Evanescence - 'Call Me When You're Sober'

Album: The Open Door

"That person you were talking about - is it Wil?"

Gaah. Wil - whatthefuck? - Wil?! No, it is not Wil!

This is why I don't like talking to people about my puzzles: they assume too fucking much; more to that, they follow their fucking train of assumptions to a possibly logical but completely incorrect end.

At that very moment, lacking a wall and the energy to move my body, I thought: I need a Harvey fucking Wallbanger.

Lizzie West - 'Chariots Rise'

Album: Secretary OST

One cherry from Jen, one from my Appletini, and the bartender gave me three more arranged on a lovely bed of Blue Curacao-ed crushed ice out of the blue.

I got sober before we got into the cab.

Head pounding now. Sober, but with no cognitive abilities.

Yet, it seems almost laughable now - never mind a Gordian one, what knot? I prolly tied that knot in my head and imagined it there. It was never there in the first place.

Head pounding.



What a fool am I ...

Lizzie West - 'Chariots Rise'

Album: Secretary OST

There's no one I can talk to, no one I can tell.

But it's just so incredibly stupid to expect someone to understand when I myself don't.

I want to close my eyes and sleep, I feel like killing myself.

I could scream.

But I won't.

Something's gotta give. Soon.

Kick! - 'Jane'

Happiness: Reese's Peanutbutter Cups.

Headache: flexibility and compromise - the same thing?

I know what I want, and can honestly say I've put in the effort (not to mention the legwork) - so why am I not closer to my Grail?

Am I not trying hard enough?

Lizzie West - 'Chariots Rise'

Album: Secretary OST

I went to the other side of the island today, and failed miserably thrice. Denied three times in my quest.

So, so, so tired.

I won't give up. (And I have Plans B and C.)

सोनू निगम - 'जब जब दिल मिले'

Album: सिलसिले OST

Today's horoscope (one of them, anyway) says:

Loving someone also means knowing when to let go. So part of you may want to keep the situation status quo, but deep down you know that's just not feasible or healthy for either of you in the long run.

That's just the saddest horoscope I've come across in a while.

What's wrong with maintaining status quo? =(

Roy Orbison & k.d. lang - 'Crying'

Album: Roy Orbison - King of Hearts

Right now, I'm terrified almost to the point of tears: what if I can't ever dance again?

=...(

Feels like someone shat all over my life and now it stinks. Nothing is going right, everything is wrong.

Am feeling so wretched I wish someone'd pick me up and hold me and tell me everything will be okay, everything will be okay, promise.

=(

Primitive Radio Gods - 'Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand'

Album: Rocket

Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?

Am not sure, but I think ... you've turned away and shut up tight.

You're right, of course - there are things about which you're never wrong.

You'd spoken; once, twice, so many times before. I'm the one who needs to learn to speak.

I'd thought that a picture bespeaks a thousand words and that action speaks louder; there are things about which I'm never right.



But I still can't keep from hoping ...

नज़िया हस्सन - 'आप जैसा कोई'

Album: क़ुरबानी OST (1981)

You.

I know, but I'm letting you think that I don't. Or, perhaps, you know that I know and are letting me think that you don't.

Which is it? Am I getting my second chance, or was my first chance never destroyed by my own doing in the first place?

Or had it been destroyed, and all I have now is wishful thinking on my part?

"आप जैसी कोई मेरी ज़िंदगी में आई ..."

श्रेय घोसल - 'सिलसिला ये चाहत का'

Album: देवदास OST (2002)

Walking home from the bus-stop, all of a sudden, inexplicably, I felt cocooned in the old fuzzy and warm sweater of happiness.

'कहे छेड़ मोहे' was the atmosphere in my universe that was sheltered by my deliciously red brolly; lip-synching to the song, my steps jaunty, I was only vaguely reminded of rainy nights in Welly.

In the midst of a lonely trek in the arid desert, the taste of unadulterated happiness is nectar.

Melissa Etheridge - 'Come To My Window'

Album: Yes I Am

Am setting off on my quest tomorrow, alone, to Corbenic. Will I fail by a gasp, like Peredyr Arueu Dur; or will I succeed, like the pious Galahad?

Does it matter that I'm not doing it for me?


(Will also get a consultation for the next tattoo ... if I'm not completely put off by the dodginess of the joint.)

Tricky - 'Hell Is Round The Corner'

Album: Tricky: A Ruff Guide

'Round the corner' means this Friday for some people.

My own hell is perhaps a little farther down the street.

Being in HR kinda sucks. I feel like I work for the Angel of Death - or Death. Death wields the scythe while I hold the basket into which heads roll.

Worse: everything is "highly confidential", meaning I can't tell anybody, and I just gotta.

I feel so alone and crummy ...

=(

Nellie McKay with k.d. lang - 'We Got It Right'

Album: Pretty Little Head

Affirmations.

Maybe I need to start doing those, like fifteen times a day. That's fifteen times per affirmation.

Wonder if I could be arsed to do that, and for how long I could be arsed to do it.

कुनाल गंजवाला - 'तू' (Version A)

Album: Mumbai Matinee

I no longer trust my intuition when it comes to people who attract me (on any level); not the least after Charles' ENGL 114 tutorial on which he touched on 'stalker mentality'.

Am such a prime candidate when it comes to stalker mentality ... =(