So tired.

And the only thing I did today was pole class.

Gaah.

Space - 'Female of the Species'

Album: Spiders



Oy. Me and my big mouth ... =| I feel like it's my fault the evening ended in tears and recriminations - and I just don't fucking know how to rectify or even to alleviate the situation. I'm just gonna fucking STFU next time. All the time.

Also: I prolly drank too much again - fingers and toes feel swollen, which means I'm retaining water. Gaah. I didn't think I drank that much to begin with - just a cappucino, a Rusty Nail, and two whisky shots and some coke.

A.R. Rehman - 'Only You'

Album: Vande Mataram



Woke up about noon, and started my day with a बेसन लड्डू and a mug of fresh milk. Did nothing the entire day but eat, chat online and via Skype, eat, and eat ... I think I'm exhausted from trying to digest all that food.

Mother's brother's wife made mention of how long my mother's waiting for me to be married. Yesh, but I don't believe my mom's holding her breath ...

But - I survived this LNY. Good on me!

Arnob - 'Shey Je Boshe Ache'

Album: Chaina Bhabish



I started listening to only Hindi (and a few Tamil and one Bengali) tunes last evening. This morning, half-singing and half-humming said tunes, I figured it was an (allergic?) reaction to all the Chinese-ness around me. Really, I can't put into words how much I dread the Lunar New Year.

At the same time, I celebrate it my way: मेहँदी, मिठाई, and a good lunch.

Tomorrow, I'll start the Lunar New Year with a लड्डू (I bought three, two besan and one motichoor).

I thank Mephisto for the peach kirsch truffles - and for distracting me, today.

=)

Sinead Lohan - 'Loose Ends'

Album: No Mermaid



The blood test results concluded: "Findings are consistent with Beta thalassemia trait."

Thank Goddess - the timing couldn't be more perfect, what with the Lunar New Year looniness just around the corner.

I don't care what everybody else thinks; I think this is the fucking perfect excuse to not have my own offspring(s) ever. Talking about getting (male) partners and spouse tested, even my doc had mused, " ... I wonder how it's like - I mean, how do you pop the question during courtship?"

=)

Cat Power - 'Dreams' (Everly Brothers cover)

Album: Could We

Always ... lost on a Sunday. I've forgotten what I used to do, when I didn't use Sundays to pay off sleep debt and sleep off the previous night's excesses.

Gawd, I so do not look forward to the Lunar New Year. So pissed off at it - why am I stuck in Singapore for its duration when I'd rather be elsewhere?

Wish I could be like Mephisto and take off for that elsewhere on Wednesday night and fly in early Monday morning.

=(

Cat Power - 'Dreams' (Everly Brothers cover)

Album: Could We

At the Crazy Elephant, Rach - and, indirectly, her husband and friends - made me drink entirely too much. I had three JD-and-Cokes - and one shot of complimentary JD because Rach complained to our waitress my (second) drink "tastes like Coke". Saurabh bought a round of Jägerbomb, which I happily downed. (Hey, how to refuse a drink?)

I managed to dance nearly all the alcohol out of my system, but that swig I took from the bottle of JD Saurabh bought at the Rupee Room just now is fucking up my system currently.

I worry about my liver ... =(



Dreaming of you, as always ... 47 days, 14 hours, 10 minutes and 49 seconds more.

Cat Power - 'Dreams' (Everly Brothers cover)

Album: Could We



Said Mephisto, "You don't understand even this much" - finger and thumb an inch apart - "of yourself; if you stood in front of a mirror, you don't see yourself, or refuse to see ..." This was after he called me schvartze (or possibly schwarz - he meant 'dark') and gothic, and I refuted his claim.

Alecs gave good advice regarding piercings and jewelry. (I so do not need encouragement!)

At the Crazy Elephant, a couple of (possibly American, Aussie, or Kiwi) blokes borrowed my cell, resulting in texts that read, "whr did you & yr frend go frm the guy who lent your phone" and "you comd & play" - FAIL.

Eric Carmen - 'Hungry Eyes'

Album: Dirty Dancing OST



Z's (my salsa instructor) caveat at the beginning of our Beginners 1 class: "... and if you're thinking of Dirty Dancing or Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights - this is not it ..."

Aww ... There goes my childhood dream of dancing like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing ...

Social dancing: men lead; women follow.

Somehow, I'm not surprised I never wanted to salsa ...

K's Choice - 'I'm Not An Addict'

Album: Paradise In Me



Because I still have the bruise from last week's blood taking, Doc decided to try another vein. Unfortunately, he couldn't draw any blood after the needle'd been inserted so he had to move it around a little, to hit the vein. It really didn't hurt all that much, although feeling the needle being adjusted in me was a little weird. Doc said my pain threshold must be quite high; didn't tell him it hurt less than getting my micro-dermal inserted, or even my wrist inked.

Thought about getting pierced (septum?) at the end of March, but remembered I was also considering getting inked on my birthday.

No ... maybe not my birthday.

Hm ...

Mephisto called me a wimp ... again. =/

Bow Wow ft. Chris Brown - 'Shortie Like Mine'

Album: The Price of Fame

Counting down the days.

My god they're hard to fill.

I keep wondering why I'm still here - why I'd taken Mephisto's offer; I've forgotten why.

Mephisto had told me (more than once) that I ... serve a purpose - or, at least, would serve one.

So torn.

Fisher - 'Different Kind of Wonderful'

Album: Uppers

What the doc highlighted to me:

• Haemoglobin: 9.0 g/dL (normal range 12.0-16.0 g/dL)
  
• Haematocrit: 28% (normal range 36-46%)
  
• MCV: 58 fL (normal range 76-96 fL)
  
• MCH: 19 pg (normal range 27-32 pg)

He explained everything to me, but I didn't understand most of it. All I know is: he was happy that it wasn't Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), and that my kidneys are in the clear.

Results, as before:

Dyserythropoietic changes present. Iron deficiency and thalassaemia trait have to be considered.

Have to give up more blood this Saturday morning to ascertain whether it is the former or the latter.



Wish you were here already. =(

Bow Wow ft. Chris Brown - 'Shortie Like Mine'

Album: The Price of Fame

I think the crazy period is officially over - for now. Thing is, after passing craziness for normality for a certain period, after the craziness goes away, normality seems ... crazy - or, normality drives me crazy.

I've the Good Friday weekend to look forward to now, but I've gotta fill the days till then - all 73,440 minutes.