The sound of you sleeping

I maded a pretty card for Jen's birthday! ^_^

Wonder what to do tomorrow now ... Sigh.

Maybe I will re-read some of my books or start on the ones I never got around to reading.

(What is it about having the abundance of something and not knowing what to do with it, when all those times you were in want of it you knew exactly what you'd do with it?)

Chris Pierce - 'All That Matters Is Now'

Album: Walking On The Earth



I have to start thinking of the world as full of possibilities, and that, whatever limitations and constrictions there are out there, the biggest one of all is really ... myself.

However, even as I consider the possibilities of living out of a suitcase for a couple of years and the possibilities there are out there, I've noticed myself turning down invitations.

Or maybe I'm just realigning some priorities. Maybe.

The sound of you sleeping

I only feel bad about not feeling bad enough to not want to keep you up ...

The sound of you sleeping

Went back to Art & Lies - again - today, and decided to (re)start from the beginning. It's all about loving something beautiful I don't understand.

With the way things are going for me now, I think it's time for a haircut.



(I feel unsettled when I don't hear from you for a long time. I think that was why I was so jumpy when I walked Doggie.)

Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová - 'If You Want Me'

Album: Once OST



I feel sort of sick and tired. Both literally and otherwise - but especially otherwise.

Also, am still reading Norwegian Wood and it's making me feel like I'm trapped in my isolation.

And lost.

The sound of you sleeping

Jaime's casual comment made me think; she said (to Sarah, referring to me), "She's always in her own world."

This was following my exchange with Sarah regarding her hair color. I'd remarked she'd dyed it, and she'd said, no, she was trying to grow out her dyed hair - and showed me the black roots. I told her - in surprise - that I'd never noticed that.

So Jaime's comment made me realize how self-absorbed I've been. I've always put it down to my lack of observation (when girl friends ask me to comment on their new haircuts or whatever) - but that's because I've no interest whatsoever.

Must learn to be more observant - of everything.

Mephisto was right ... again.

Been trying to encourage Jen to go out and socialize more; Aileen and I agreed Jen should date.

But - where to start? How to start? I've no idea how Jen could expand her social circles - maybe join a class or a club or something - still, easier said than done, I think.

Then there's I.

These days, I feel like being left alone.

Except when I get home - I wish it was home to you.

The sound of you sleeping

I try to say something, but all I get are the wrong words - the wrong words or the exact opposite words from what I mean. I try to correct myself, and that only makes it worse. I lose track of what I was trying to say to begin with. It's like I'm split in two and playing tag with myself. One half is chasing the other half around this big, fat post. The other me has the right words, but this me can't catch her ...



Murakami, Haruki (trans. by Jay Rubin). Norwegian Wood. Great Britain: Vintage, 2003.

Wilco - 'On And On And On'

Album: Sky Blue Sky



Caught La Patinoire today (realized I really miss watching NHL matches); dinner at Hooters, and a drink at Azzucar (Rach stepped on my second toe with her dance heel; hopefully it won't erupt into something more serious).

Felt completely out of it, partly because of my reluctance to speak (due to a sore throat), and partly because I was tired and uninterested in the conversation.

Or maybe because I unconsciously didn't want to be there ...

How is the sun more of a friend and companion than the moon, that nights always seem lonelier than days?

Mz Ann Thropik - 'Off With Your Head'

Album: Sweet Love Beat



Alice In Wonderland was actually quite a scary cartoon for me when I was a child - the same way Waking Life and Paprika are scary for me now. Something about dreams in which "nothing makes sense" and of which you can't seem to get out.

Sometimes life seems that way; sometimes being me seems that way.

Must learn to discern when things are about me, and when they're not, when they can't and shouldn't be, when they never were and never will be (everything is all about me to me right now).

Dismal pole practice today; skipped jazz. Currently entertaining the thought: "To hell with jazz class."

Sunny Levine - 'Love Rhino'

Album: Love Rhino



Quite enjoyed myself today when I followed my classmates to Union Square after our class - especially dancing with Fred, who is a strong lead and tried new fun moves with me. I wish I could dance better - hopefully that would come with practice and time.

I really don't look forward to going to work anymore, but all I ask for is just a couple of days to sleep in and bum around the house.

Voicemail from c--

Sources of frustration:

1. The bloody heat
   
2. And the bloody humidity
   
3. In bloody Singapore
   
4. And being disconnected from Google Talk
   
5. Because of inexplicable ebbing of signal strength on wireless connection.

>=\

The sound of you sleeping

I wonder if all that itchy eyes and sneezing in the office were psychosomatic; certainly my frustration isn't.

So many hours, nothing at all to do; and not daring to do the things I want to do.

I think I am quite unhappy ...