, it depressed me.

But this morning, listening to this song after a hiatus of two years, it gave me hope. Hope.

It's all in the perspective.

Belle & Sebastian - 'You Made Me Forget My Dreams'

Album: Lazy Line Painter Jane

Don't remember having another bizarre dream last night, but I suppose I didn't have enough time to dream, what with two texts from Jit at 1 AM and one from Geeta at 6 AM keeping me awake and waking me up.

Boy am I tired ...

Belle & Sebastian - 'A Century Of Fakers'

Album: 3 - 6 - 9 Seconds of Light

This August month seems to be passing so quickly.

Geeta's back from Myammar and texted me. Has she only been away for a couple of months? So much seems to have happened since she left.

Relativity?

Van Morrison - 'Brown Eyed Girl'

Album: Blowin' Your Mind!

This day ... Sigh.

So hard to find my way / Now that I'm all on my own ...



(Very danceable, this song.)

Fisher - 'Any Way'

Album: One

It occurred to me, this evening as I was going up on an escalator, that I fucking love going up on an escalator, and I felt like I could do that forever - on an escalator forever ascending.

But then I thought about how all things that go up must come back down, so I didn't want to be going up for too long, because my problem'd never been going up; no, it'd always been coming down. I think, when I was young, I'd climb so high up (slide? ladder? tree? hill?) I was stuck, because I was too scared to climb down.

So what I finally concluded was, I'd like to be going up and down continually on escalators.

It just seemed so ... wow.

You know?

Anoushka Shankar & Sting - 'The Book of My Life'

Album: Sacred Love

Terrifying thought: I haven't read a book in, maybe, months.

No wonder I'm getting (more) stupid. I can barely string together three words to form a coherent sentence now ... Ack.



And I'm a terrible dancer.

=(

Muse - 'Feeling Good' (Nina Simone cover)

Album: Queer As Folk Season 3

Pole. Kanya. Bought a bag from Topman (I don't like it when the boys get nicer accessories than the girls). Average dinner served with great conversation.

This day hasn't been half bad, lah.

=)

(Muse does lovely covers, hot damn!)

Christina Aguilera - 'Nasty Naughty Boy'

Album: Back To Basics

Be seein' you in 11 hours, big boy - can't wait till I get my hands and legs around you and practise my moves.

Ack! I find myself reaching for every single freakin' pole and railing in sight, reaching to grasp them to assess their thickness (and, therefore, suitability). =/

You know ... If I removed my queen-sized bed and installed my own pole right in the middle of my bedroom and put up full-length mirrors on both walls, I'd have my own studio (albeit a rather small one)!

I think it's doable! I can sleep in the balcony or the piano room!

K's Choice - '20,000 Seconds'

Album: Cocoon Crash

And so the real waiting ... begins.

Ornob - 'Shey Je Boshe Ache'

Just gotta remember: I can and will do this, get through this.

Determination.



... Or stubbornness?

Tanya Chua - 'It's Your Chance'

Album: Chicken Rice War OST

Took stock of stuff today: I've been slacking for too long.

It's time I quit complaining about not having enough time. As Wil'd suggested: "... time cannot be made [...] time can however be stretched, molded, twisted, and compressed."

And, most importantly, time is relative.

I'm (re)directing my focus now on two things - studies, and dance. Everything else will have to be secondary, or even tertiary.

Now it's your chance to do what you wanna do
There's no time to waste
The day is still young, the world waits for no one
What are you waiting for?

What, indeed.

Aqualung - 'Brighter Than Sunshine'

Album: Still Life

It's been a long day.

So glad my after-hours are so much nicer than my office ones ... even if they were so much fewer.

=)

Hooverphonic - 'Mad About You'

Album: A Lot Like Love OST

My first pole dancing class overshadowed the fact that we've graduated from three modules of exotic dance yesterday! That's about five choreographies (two chair-work, one lap dance, and one floor-work).

If I didn't so suck at dancing (and am prettier/have a better figure yadda yadda yadda), I'd like to do that as a part time job or something.

Guess I best focus on pole dancing now.

Would be nice to live in a studio apartment that's also a dance studio: French windows. Mirrors. Barre.

Pole.