Got my tickets for a few films in my shortlist for this year's Out Takes Film Festival:

1. Finn's Girl
   
2. Bi The Way
   
3. I Can't Think Straight
   
4. Seriously Good Girl Shorts
   
5. Short and Girly
   
6. Ghosted
   
7. Love My Life

The rest of the films in shortlist for which I've not purchased tickets:

1. Mr. Right
   
2. The New World
   
3. Patrik, Age 1.5
   
4. Spinnin' (6 Billion Different People)
   
5. Ten More Good Years
   
6. To Faro
   
7. XXY
   
8. Antarctica
   
9. Boystown
   
10. Fashion Victims
    
11. International Male

Yeah. I'm not here to pursue a useless honors degree in English at all ...

Just before dinner I got a text from the studio asking if I were interested in being filmed while on the pole - for the 48 Hour Film competition. I went just for the experience.

Turns out, all A. and I have to do is to do monkey tricks as background dancers of sorts; and the director was a really sweet bloke too. Not to mention, it was nice to have a bit of pole play (the studio was toasty with all the lightings and people, and good for pole).

When they wrapped up, I got a text from my Dad informing me Doggie's been to the groomer and now spots a new haircut.

She looks like a boy dog now ... =(


(as at 02/04/06)

(now)

I'm sick of this research essay and everything about it.

Studying is so much less fun than I remember. There are occasional bursts of mild interest in the stuff I'm working on, but, by and large, the best part of days is still pole (although it's been irritating how the colder weather these days has been fucking up my pole prac - no heat, no grip).

I'm so frustrated I could explode. ARGH!

The inevitable deluge of post-mortems of the hottest saga in Singapore. I've been going through article after article, blog-post afte blog-post, and for me they paint a rather frightening picture of the fundie-virus.

Then I had a sudden thought: The (over)zealous evangelizing and conversion of sheeple - is that what earns one brownie points with the god in their head ("Collect 1,000,000 points and you stand a chance to redeen a trip to heaven - all expenses paid!")?

Is this evangelizing a sorta multi-level marketing?

Yikes.

I guess eating with anyone with a medical background will inevitably lead to some pretty scary and gruesome conversation topics ...

Still feeling very emotional about the women and men at the EGM yesterday. Very proud of all of them; very, very, very proud.

Not so proud of myself, because it's just struck me that I only followed the EGM in realtime (via Twitterfall) because I'm here in Welly; had I been in Singapore, I very possibly would've missed it all just to be at pole. I would've been one to "shut up and sit down" and not stand up and speak up.

Hopefully this momentuous event will set a precedent for Singapore and me: Don't let someone yell at you to "shut up and sit down"; don't let the vocal religious-fundie minority - or any other nutjobs - bully you just because they're louder and more strident.

Good grief.

I've been following #awaresg twits at Twitterfall for the past 8 hours - have cooked, eaten, and showered - and I still don't know the results of the no-confidence vote.

But I've learned a few other things (SGD 90,000?! "Shut up and sit down"?! "Femmentor"!), felt exhilarated, laughed, growled, almost teared, among many other things.

My Volsunga Saga remains, sadly, still untranslated. I'm gonna go grab a snack before I fall asleep on my netbook.

Give us the results already, why doncha! =/

Open night at the studio yesterday meant 3 free hours of pole work!

But it was too cold (windchill factor at 7°C) and the poles were slippery because warm hands on cold steel poles meant lotsa condensation. My arms felt really weak and my hands were slipping off the (upper part of the) pole that I kept sliding when I inverted mid-pole to chopper, and couldn't even have enough grip to get from scorpio to star.

Still, I tried out the new way to get into brass monkey that I'd been visualizing - bat to brass monkey - and it worked!

I just read this on the Hardware Zone forum (re: AWARE takeover) and laughed my ass off:

24-04-2009, 11:35 AM
playtime
Member

Emperess [sic] Palpatine?? The Sith always comes in pairs, a Master and a [sic] Apprentice....


Luke...... *heavy breathing*... I am your Motherrrrrrr...

XD

Not sure why though ...

Read this today:

While homosexuality is clearly wrong, it is not the worst sin either, he said. People who are involved in homosexuality are no worse than people who lie. However, there is a tendency for the church to condemn homosexuality more than other wrongdoings.

"He", of course, would refer a certain pastor in that cult church. (Yes, that particularly vocal one.)

And it made me think: If gay people cannot be who they really are (because of what some men had written in a certain book) and had to suppress that integral part of themselves every single excrutiating second, would they not be liars?

And who - or what - would have made liars of them?

Call it PMS or stress (stress?), but I really miss Rach at this moment. I wish I could talk to her and have her make me feel it's going to be all right.

It's just occurred to me that there's a four-letter [apparently my math has degenerated so much I can't even count now!] five-letter word for people of Thio's ilk: BULLY.

Does the entire world thrive on playground dynamics?

I get really irate and frustrated with people sprout drivel about the "gay agenda" and how equal rights for the LGBT community will infringe on the rights of heterosexuals, taint all and bring about the apocalypse, yadda yadda yadda.

Selectively and stubbornly ignorant? (Or ...?)

Are they for real? Do they really believe that? On what basis and whose say-so?

Haven't been following the AWARE affair back home (mainly because it had seemed a little to sensationalized when I first read word of it), but - holy fuck and all things fucked up - if Thio Su Mien is part of the new ExCo takeover team then ...

I've no words, just nausea and black portentous dread.

OMGWTF!

Some girl I see around the studio during pole came up to me yesterday and asked me if I were going to be at the studio's open night next week. She said she was bringing her friends to the studio and wondered if I could be their show monkey.

Even though I don't know her name, hey I've absolutely no problem with that! It'll be play time!

I think I'm developing a little phobia of pole prac without a safety mat.

Yes, yes, I know it's a definite no-no - at least at my previous studio it was - but my current studio just doesn't have any sort of protective matting lying around. And after my slip on Tues, I'm getting a little jittery about my inverts.

I don't want this to be one horse I can't climb back on. =( There are still so many things I want to get. Like Angel Drop (maybe) - and the many other legs-free inverts.

Sigh.

Got the yogini (and also the mid-pole version) last Friday, plus the advanced Jamilla into extended butterfly mid-pole.

But had a terrible prac this evening. I slipped from a yogini and crash-landed on hard wooden floor. My right knee took the brunt of it. My dad recently cracked his knee-cap having slipped and fallen on it. Lord, the things that shouldn't run in the family ... sigh.

Anyway, I'm growing a lump on that knee (the right one) which feels warm; also, knee feels a little stiff, but almost no terrific bruising. The last time I fell on that knee, it was because I slipped from a goddess. Gah... =/

Yikes, I've been gettin' dirtier and dirtier ...

Advanced Jamilla to butterfly (extended) - I got it!

Had a nice Easter break and now on the two-week mid-trimester break. Oh lordy, I'm so far behind in my work ... sigh.

The right side feels better; managed to get some stuff done at yesterday's practice, but I didn't dare to try the Deville again - not until I feel the ache completely gone.

Told Christine yesterday about what I might do re: Research Essay - editorial work on the A-S and O-N rune poems, plus write-ups on four different aspects. She said to send her the draft of my proposal ASAP so I could formally send it to Geoff for approval. Sigh. My working life was so, so, so much easier.

Should be up and about running errands and doing research in the library today (when it's still sunny, albeit with southerlies), but am not. Bad cold wet weather the rest of the week.

Sigh.

Gah.

Maybe I pulled something (again) from repetitions of the Deville ... or, at least I hope I'd pulled something.

Was told yesterday that it's actually possible to have ribs fractured/broken from this trick - as Jamilla had - if the pole ends up being too high up on the torso. Now I'm a little worried and paranoid.

Will monitor self this weekend. But if I'd broken anything, I'd've felt it by now, right?

Last night's pole achievement: Nailed the Deville!

Sigh.

Shit, what am I doing?

Seriously, what am I doing?

Woke up feeling less than good - slept late, woke up halfway by a nightmare, unable to fall back asleep, woke up by a snuffed nose, unable to fall back asleep, etc. - but damn if I didn't nailed a couple of stuff at pole prac.

One: Knee-hold - all you need is a non-slippery pole, a sense of balance, and knees with dead nerves.

Two: Chinese flag-pole

Three: Hanging side-split (I still don't dare to call it an Ayesha) with my trunk and hips off the pole.

Yay!

Woke up with a dreary headache which, after breakfast, worsened with the swelling of everything in my head.

So I took a pill and went to back to bed ... and I've managed to pissed away a whole day.

Sigh. =|

Thank you free comic strip generators! Thanks to C who hipped me on to them, I'm currently addicted. Mephisto appears to make a perfect character!

Mephisto by thegirlyouneverknew

And to make myself feel a little better about wasting precious translation and reading time on such trivialities, I made one from the Prose Edda.

Choosing A God For A Husband by thegirlyouneverknew

There's just something about being here that makes me feel free to think about making changes - even if superficial - to myself; and I know the possiblity of those changes coming about is all in my hands, whether or not I'm willing to set them in motion.

This just doesn't happen with me in Singapore.

So ... Yet another step closer to the grave. Still, it wasn't a completely horrid day: 2 hours of a somewhat-interesting-and-fun LING seminar followed by 2 hours of pole prac - and I didn't manage to hurt myself too badly, considering the damage inflicted on Sunday.

Strangest of all things pertaining to the annual grave march was a call I received on Wednesday night. I didn't look too carefully at the caller's number, just that it had a Singapore country code (I assumed it was my dad), so I was awfully surprised to hear from Ben-from-secondary-school-with-whom-I'd-not-met-and-spoken-since-1997. Wow, that's some kinda blast from the past! Apparently he'd gotten my cellphone number off Facebook. Had a short chat (a little awkward), and an offer from him to to visit Vietnam where he's currently based.

Awesome!

Celebrated (well, not really) C's birthday yesterday; watched The Unborn after dinner.

Still haven't figured out what to do for my research essay - went from metrical charms to runes. Gotta settle on something soon ... =|

It looks like I'm gonna give up on pole prac today by default. ARGH!

Workshop with Jamilla today; but I hurt my left side so much going from superman to figurehead. It's been pretty bad since the Friday before last, but now it's ... ARGH.

Also, as I was in the speeding bus on my way to the workshop, it occurred to me that could be my life: That is, I'm hurtling along at 180 kph to old age. I'm nearly 30, and soon I'll be too old to qualify for and do stuff.

It's terrifying ... =(

This is absolutely super-duper fucking awesome.

I don't care if it's a clunky prototype - I want me one!

Time passes so quickly when you're not doing anything important.

And when you are.

Why does it only passes slowly when you're not having fun and/or want it to go by faster?

Oh ...

Don't tell me my previous daily (conscientious) journaling was due to boredom.

I'm still stuck in that bored and restless state, and I really hope it's just the current moon cycle, because it's really fucking with and fucking up everything.

Gaaah.

It's been a little frustrating; I'm bored and restless and don't know what to do with myself. I should be reading - for Old Norse, and my research essay - but I can't concentrate.

Then there's the little matter of filing my income tax before 15 Apr (just read an email from my old office) ...

I feel like I've drifted into living in NZ - back in Welly - from life in Singapore a little unknowingly. I've taken to living in Welly (a mixture of 2 parts familiarity and 1 part unfamiliarity, with a sprinkling of changes) that life back in Singapore seemed so far in the past it's almost a dream.

I'd say it's been an amazing day, but that might be overstating it ... just a little.

I saw Anna at today's seminar. Anna. Anna - about and for whom I'd scribbled wildly and desperately 4 years ago - and then some. She looked exactly the same - not as I remembered, because I don't think I do remember clearly enough - and the same silver armlet on her left bicep.

Then I went and did 2 hours of pole, which makes a total of 5 hours this week. I'm deliriously mad with joy - and mottled with bruises and new calluses.

And now, back to what should be my main piece of reality: Homework.

First-day-of-school-axiety: it's definitely not a coincidence I dreamed of Mrs. Cheng and Mrs. Lim the night before.

Seriously, more than 10 years later, they still stand out in my mind. Are they like, truly formidable, or what?

I've been missing my Doggie something fierce ... =(

I figured I'm renting about NZD 15 worth of video a week - that's 15 movies a week.

Had gone through the three-ring circus that was orientation and enrolment earlier this week. Officially, I'm still not enrolled as the email I received after submitting my application merely thanked me for applying.

Papers I hope to be enrolled for:

• Old Icelandic
  
• Middle English to Early Modern English
  
• Literary Linguistics
  
• Research Essay

I don't know what I'm doing.

Anyway, it's the Cuba Street Carnival today; we'll be out as soon as C awakes ...

Well, internet connection's now up and running in the flat; you'd think I'd getting back to blogs - but, no. I guess it's quite different now. For one thing, I do not spend my nights sequestered in my room until bed time.

I don't feel like I've been doing anything at all; I go for pole practice (not even proper classes here) 3 hours a week, and spend the rest of my time watching rented videos and reading (when not eating, and also when eating =\).

But I could be doing so much more - taking language classes (Italian, or German like C), aerial classes, or some other classes - except I no longer have an income, one that I'm used to.

Suppose I gotta look for a part time job soon ... job-search just makes me utterly depressed.

Napier is such a lovely place! It's by the coast so I don't feel so claustrophobic and landlocked; the architecture there is mostly Art Deco. On the other hand, I can't imagine spending too much time there. I suppose it will be boring since I'm not interested in wine in general.

Orientation is this month; then: School.



Trepidation ...

Off to Napier for the weekend tomorrow! =)

Well, I'm still blogging, and will still blog. But I'm a little lazy about it in recent weeks because I don't have an internet connection in the flat; maybe things'll change when the connection is up.

Learned a very simple and short choreo (approximately 2 minutes of 'Tainted Love') at pole yesterday. I miss Linna's grace and flair when it comes to performance.

My complexion is going to the shitter. And I'm officially FAT.

And it's all the awesome food I get here ... =|

Looks like I've fallen out of the habit of this daily regurgitation my mundane life.

I'd completely forgotten about the Lunar New Year until this morning, at the farmers market, I heard a Chinese woman greet in Cantonese the old Chinese gentleman I was buying tofu and tau pok from; after a 'good morning', she'd added, "Gong hay fatt choy."

Later in the morning, as I traipsed past a Chinese restaurant, I saw a number of Chinese families having their dim sum. Then it occurred to me: Perhaps they'd take the sight of me - in a red t-shirt, carrying a rice-cooker (was on my way to New World to return it) - a rather lucky one ... No?

The settling down takes a bit of time, I think. A number of items have been unpacked; others, not. I received my 11 kg box (mailed by my Dad from Melbs) yesterday but he'd neglected to include my speakers so ... =( But he did text to say he'll mail it when he returns to Sg.

Maybe I'll spend the rest of my summer (before enrolment and start of school anyway) cooped up in the flat with my books and dvds.

Have yet to set up a landline and internet, which is a bit of a puzzle for me here. Unlimited internet access is almost unheard of, save with an exorbitant price tag running to the hundreds.

Oh well ... back to research.

Gah.

Since I got to NZ, I've been putting on weight. Yes. I believe that happened the very minute I stepped off the plane. Why? Aside from all the dining out, it's the coffee. I should stop the 1 flat white a day habit; I'm getting fat from the milk (not to mention a wee bit of lactose intolerance), but I refused to get the soy or skim milk option ... is yuks.

Also have been getting sunburned; now getting a bit under the weather, prolly from too much sun. And the southerlies.

But mostly the sun, I think.

(And all the fried chicken and sausage rolls and chips, etc. that I've been ingesting.)

Went to see Ghajini last night. Aamir Khan looks pretty good, but he's aging, no longers as boyish.

The show's okay, maybe a little better than the Tamil one I saw on telly some time ago, and I quite like the music by AR Rahman.

But I really doubt I'll watch another full-on masala in the cinema. It takes so long my butt started aching after the intermission ... =|

I find myself spending less time on the internet after arriving here.

Had a fantastic weekend with a drive up to Palmerston North (the place I'd've been at if I had enrolled in Massey; so glad I didn't) where I ingested a 350g piece of sirloin and some lambshank, and then to the Wellington Zoo and surrounding suburbs on Sunday.

Gearing up for the move this Sunday. Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.

I can't believe I haven't been posting daily entries because ... I forget to. (Wait, wuh - right?)

Also, it's sad I've forgotten how to bum. I've been spending this week fretful and guilty about not being at work. I'm a hamster that has lost its wheel ...

Have been thinking about getting a new blog since last month for the new year - I just want the time print to be correct and I don't want to change the time for this one because nearly all entries were made in Singapore.

Hm.

Also, it suddenly struck me how lonely it could be being in NZ because being 5 hours ahead means most of the people I know aren't necessarily online the same time I am.

Am sitting out in C's room because I don't want to freak out the Elusive-Flatmate-Heard-But-Never-Seen. I think he doesn't know he's not alone in the flat and has been singing as he vacuums his room.

Erm ...



(11:18)