The sound of you sleeping

I dreamed last night I was driving. It was scary, because in my dream (as in real life), I didn't know how to drive. All I had was one foot on the accelerator, which I stepped on to go faster, and released to slow down.

It's not having a foot on the brake (not knowing where the brake is!) that was heart-stopping, because that meant I couldn't come to a complete stop; all I could do was steer in attempt to keep from crashing into something - and that too with my lousy spatial judgment.

There's something to be made of this dream ... I'll figure what it means exactly later. Too much in my head right now. Sigh.

Watching you sleep

Oh Goddess, just let me have my period for the month already! I'm way past insufferable now.

And I just bought me a kilo of cookies today! =/

(To be fair, Candy Empire's having a sale, so the 500g bags were going one-for-one at SGD 9.80 each.)

I think maybe I'll try to excuse myself to rush to NZIS to submit my application during lunch tomorrow; Mephisto'll be back in the office on Thursday.

I'm beginning to listen to his favorite music.

Watching you sleep

The lost of momentum is frustrating - one delay leads to another - and now I'm feeling apathetic, can't be arsed. There's a great sense of futility. I've even lost the desire to cut my hair (which is what I promised myself I'll do, either when I submit my visa application, or when I receive my visa). Now I can't care less, even though my hair is starting to get really unmanageable.

Krezip - 'That'll Be Me'

Album: Days Like This



Today, we tried the crane drop again, and was taught the brass monkey. I'm not getting either, but, with the brass monkey, I might get it faster than the former.

On the brighter side, it's nice to have challenges in pole again. Mephisto objects to the concept of "challenges" though, because, he said, if something is a challenge to you, then you're allowing for the possiblity of failure, and when you even entertain the thought of failing in that endeavor, you'd've failed. He might be right - I didn't get either trick in my first attempt - but I also think I didn't succeed because I was scared.

Received the registration form for the pole competition today. (Should I join?) Tonight, I started putting together my exotic choreo, which is interesting - it's like parsing a convoluted sentence, or fixing a jigsaw puzzle.

Watching you sleep

I'm sorry you woke up at the ungodly hour of 04:45 to listen to me rant about my day at work.

PMS-ing during the full-moon is doubly bad. Intellectually, I can see I'm somehow magnifying the tiniest, inconsequential things into overwrought operas of the Wagnerian kind; but emotionally, psychologically, I'm unable to control myself.

Even worse when my paperweight isn't around.

So I'm feeling hurt and disappointed and very, very guilt-ridden - among other things.

I wonder if it would've been better if I hadn't taken up this job in the first place ...

The sound of you sleeping

After the lunch meeting with Jen, Mephisto commented, "She's short for her height!" She got the job, as I knew she would, and I'm pretty sure he likes her.

But, as we were having our expressos, he said, "... but the best would be that you forget your stupid plan to run off to New Zealand ..."

Which is bad.

But the bit that made me feel the worst was when I tried to ask him how he'd like the transition to be (whether he wanted a seamless one, or if he could live with a short gap without a PA), he told me, "I don't believe I care to discuss that."

Then he turned the stereo back on loud and changed the topic to the music blasting from his speakers.

=...(

The sound of you sleeping

(I don't know what I'm looking at!)

So tired.

I must have OCD - I feel really icky when the different parts of my life (which I obsessively keep separate) begins to touch one another ... and, worse, overlap.

I feel so, so icky. I don't like it.

=(

The sound of you sleeping

Spent the morning being pissed off at the incompetence of the university. Then, unable to focus on work (being tired and achey), I somehow hit upon the idea to look for the opening titles for old, old telly series I used to watch in the 90s.

... and wouldn't ya know it - Youtube's gotta whole bunch of 'em. Renegade? Highlander? Blossom? I lmao'd at Renegade's opening. (Did I really use to find all these long-haired guys - Lorenzo Lamas, Adrian Paul, Joey Lawrence - cute?)

And older ones: Petticoat Junction? Beverly Hillbillies?

Best nostalgic favorite finds? Fun House! Lady Lovely Locks!

Watching you sleep

How much longer is the bloody receipt gonna take to arrive? I think I've lost the momentum. Sigh ...

And work is so boring these days. I keep feeling like I'm anticipating a holiday - which sorta makes every day the eve of a holiday ... except it's not - and maybe that's keeping me more relaxed.

But Mephisto wants me to feel even more relaxed - albeit around him, with him. I guess he still hasn't figured out I'd screw up whether I'm highly strung or completely chilled out. Me, I figured I'd rather be on my toes.

The sound of you sleeping

Head is buzzing with music, moves, and choreos.

Why am I so tired?

There seems to be so much I'm looking forward to, I worry about disappointment.

The sound of you sleeping

Yesterday, on my way home, there was a toddler fretting in the bus behind me. I turned around and we made eye contact, and, deciding to be nice, I smiled at her. Her eyes rounded; she fell silent.

I turned back. Soon, she started fretting again, and I could feel her little hands on my back and ponytail (the bus was that packed). I turned to look at her again and she looked at me. I widened my eyes, she followed suit; I grinned, she followed suit.

Since she calmed, I turned back. But then she started mewing again, struggling in her mother's arms, and now the child was trying to grab my hair, trying to get my attention.

Indian babies seem to love me for some reason ...

Melissa Ferrick - 'Drive'

Album: Freedom



Most ... interesting work day I ever had, all the doing of my (aptly named) Chihli Padi.

Wet spot, baby, gets wetter.

;)

Acute case of badtimingytis tonight: I'm extremely tired (it's always Crash Night after Hump Day), and the laptop almost BSoD'd on me (forcing a long, drawn-out shut-down), then I got stabbed by a really by tummy-ache (which I'd initially thought was gastritis) followed by a bad case of diarrhea.

The stomach problem the boss talked about (which eventually sent him home early) - it's not contagious, is it? And I've a dinner date in Little India tomorrow, too ...

Badtimingytis - sigh.

=(

Robi Draco Rosa - 'Dancing In The Rain'

Yup, this is one song I'm currently addicted to, and our E2 choreo to it is absolutely gorgeous. (Hurrah for chair-work!)

The boss, today: "You know what?"

"What?"

The boss: "How come you don't invite me to lunch anymore?"

Hmm ... I was just thinking the same thing. But, lunch, you know, is such a pain in the ass when you just don't fucking know what to eat. Also: I never invited him; he invited himself.

Jen has a 50% chance of taking over my job.

... Perfect!