Federico Aubele - 'Esta Noche'

Album: Gran Hotel Buenos Aires

I don't know why it's taken me this long to realize saying 'yes' - making the conscious decision to say 'yes' - means opening myself to different experiences; that, indeed, "To say yes to one instant is to say yes to all of existence." (Otto Hoffman in Waking Life, Richard Linklater, 2001.)

Am I on an accelerated and steep learning curve here?



An hour with my (yes, mine) pole makes all the difference to my least favorite day of the week, the pinnacle of a dreary work week.

Mz Ann Thropik - 'Off With Your Head'

Album: Sweet Love Beat (Single)

I just had a thought; not sure what I was thinking when I thought it.

If I gave up an abandoned past and a future that may very well turn out to be merely a smokescreen ... even if I did -

Will there be anything - will there be more - that would come now?



What would I choose?

Tracy Bonham - 'Whether You Fall'

Album: The L Word: Season 3 OST

Have made the decision today to be a risk-taker. Calculated risk-taker. (Or maybe just to err less on this side of caution.)

And then I went and had about four inches of my hair lopped off (I wanted more, but my hairdresser wouldn't).

It always takes forever to blow-dry my hair, and as I watched the shampoo girl painstakingly part, pin up, and brush-and-blow-dry my hair, it occurred to me I'm a lot like my hair:

• Not entirely straight;
  
  
• Will have some semblance of straightness after much pain and effort;
  
  
• Will lose all semblance of straightness after a couple of hours in the breeze; and
  
  
• Needs to be heavily pulled down into straightness.

Goldfrapp - 'Human'

Album: Felt Mountain

I can't do the following without feeling something in my ribs and down my sides that spans the spectrum from mild discomfort to outright pain - inhale deeply, raise my arms, sneeze, blow my nose, laugh, and cough.

And that pleases me insanely; because that means I had pushed myself in yesterday's session (albeit, in my opinion, not nearly enough).

Can't wait for our extra session this Wednesday!

Nirvana - 'Lithium'

Album: In Utero

In addition to bruises on my feet, ankles, shins, knees, and inner thighs, today's haul includes bruises on my ribs (both sides), outer thighs, and the sides of my heels. Well, as Hege kept repeating, "WEAR THEM WITH PRIDE!"

Um, yes, ma'am ... =|

Went into two sex shops in the course of our meandering: I think I need to start a sex shop fund and make a shopping list soon ... even though I thought the breadth and depth of the merchandise were pretty lacking.

I definitely want a whip and leather ankle and hand cuffs.

And leather gloves (opera-length).

Nirvana - 'About A Girl'

Album: Bleach

After listening to my "... but when it hurts, it really hurts ...", Rachael had remarked, "It sounds like you're in an abusive relationship - emotionally-abusive relationship."

I'm not; I'm just ... tender, I guess. And, in a way, I revel in the pain like a pig in its own muck. Either pain is a comfort zone, or I'm a masochist in my own way, I guess.

What a strange evening this has been: Zenzi, Wil, Rachael, Roger, Taufik. Postponements and cancellations upon chance meetings and spontaneous invitations.

And I realized I no longer like being touched by a male, friend or no, unless I know he's gay. This is, frankly, truly disturbing.

Foo Fighters - 'Next Year'

Album: There Is Nothing Left To Lose

Just so happened that my mp3 player kept playing 'Next Year' this morning; reminded me of the times in Welly I played it, especially in 2004: Every time I heard this track, it depressed me.

But this morning, listening to this song after a hiatus of two years, it gave me hope. Hope.

It's all in the perspective.

Belle & Sebastian - 'You Made Me Forget My Dreams'

Album: Lazy Line Painter Jane

Don't remember having another bizarre dream last night, but I suppose I didn't have enough time to dream, what with two texts from Jit at 1 AM and one from Geeta at 6 AM keeping me awake and waking me up.

Boy am I tired ...

Belle & Sebastian - 'A Century Of Fakers'

Album: 3 - 6 - 9 Seconds of Light

This August month seems to be passing so quickly.

Geeta's back from Myammar and texted me. Has she only been away for a couple of months? So much seems to have happened since she left.

Relativity?

Van Morrison - 'Brown Eyed Girl'

Album: Blowin' Your Mind!

This day ... Sigh.

So hard to find my way / Now that I'm all on my own ...



(Very danceable, this song.)

Fisher - 'Any Way'

Album: One

It occurred to me, this evening as I was going up on an escalator, that I fucking love going up on an escalator, and I felt like I could do that forever - on an escalator forever ascending.

But then I thought about how all things that go up must come back down, so I didn't want to be going up for too long, because my problem'd never been going up; no, it'd always been coming down. I think, when I was young, I'd climb so high up (slide? ladder? tree? hill?) I was stuck, because I was too scared to climb down.

So what I finally concluded was, I'd like to be going up and down continually on escalators.

It just seemed so ... wow.

You know?

Anoushka Shankar & Sting - 'The Book of My Life'

Album: Sacred Love

Terrifying thought: I haven't read a book in, maybe, months.

No wonder I'm getting (more) stupid. I can barely string together three words to form a coherent sentence now ... Ack.



And I'm a terrible dancer.

=(

Muse - 'Feeling Good' (Nina Simone cover)

Album: Queer As Folk Season 3

Pole. Kanya. Bought a bag from Topman (I don't like it when the boys get nicer accessories than the girls). Average dinner served with great conversation.

This day hasn't been half bad, lah.

=)

(Muse does lovely covers, hot damn!)

Christina Aguilera - 'Nasty Naughty Boy'

Album: Back To Basics

Be seein' you in 11 hours, big boy - can't wait till I get my hands and legs around you and practise my moves.

Ack! I find myself reaching for every single freakin' pole and railing in sight, reaching to grasp them to assess their thickness (and, therefore, suitability). =/

You know ... If I removed my queen-sized bed and installed my own pole right in the middle of my bedroom and put up full-length mirrors on both walls, I'd have my own studio (albeit a rather small one)!

I think it's doable! I can sleep in the balcony or the piano room!