Yusef Lateef - 'The Plum Blossom'

Album: Eastern Sounds



Was googling the other day for a simple program (like MS Paint - not quite sure why it's not been installed in my office desktop) to draw something and found GIMP which I think is rather cool program - and user-friendly, too.

'Busy' surfing MeFi now that I'm bored of cataloging.

Busy, indeed.

Sigh

Stacie Orrico - 'I'm Not Missing You'

Album: Beautiful Awakening



I'm so completely free in the office that I'm completely tied up doing my personal shit.

Like, for instance, cataloging my collection of music.

So it's kinda tough for me to answer anyone who asks, "Busy much in the office?"

No ... and, yes.

The Frames - 'Where's My Mind' (Pixies cover)

The Frames live at the Hideout Block Party, 2007-09-08

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind
Where is my mind
Where is my mind

Denison Witmer - 'Northern Sky' (Nick Drake cover)

Album: Happy Birthday Denison



Today's word is malaise:

–noun

1. a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, often marking the onset of a disease.
   
2. a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy, or discomfort.

[Origin: 1768, from Fr. malaise, lit. "ill-ease," from mal "bad" + aise "ease".]

I wonder if I need to be slapped and kicked in the ass, or something. Violence as succor.

I, Handel, ask questions but can't answer them, I'm not a hero, only a chessboard knight hoping to be swifter than the game. While I kept my life to a series of clever moves, I felt well, almost happy, I left no time for reflection. I didn't want to see myself in the mirror. The tight chain of events began to separate, not physically, I was as busy as before, but emotionally, spiritually, I began to slip between the gaps, the reassuring stepping-stones were pushing farther and farther apart.



Winterson, Jeanette. Art & Lies: A Piece for Three Voices and a Bawd. Great Britain: Random House UK, 1994.

The sound of you sleeping

Something's ... off. Very off.

I feel off, and my life as well.

So insidious too, this ... off-ness.

And now I can't sleep.

Sigh.

The sound of you sleeping

I don't know what to do with myself.

Everything I do/learn, it seems I always do/learn the hard way, the long way, the tedious way. I wish I were a more intelligent being - something Mephisto thought he could mold me into, but might've since given up - and not so limited by ... I don't know; maybe I'd created those (illusions of?) limitations myself.

And maybe I should learn contentment, and stop wanting more.

But I know I'll never be contented with contentment.

Rearranged some of my stuff and cleaned some others. I'm outta space; I don't have space for my books and DVDs - especially books.

I should stop hoarding ...

'Tis time to let go.

The sound of you sleeping

I maded a pretty card for Jen's birthday! ^_^

Wonder what to do tomorrow now ... Sigh.

Maybe I will re-read some of my books or start on the ones I never got around to reading.

(What is it about having the abundance of something and not knowing what to do with it, when all those times you were in want of it you knew exactly what you'd do with it?)

Chris Pierce - 'All That Matters Is Now'

Album: Walking On The Earth



I have to start thinking of the world as full of possibilities, and that, whatever limitations and constrictions there are out there, the biggest one of all is really ... myself.

However, even as I consider the possibilities of living out of a suitcase for a couple of years and the possibilities there are out there, I've noticed myself turning down invitations.

Or maybe I'm just realigning some priorities. Maybe.

The sound of you sleeping

I only feel bad about not feeling bad enough to not want to keep you up ...

The sound of you sleeping

Went back to Art & Lies - again - today, and decided to (re)start from the beginning. It's all about loving something beautiful I don't understand.

With the way things are going for me now, I think it's time for a haircut.



(I feel unsettled when I don't hear from you for a long time. I think that was why I was so jumpy when I walked Doggie.)

Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová - 'If You Want Me'

Album: Once OST



I feel sort of sick and tired. Both literally and otherwise - but especially otherwise.

Also, am still reading Norwegian Wood and it's making me feel like I'm trapped in my isolation.

And lost.

The sound of you sleeping

Jaime's casual comment made me think; she said (to Sarah, referring to me), "She's always in her own world."

This was following my exchange with Sarah regarding her hair color. I'd remarked she'd dyed it, and she'd said, no, she was trying to grow out her dyed hair - and showed me the black roots. I told her - in surprise - that I'd never noticed that.

So Jaime's comment made me realize how self-absorbed I've been. I've always put it down to my lack of observation (when girl friends ask me to comment on their new haircuts or whatever) - but that's because I've no interest whatsoever.

Must learn to be more observant - of everything.

Mephisto was right ... again.