Coheed & Cambria - 'An End To A Beginning'

In the bus this morning, I thought my wrists look much smaller than I remembered, but when I grasped one with my hand, it felt exactly as it always had.

In the bus this evening, I thought how much I'd like to have someone who'd always be on my side, when I've been hurt, and stand up for me. Then I realized nobody's ever deliberately hurt me; if I hurt, it's all in my mind, all my doing. Always has been.

But to be able to feel pain is to be alive, right?

X Japan - 'Endless Rain'

Album: Ballad Collection

In my comfort zone in this thunderstormy night.

I'm home, but scared.

K's Choice - 'Not An Addict'

Album: Paradise in Me

Downtime.

Tonight's a very bad night, this dark moon night.

Milk offering tomorrow.



शक्ति

Tosca Tango Orchestra - 'Ballade 4, Part 1'

Album: Waking Life OST

I think ...

I feel like this piece of music at the moment.

Blog 27 - 'I Still Don't Know Ya'

Album: LOL

There are so many times I wish I could shed my body, because it doesn't feel like mine, because it traps me and weighs me down.

Without it, I feel I can run forever and never be out of breath, dance away into infinity ...

Sometimes, I wish I could dance and dance and dance ... until I break this clay vessel that imprisons me and slip away; free, at last.

Big Mountain - 'Baby I Love Your Way'

Album: Reality Bites OST

Watched Reality Bites (after Pyaar Ke Side Effects) today. It's still relevant, still makes sense today; in fact, it makes more sense to me now than when I first watched it (in my early teens).

Never really thought about who I am, what my identity is. I'm just ... me, I guess ... you know? And whoever that is - I don't know.



Need a long cuddle; need a good friend ...

=(

X Japan - 'Say Anything'

Album: Ballad Collection

You will be very vulnerable emotionally, therefore stay away from situation where you are likely to get hurt.

This is part of one of the horoscopes I read this morning, and I wondered if living means staying put and getting hurt, not running away anymore.

But running away had always hurt as well ...

Maybe a broken heart's like a slipped disc: It'll recur (maybe more and more frequently so), and even the slightest exertion would cause pain.

Or perhaps it's possible to be trapped beneath the dusty debris of a heart broken in another life.

And if you couldn't free yourself in time, and weren't found and rescued before the fresh air runs out, then, I guess, you will only die.

INXS ft. Sona - 'Afterglow' (Fusion)

Album: V Channel Blast 2007

Another long day.

Good news: Christine, Geoff, and Peter approved (unofficially). Bad news: Midway through the morning, I seemed to have tripped and entangled myself in knots - and this is just the beginning.

Kai later reiterated what the numerologist kinda said: You created the knots in your mind ... Yourself.

Didn't make it to Beavers for pole dancing ... =(



Not quite sure why - nor understand how - I can't be in a good mood if you aren't.

Notorious MSG - 'Dim Sum Girl'

Album: Die Hungry

How can they expect me to focus, at work, when I'm not allowed to have any distractions? Them crazy corporate types ...

=/

Today's been ... some day.

Glad I decided to live.

Arianne - 'Komm, Susser Tod'

Album: 新世紀エヴァンゲリオン劇場版: The End of Evangelion OST

I decided today that I don't want to live vicariously anymore.

I want to live.

Seether ft. Amy Lee - 'Broken'

Album: Disclaimer

Feels like a long day - for one that only actually began around 12 noon.

Have to think about other things tonight; now.

Hege sounded so, so, so terribly sad when she said, "When people hear you're a dancer, they just think you're a prostitute. People think I'm a Russian hooker."

Me and sadness ...

But she has fight. Which is a good thing. I think I've been trying to cultivate that.

Hege's got a new haircut. I feel like taking that as a sign that I should get mine too.

The Killers - 'Read My Mind'

Album: Sam's Town

Come Monday, I will print out the application form and work on it.

Yes, I will.

And I will be patient.

रूप कुमार राठोड़ - 'खामोश रात'

Album: थक्षक OST

Am getting quite worried about all the uptime I'm having; I worry about all the downtime I'd have to pay back for it.

Yet, every time I feel myself falling, I pull myself back up; disallow myself to fall further.

Joyce was right: Wretched misery and desperate depression are my comfort zone. It feels weird not to be there.

But I guess it feels pretty good, too.



लेकिन ... यह सच है या सपना?

Ani DiFranco - 'In or Out'

Album: Being Out Rocks

Oh no!

Aileen's four-day transit in Singapore will clash with Indignation 2007.

Am torn between her and attending the events that I am itching to ...

Sadness.

Bad-timingytis strikes me again.

=(