Rufus Wainwright - 'Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk'

Album: Poses

She called me early this evening, "just wanted to check on how you're doing", and asked if I were free tonight.

"Did you want to come over?" I asked; she did. "Why didn't you call me yesterday? I was ... free yesterday."

"Why didn't you call me?" she asked in reply.

I have so much to tell her. Not tonight. Soon.

So please be kind if I'm a mess.

Elliot Smith - 'Miss Misery'

Album: Either/Or

I think I need her today, need to talk to her, to unload.

But I'm afraid to need people, afraid to tell them I need them.

I don't want her to turn me down when I ask her to come over tonight, so I didn't.

It's so crazy-stupid that I don't ask because I don't like being rejected, but the end result is the same: I get nothing.

Is it crazy-stupid to choose the softer route knowing the destination is the same?

Lilix - 'It's About Time'

Album: Falling Uphill

Tonight, I wonder if "it's over before it has begun" might actually be possible.

Can what has not happened not happen? Can you end something that has not started?



I don't think I'd ever want to find out.

Don't answer me.

James Kochalka - 'Honey I Sure Miss You' (Daniel Johnston cover)

Wil passed me a neatly folded sweatshirt before the movie began, "just in case you get cold later." He's such a sweetheart - glad he's a brother. (Tee hee!)

It reminded me about that first movie with Pumpkin.

Transformers was pretty fucking awesome. I was so tensed my back seized up a little. Could only clutch at Wil's (neatly folded) sweatshirt as nobody's hand was available. =(

Where's Pumpkin? I need to clutch at someone's hand and someone needs to shield my eyes.

=...(

My Chemical Romance - 'Teenagers'

Album: The Black Parade

It's late Sunday afternoon. My newest baby is nearly 72 hours old, and, officially, she has already beat Fern in subterfuge. (Fern lasted less than 24 hours.)

But I'm already getting over-antsy and wish I'd be found out soon. I should've been found out by now.

On the other hand, I'm a coward, I don't want the blow-out I know will follow; and I don't have any lies or excuses worked out, even now.

Am stuck between a rock and a bloody hard place, and I'd put myself there ...

=(

REM - 'Everybody Hurts'

Album: Automatic For The People

Maybe it's because I thought he not only looked boyish but also is boyish that when he asked me, "Did it hurt?", he just seemed so darn heartbreakingly sweet.

I told him 'not really' then mumbled something about it hurting more when you could actually see the needle puncturing your skin at high velocity than when you couldn't.

The truth was: It never did hurt as much as my heart when I thought what I thought.

Later, I would describe it to Affy and Germ as, "It doesn't hurt as much as a broken heart."

I guess nothing will.

Goldfrapp - 'Number 1'

Album: Supernature

I danced in the shower!

Nothing much, just a couple of body-isolation movements, really; moved without really thinking. I think I'm ready to dance again. So nice to dance with the shower running, joy joy joy to dance with water!

Tomorrow, the shit hits the fan.

And I was the one who'd flung it.

'Tis okay: I'm dancing again.

=)

Wilson Philips - 'Hold On'

Album: Wilson Philips

I know there is pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind, mmm
Is it really fair to feel this way inside

Someday somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you gonna let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day

OMG. Nicole ... =|

Gah! Nicole!

He's still lip-synching and dancing with his boa in my head!

Wilson Philips - 'Hold On'

Album: Wilson Philips

First stop was Alecs'. After I left, he called to tell me I'd left my T.S. Eliot Collected Poems behind. =/ The last time around, I'd left a copy of Chaucer's Sexual Poetics at Stege. I always seem to be leaving good books behind ...

Then was off to Happy Endings: Asian Boys Vol. 3. It was a fan-fucking-tabulous play ... except after the interval, there are parts that seemed to be preaching to the choir, so to speak. Bought a copy of Peculiar Chris (my adolescent fairytale-bible) and had it autographed by the author. =)

Am still miffed that there are no fairytales for little gay girls to look forward to in Singapore. It doesn't matter whether you're gay or not, it's the little boys who get everything, it seems ...

=(

रवि राग्स खोते - 'Pretty Woman'

Album: कल हो ना हो OST

कौन है वो अनजानी
वो है कोई काली या कोई किरण
या है कोई कहानी
उससे जितना देखूं उतना सोचूँ
क्या उससे मैं कहे दूं

Rickie Lee Jones - 'Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying'

Album: Flying Cowboys

The aches never really went away; am bruised for good.

Since I don't want to ache, I've rerouted my mind a little. Seems to work: All thoughts are beginning to be directed to something more concrete, more now.

But I'll allow myself this little grouse: I miss being treated like a princess.

Oh where have those days gone?

=(

Amy Winehouse - 'You Know I'm No Good'

Album: Back To Black

Suddenly, earworm is gone, and air rushes in to fill the vacuum. The static of white noise.

It's always a little strange after you emerged from a deep sea dive. Need to get your land legs first.

Waking up has been disorienting.

Perhaps I'd overslept.

Dolores O'Riordan - 'Human Spirit'

Album: Are You Listening?

I've no story to tell.

=(

Tummy still queasy.

Lizzie West - 'Chariots Rise'

Album: Secretary OST

The chariots
They rise up high in the sky
What a fool am I
To fall so in love
What a wonderful dream
It seems to be
'Cause I love him

Gaah! Insidious, persistent earworm!

=/